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How do you feel about hanging out with other couples?


Holmbo
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There are some advantages to hanging out with couples, for example that you don't have to worry about being flirted with like you might with a friend who's single. Or that your friend doesn't have to choose between you or their partner. But it can also be akward if you feel like a fifth wheel or get uncomfortable with their display of affection.
How do you feel about hanging out with couples? In which instances do you enjoy it or not.

 

 

 

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It highly depends on the couple- both how openly affectionate they are and how stable the relationship is.

I typically don't mind it, but most couples in my life right now are fairly low-key and easy to be around. I wouldn't want to be around a couple who were obsessively making out or being all cutesy the whole time, and I definitely wouldn't want to be around a couple who fought.

I've lived with two couples so far as an adult. One of those experiences was bad (the relationship wasn't healthy), while the other was good and I had 0 issue with it.

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1 minute ago, Apex said:

obsessively making out or being all cutesy the whole time, and I definitely wouldn't want to be around a couple who fought.

 

Ok so i stand corrected-

I feel uncomfortable around these couples

short story time: Once I was in a restaurant in a town I'd never been in. We were eating then I saw this guy aggressively giving his (i hope she was his) girlfriend a hickey. They looked about 14-15. I was also about 6.  Lets just say I lost my appetite-

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ahhh so , idk really i think im totally fine to be around couples but the thing is i have only been around my friends partner in online game ! :D soo , idk how i would react in real life but in online im okay and i may even enjoy seeing them doing lovey dovey stuff, i personally even enjoy participating in romantic stuff { i have soft romo partner } but if they start to ignoring me i will feel like third wheel and i totally hate it , i hate to be ignored , it gives me feel like im no one and i dont exist wich i have felt it enough when i was in schoo and with my other friends .

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I'm usually fine but to be honest I tend to drift out of any conversation, talking as a group of three is often a pain (especially as almost everywhere outside seems to be designed for two people to walk alongside each other). I tend to find the couple will mostly talk to each other and I will maybe join in on occasion, but a lot of the time I feel like I don't really need to be there. I definitely get the fifth wheel feeling.

However I have never felt uncomfortable because of being with a couple. Never really minded other people's displays of affection when they are people I know fairly well. I guess I am somewhat prepared for what I am getting into so am happy to let them be happy.

 

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It's tough for me because things usually are fine in the beginning, but then you kind of realize that you get less "care" if you will as opposed to the person they are in a relationship with. This could be intentional or not, but it still hurts me a lot as a person who struggles to keep friends around for a long period of time, and hasn't found someone who is into a QPR lifestyle, simply because too many people have told me that's not "real dating". So yeah I get hurt a lot, unless it's a couple that's already out of the "lovey-dovey" phase and in the phase where they are more like people living together who have a mutual respect for each other or something like that.

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It really depends on the couple. If I'm good friends with at least one of them, I tend to be okay with it, and if I like my friend's partner or I'm friends with both of them, it can be a fun time. My close friends who are in relationships/coupled up tend to be mindful and respectful of making me feel included usually, which I'm thankful for. WIth some other couples who act as if there aren't any other people in the world, though, then yeah, I do sometimes wonder why I'm even there. 

38 minutes ago, MulticulturalFarmer said:

It's tough for me because things usually are fine in the beginning, but then you kind of realize that you get less "care" if you will as opposed to the person they are in a relationship with. 

I get this sometimes too, it can indeed be a reminder that you're missing or getting less care. Not necessarily getting less care from that specific person but less care in general. For example I need regular physical contact, but with social distancing, I haven't been able to get that, so then when I see my couple friends cuddling each other or holding hands, I feel extra touch-starved.  

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4 minutes ago, Erederyn said:

It really depends on the couple. If I'm good friends with at least one of them, I tend to be okay with it, and if I like my friend's partner or I'm friends with both of them, it can be a fun time. My close friends who are in relationships/coupled up tend to be mindful and respectful of making me feel included usually, which I'm thankful for. WIth some other couples who act as if there aren't any other people in the world, though, then yeah, I do sometimes wonder why I'm even there. 

I get this sometimes too, it can indeed be a reminder that you're missing or getting less care. Not necessarily getting less care from that specific person but less care in general. For example I need regular physical contact, but with social distancing, I haven't been able to get that, so then when I see my couple friends cuddling each other or holding hands, I feel extra touch-starved.  

I hear you on the physical contact thing, seeing other people get something can certainly make you jealous. It certainly does for me. 

Maybe it's because I'm from a very heterosexual oriented area, but a lot of the basic assumptions of romance haven't been challenged. So cuddling and holding hands is seen as a "romance" thing for many people. Even extends to gay folks as well sometimes, the only people don't seem to have an issue with that are the poly-folks, whether straight, gay, or pan. But even there jealousy is a thing, so I guess many people just use relationship roles and to mask jealousy, which is stupid, since you aren't addressing the root cause of the problem. I had a friend who was trans but in a "hetero" relationship and his partner was pretty jealous of having me included and getting cuddles and stuff. So yeah, it's a murky world out there for sure.

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On 11/29/2021 at 5:15 PM, Holmbo said:

How do you feel about hanging out with couples? In which instances do you enjoy it or not.

Never felt uncomfortable. But THEY make a big deal about it. And THEY let you know!

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