Jump to content


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


About Jedi

Personal Information

  • Orientation
  • Gender
  • Pronouns

Recent Profile Visitors

375 profile views
  1. I remember that feeling. Discomfort, telling myself that there was no REAL reason for me to feel this discomfort, trying to pretend I didn't. That lasted for a bit over a month before I wisened up and realized that the discomfort itself was the only answer I needed. The push that finally made me break up was realizing I started wanting to avoid my friend, and if I was to retain any warm feelings, then the romantic side of the relationship had to go, before all my affection had been replaced by that ever present discomfort. You asked to do this to try it out, and from the sound
  2. I find this to be true also. I remember something clicked for me when I read this comic, for example. The confusion of a romantic person is helpful when explaining what romantic means, I found x)
  3. Just saw this and had a weird sense of deja-vu... Turns out it is because I just answered you back on AVEN x)
  4. Hey. I have a tendency of taking things very personally even when they are not really personal, and while knowing that generally doesn't help in the moment, I can see myself in some of these situations. And I think there is something like that going on here. At least with the specific comment your friend made. See, this was not perfectly phrased, but it also wasn't about you. There probably wasn't even that much intention behind it. It is one person going "I like someone who isn't into me :( " and another trying to be supportive like "She's missing out! (because you're great)" It's jus
  5. Mine mostly hoped I would eventually change my mind, or at least be open to change, if it happened to come upon me in the future. At this point, they've pretty much accepted that I am not interested, and in all likelyhood never will be. It's nothing contentious, and they likely would have come to the same conclusion even if I had said nothing.
  6. Jedi

    Favourite books

    I haven't, but I remember the first book in the series being brought up before. From the reviews I gather these are cute, cheerful and optimistic. About the opposite of the 'grim darkness of the far future', which I find myself stuck in at the moment. I might check them out next time I need to take a break from Horus Heresy and cheer myself up a little x)
  7. Jedi

    Favourite books

    My standing recommendations are: The Deed of Paksenarrion, by Elizabeth Moon (fantasy, old favorite of mine, about a woman becoming a soldier. Suppose it is no surprise I was drawn to ace-aro characters even before I had a term for it x)) Ancillary Justice, by Ann Leckie (sci-fi, about a ship-AI, when I read it I wondered if maybe this wasn't the best book I had read so far) I have currently found myself with a new obsession: the Horus Heresy (there are a lot of books in the series, by different authors, but the first one is Horus Rising). They have a lot of ace-aro representa
  8. I came here to talk about the blood-brothers thing too. It is a well known concept, though aged, I feel like. It shows up in old tales and norse mythology, things like that. I never encountered it as a schoolyard thing, like skittles have. And it is also my impression, that a lot of cultures have had similar things. Usually as a symbolic brotherhood thing, and sometimes specifically for battle-reasons, but if we want to apply the concept in a modern age, we can always update those parts. It probably would be a slightly strange to be blood-brothers today, in an actually serious way, but I think
  9. Scalding. Unless the temperature outside is way too hot already, then I go for lukewarm. I heard that if you want to cool yourself down, lukewarm is better than super cold. Something about how if you shower real cold, your pores will close and your body doesn't cool itself down as effectively when you come out. But lukewarm suits me better anyway, real cold showers are uncomfortable.
  10. My goto method, which I don't know how well it will work for you, is to be honest and casual. A lot of the time, people pick up on the investment level of the other person in the conversation. We are a very social species, and have a lot of adaptations like that. I would go something like "I don't have any plans of doing that." I think that's direct enough to not be an invitation for matchmaking, but also without being harsh. "It will NEVER happen" invites people to argue about how you don't really knooooow if it will happen and then it will be a whole thing. A noncommittal "nah, not feeling t
  11. Oh yes, I am touch averse as well. It is interesting, because even in cases where it's good for me and I am specifically asking, like, "mom can you rub my shoulders? I think I did something weird with this muscle" I still feel some level of discomfort being touched, even though it's actively helping me. My parents adapted to this early on, since I was like this as a child as well, and once I got my aspergers diagnosis, a lot of boundaries like that where specifically brought up and discussed. I had to specifically tell my grandmother, who is naturally more inclined to touch people casual
  12. Yes! I love stories like that. I shall copy over a thing I posted on AVEN once, which is about this: I was hanging out with my grandmother the other day, and she mentioned how her father-in-law was widowed relatively early, with a lot of children, and that he had a lot of help from his sister at this time. The sister, she described, had no family of her own, never married and lived with another unmarried brother. They had a nice garden, apparently. She was talking about this as if she did not think it was strange at all, even though she also likes to make "you just haven't met the right p
  13. The thing with QPRs is that they are, by design really, outside of the standard relationship types in our culture. Not really what you expect of a romantic relationship, and not really what you expect of a friendship. So when it comes questions like this, all bets are off really. If you are in a monogamous(which is generally the expectation unless specifically stated otherwise) romantic relationship, then having another romantic relationship on the side is super not accepted. That's cheating. But if someone in a romantic relationship demands their partner has no friends outside of the relation
  14. Dumbass goes to space. Learns magic. Is tasked with killing the the bad guy. Refuses.
  15. I am sorry that I can't be as understanding here as the people above me, but here is how I react: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH This is treating people like things, and no it isn't ok. I think these dynamics you describe, with this level of possessiveness can be alright in certain circumstances, I think there is a level of this is BDSM spaces but my understanding is that it always comes with an understanding that if someone gets uncomfortable and don't want to be possessed anymore, there is a safe way out. If
  • Create New...