Jot-Aro Kujo

I can understand that, but regardless, those are the connotations that it has to others. The aro community as a whole is moving away from using such terminology, because many allo aros have spoken up about the fact that it hurts us. So, even if it doesn't seem hurtful to you, to others it is hurtful, so it's better to simply use another, less hurtful term to avoid mistreating and excluding other members of your community. "Aroace" is generally the commonly used term to mean asexual and aromantic, and at only six characters, it takes the same amount of time to type as "full A"- even less if you consider that you don't have to use the shift key.

It's not discriminatory towards allosexuals as in allosexual alloromantics (i.e. people who are neither ace nor aro). It's discriminatory towards allosexual aros (people who are aromantic, and experience sexual attraction) as well as alloromantic aces (people who are asexual, but experience romantic attraction). It implies that we are "less" than aroaces, which is not cool. Our experiences are real, they are just as strong as anyone else's. "Aroace" is a perfectly fine term to describe being aromantic and asexual. You compared me, a bisexual aromantic, to cishets for asking that my experiences as an aromantic not be erased. I fail to see how that's being explicitly kind.

Lmao what?? Ok wow, and here I was trying to be helpful by explaining to you how members of our community help support each other, since you're new to the community. I see now that you don't actually have any interest in being kind to your fellow aros. Unfortunate!

Allosexual means “not asexual”- So, someone who experiences sexual attraction. For example, in my case, I’m aromantic and bisexual. So, while it is true that my experiences as an allo aro (allosexual aromantic) are very different from the experiences of an aroace, calling aroaces “full A” has a connotation of allosexual aromantics or alloromantic asexuals being “lesser”, like we’re not “real” aspecs or like our experiences aren’t as strong. I’m sure that wasn’t your intention, since it sounds like something you just weren’t aware of, so I don’t hold it against you or anything, don’t worry. But it is something to be aware of in the future, now that you know.

I would be a little careful of your terminology- Us allosexual aromantics are just as much "a" as anyone else, and lately the aro community is trying to move away from terminology that implies that anyone's orientation is "more" or "less" something than someone else's, as it can be unintentionally pretty hurtful and gatekeepy. But I'm glad you figured things out, and welcome!

Oh good! I'm glad it helped. Here I was worried that maybe it didn't actually make any sense and Yugioh had just left me disconnected from reality, lmao.

Seconding what everyone else said, and I say this as an aro who is very much concerned with not being "tied down" to any one person in my life. Imagine it like this. Let's say you're entering some sort of tournament that involves teams of two. You and your teammate are really excited for this tournament! You're very loyal to each other, ride or die. You work great together and really balance out each others' strengths and weaknesses. You're honored that your partner chose you as their teammate, and the bond you have runs deep; When you win, it will be together. If one of you goes down, you both lose. You're in this for the long haul, and you talk often about the strength of your bond as partners- There's no one you'd rather have fighting by your side, and you know your teammate feels the same. You're in it to win it, together. As the tournament progresses, you notice that your teammate seems increasingly tired. Concerned, you question them about it, asking if they're ok; They insist they're fine, even though this kind of exhaustion is unusual for them, which you know because you know them so well as a teammate. Eventually, your teammate confesses to you: This whole time, they've also been teaming with one of your opponents. All of that stuff about winning together, being the perfect team? That was all a lie. You've been putting in your all, giving 100% to support your partner, talking about how strong your bond is, how you'll win together- And all this time, your partner hasn't been giving their all, because they were busy working for another team without asking or even telling you, their loyal teammate. Not because they were tricked, or blackmailed, or anything like that, but just because... They wanted to. Because they liked someone else better. They could have said from the beginning, "Hey, I'd really like to play for this team too- Is that cool with you?", but instead they lied to you, telling you that you're the only one for them, that you're an unbreakable duo. They didn't care about you enough to be honest with you, or ask how you felt. They did what they wanted, without caring what you wanted; They lied to you, and even compromised their ability to provide what they'd promised- While you'd been putting in full effort to win the tournament, as was the arrangement, they were not, because they were dividing their time and energy between you and someone else, while claiming that they were giving 100%. After everything you did for them, all the genuine effort you went through to win the prize together with them, they let you down by lying to you and not treating you with the same respect you were treating them. Wouldn't that suck?

Then... What was your point? I’m not saying this to be rude, I’m just genuinely confused as to why you brought it up. No one is saying ace sites don’t mention aros ever, and that’s not the point of this thread, so I’m a little confused as to its relevance. (And, as an allo aro, I’m quite tired of seeing arophobic ace spaces get praised for doing the bare minimum, ngl.)

I know you mean well, but the irony here is that FYA actually is strongly disliked by many aros for having posted a lot of subtly arophobic content. It's not just a matter of aces acknowledging that aros exist; They need to be careful to do so in ways that are respectful towards us, especially allo aros. So while I do agree that Mark seems to be... Getting a little lost, FYA is actually a great example of the point they were getting at- That content from primarily ace-centered sources is likely to be skewed in a certain manner that can be unhelpful or even outright harmful to aros.

Yep. The only ones that were actually in the manga are when he comments on how jealous he is that Koichi had a girl confess to him, and when he comments that Reimi's really pretty and it's a shame she died 15 years ago. That's about it. The anime made him kinda sleazy, what with commenting on Josuke's mom and all that... That one was DEFINITELY never in the manga. I was really angry when I saw that they added that.

I raise you aro Okuyasu. (A lot of the stuff about Okuyasu and romance was completely made up for the anime and I'm still pissed about it tbh...)

A white ring has already been an aro symbol for years. It's not new.

I would like to clarify- If you're talking about squishes when you say "aromantic crushes", not all aros get those. I sure don't! And some alloromantics get them, too! I totally respect your identity, but I just wanted to put that out there for the sake of clearing up any misinformation. I know a lot of people who are new to the aro community get confused by getting introduced to aro terminology and then thinking all aros use or experience such things, so just to set the record straight: No, not all aros get squishes, and that's ok. Yes, some alloromantics get squishes, and that's ok too.

Jugemu Jugemu Gokou-no-Surikire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyoumatsu Unraimatsu Fuuraimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumitokoro Yaburakouji-no-Burakouji Paipopaipo Paipo-no-Shuuringan Shuuringan-no Guurindai Guurindai-no Ponpokopii-no-Ponpokonaa-no Choukyuumei-no-Chousuke. What's yours?

Also, I do have a question- How many mods are there? Is it just you?

I get that, but it doesn't seem fair to me, especially since @TripleA has proven time and time again that he's unwilling to listen to reason when it comes to the place of arospecs in the aro community. If someone walked in here like "Hey, I think aromantics are just special snowflakes who are actually alloromantic, here's my new No Aros Allowed pride flag, you're all fakers and how dare you speak for me", I'm sure that would not go over well with the moderation, or at least I should hope it wouldn't. So why is this repeated anti-arospec gatekeeping allowed a platform here? When does "civility" cross the line into hate speech towards other members of our community? I mean, you can say pretty much anything horrible and dress it up in a guise of "civil discussion" if you have enough of a silver tongue. (Which is how a lot of the alt-right recruits, tbh...)

Yeah, honestly, I'm also uncomfortable with how often people have been allowed to get away with openly talking shit about arospec folks, calling them alloromantic, etc. How can we have a welcoming community when this kind of behavior is allowed? Yes, yes, freedom of speech and all that, but when someone is repeatedly and blatantly trying to erase and degrade specific subsections of our community... Why is that allowed to continue?

Huh..? Do we have a food meme? I don't get it... I think that's just an ace thing. Sorry!

Hmm, if people are mostly only finding out about it by asking, that could be an issue in itself. Many allo aros shy away from the wider queer community due to exclusionism/general fears about being seen as Evil Predatory Sex Maniacs Who Don't Care About Anyone, and I can't imagine cishet aros would be going in at all unless they're involved in activism as allies.

I think it depends. For some people there is that connotation, however there are also some people who don't know what "a-spec" means or dislike the term for some reason, so it really depends on the person. Granted, most people I've heard from who take issue with the term "aspec" are ace and to some extent more involved with the ace community than the aro community, so idk.

Make it explicitly clear in your advertising that allo aros are welcome. People are a lot more likely to show up if they're certain that it's an aro group where they're wanted, not just like, an aroace group where they could potentially sneak in on a technicality.

Whether or not you tell him is up to you. You know him well by now, I'm sure- How do you think he would respond? Do what you think is best. I think if you do decide to tell him, it might be a good idea to be careful to assure him that it's ok if he doesn't want to date you, and that this will not change your relationship. And if he feels awkward or uncomfortable around you after that, give him a little space if you can; I don't know how romance repulsed he is (if at all, I hope for both of your sakes he isn't), but for some aros it can be very, very uncomfortable and even scary to find out that someone you think of as a friend has a crush on you. Ideally it won't be an issue, but if he seems uncomfortable, I think the best thing to do would be to not pressure him, continue to demonstrate that you're not going to treat him any differently, and let him back away if he needs to. If you're good friends, he'll probably come around eventually. Of course, if he is nasty to you about it, then yeah he's probably not worth your time. One last thing, though- Uh, is he open about his aromanticism? Did your mutual friend out him without his permission? If so, that's not cool. I would probably double check that if I were you, and if it turns out your friend did indeed pull a dick move and out someone without their consent, either a. try not to let on that you know he identifies as aro or b. tell him that your friend told you. It sounds like they probably meant well, but he does have a right to be upset if he was outed without permission.

Maybe it is disappointing to your parents. So what? Are you your parents? Are you a person, or are you their dress-up doll? This is something I've said to many people about many things, and now I will say it to you: Fuck your parents, the only person you need to worry about disappointing is you. Life is short, so live for yourself, not for other people. Don't force yourself into a life you don't want just because you think it'll make someone else happy. Do what makes you happy, and I'm sure if your parents love you, they'll come around when they see how wonderful a happy you can be. I know it can be hard to feel like someone you love is disappointed in you, but ultimately, they're the ones making the choice to be disappointed. I hope that, if your parents are worthy of your love, they'll be able to make the right choice.

Depends on the person. Anxiety and dread in regards to romance is not aromanticism- It's romance repulsion, which is common among aros. Just like how it's not true that forgetfulness "is" ADHD, but rather that it is a common symptom of ADHD. Romance repulsion isn't aromanticism, no, and not all aros experience it, but it is very commonly experienced by aros.

You don't. Because you can't say you're "the only person for them"- They have freedom over their own lives, and frankly, trying to convince someone that they can't be happy with anyone other than you sounds manipulative if not downright abusive. Also, I'm not sure you realize this, but this is a forum for people who experience little to no romantic attraction, so maybe not the best place to ask how to beg someone to be monogamous?