Jot-Aro Kujo

I’m allo aro. Been fighting for allo aro rights for quite a few years now. There’s more of us than you’d think, but a lot of people either don’t realize their identities because no one’s ever told them about it, or don’t interact with the aro community due to frequent mistreatment. Though things have definitely come a long way from when I was a teenager!

For what it's worth, I also was online since... Well, probably before most of you kids were born, lol. It's just that like I said, at that time aromanticism was pretty much exclusively viewed as a type of asexuality- There were asexuals, and there were aromantic asexuals, and that was that. If you didn't experience romantic attraction, but you also weren't ace, even the most microlabel-savvy folks would just go "Huh, that's weird. I dunno what to tell you. Maybe you're a late bloomer or you have internalized homophobia?" And of course, if you were ace, your asexuality was expected to be more important than your aromanticism. Most things that we would today associate with aromanticism were associated with asexuality at that time.

Lately I've noticed a lot of teens on Arocalypse, specifically younger teens. This is a huge shock to me. I'm only 25, but when I was that age, it was relatively uncommon for folks my age to be aware of what aromanticism was (at least outside the context of asexuality). I didn't realize I was aromantic until I was about 17 or 18, because I was always told that it was something of a sub-community of asexuality, and allosexual aromantics + an aro community outside of the ace community weren't something that were ever discussed or considered to exist. It was incredibly painful growing up like that, so I'm glad to see times are changing. For the other adults around here, what do you think of this phenomenon? Did you have a similar experience to me growing up, or were you aware of aromanticism from a young age as well? For the kids, here's some advice from someone who's been in this community a long time: Don't get hung up on finding the most accurate niche microlabel for you. Labels are meant to help you, not to cause you stress. If you find using certain microlabels helpful, great, but don't worry about it too much. Your identity may change as you get older. This is normal and nothing to be upset about. Like I said, labels are meant to help you, so if identifying as aro now serves a purpose to you, great. If you continue to identify as aro when you're older, great. If you find yourself not identifying that way anymore, that's ok too. Let yourself be whatever you need to be. DON'T call other people's attraction or life choices disgusting, annoying, weird, illogical, etc., at least not publicly. I know it can be tough to grow up in a world that pushes romance and sex, but be mindful of who can hear you. Many members of your own community experience sexual or even sometimes romantic attraction, and don't deserve to be demonized for that. Remember also that in the cases of queer people, people of color, people of differing religions, etc. many people have had their relationships forbidden or even been outright killed for their attraction. (Did you know that interracial marriages were not federally legal in the U.S. until 1967? That's my grandparents' generation. And gay marriage was not federally legalized until 2015, when I was 17 years old.) It's totally ok to vent in private with friends, but publicly talking shit about romance or sex in general tends to not do much other than develop an "us vs. them" mindset. People who experience romantic and sexual attraction are not some sort of science experiment for you to gawk at- They're your friends, family, neighbors, community members, and most importantly, your potential allies. Treat them as you would have them treat you. You don't have to come out if you don't want to or don't feel safe doing so. You don't have to have a QPR, but it's also not a problem if you do want one. Just make sure you're choosing it because you actually like your partner, not out of a desire to just have a partner in general. On a similar note, if you want to date people, that's totally fine! But make sure that's actually something you want to do, rather than just something you feel pressured into doing. Attraction isn't something that can be forced, and you do not need to stay in a relationship if it's not making you happy. Also, you should probably be up front with people about being aro if it's the kind of relationship where they would expect you to be romantically attracted to them. The western gender binary is a scam and deeply white in nature. If anyone tries to tell you that you can't act a certain way, wear certain clothes, look a certain way, use a certain name, etc. because of your gender or your body parts you should feel sorry for their narrow-minded worldview. (But keep yourself safe.)

Not me, I'm something of a maximalist. Need my living space to be filled with cool posters and fun little dolls and glitter. Hehe

The "mental conditions" question bro lmfao what 😭You put down two neurodevelopmental disabilities, a psychiatric disorder and a normal ass acute phenomenon that can happen to anyone and then no "other" option. Also it forces you to state your place on the ace spectrum even if you put down that you're not ace... I'm sorry I think I literally can't take this survey lol

If you and your friends have corrected her and she still misnames and misgenders you, at that point it's no longer a mistake, but it's intentional. You need to confront her about it and if she doesn't step the fuck up, dump her. I'm serious. Getting someone's name right is the bare minimum respect for another person, and she needs to learn that if she doesn't show other people that respect, she doesn't get to be a part of their life. You are not her doll to name as she sees fit.

I definitely recommend studying up on other religions when you get the chance, especially hearing the perspectives of people who practice said religions. It’s important for learning to understand and respect others, and can be useful for providing perspective about one’s own religion as well. I really think it’s important for everyone to learn about different religions.

Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you weren’t familiar with the word, lol. Yeah, basically “pagan” is a catch-all term for various different traditions. In a strictly historical sense, it means a polytheistic religion. In a modern sense, it typically refers to various western folk religions and some more modern religions (e.g. Wicca).

I mean, it's kind of difficult to summarize thousands of years of various worldwide religions in one post, but I guess I can talk about my personal experience. My mom largely works with the ancient Greek and Roman pantheons and practices stregheria, a type of Italian folk witchcraft. I do a little bit of that, but mostly I practice Kemeticism, which means I work with the ancient Egyptian pantheon. While my practice occasionally crosses paths with various different deities and forces, I largely consider myself a sort of devotee of Bast and Sekhmet, two lion/cat goddesses who both sometimes play the role of the "Eye of Ra". Sekhmet is a goddess of both war and healing, and Bast is more associated with the home, earthly delights, etc. Both are also mother goddesses, and Sekhmet in particular is also sometimes the cow goddess Hathor, goddess of beauty, music, sex, and parties. Sekhmet is also a strong keeper of Ma'at, the ancient Egyptian concept of order, truth, justice, responsibility, and equality. I strive to live my life in accordance with Ma'at and I look to Sekhmet to guide me in doing so. In my scholarly pursuits I also sometimes work with Thoth, and I take some influence from historical alchemy as well, which he is associated with. Additionally, I also consider myself a practitioner of brujería (Hispanic folk witchcraft). I'm Puerto Rican, and the spiritual traditions of my culture strongly influence my practice. My family keeps a traditional altar to the dead, which I tend daily, and I look to Puerto Rican traditions in my spellwork.

Been thinking about it a bit more, and I suppose it's somewhat interesting being pagan and bisexual aromantic. There's plenty of examples of queerness in mythology, and my identity is something I view as a strength, both in life and in my practice of religion and witchcraft. I've also always had a connection with Aphrodite, which some people might find surprising because she's frequently reduced to "love goddess" in popular culture, but there's more to her than that and "love" doesn't necessarily exclusively mean romance either. I've also found the various pagan communities I've interacted with to be pretty accepting, although it depends on the type- I mostly hang out with other Kemeticists, but a lot of Wiccans and such are still stuck on that whole "ooooh the divine masculine and the divine feminine ooooh childbirth is women's true power" bullshit so I don't pay attention to that lol I have gotten some shit from Christians for my orientation, but... I mean, growing up pagan, I've had people telling me I'm going to hell since before I was even old enough to know what religion or hell were, so I tend not to think twice about it anymore. I've got far better things to do with my life than spend it in fear of a concept that may or may not even be real, and that is mostly thrown around as a means of control over people who don't follow the status quo. A day spent with my hot gay friends having a good time is worth a thousand weird cultish insults to me 💚

Ah, so the kids are still throwing around the same homophobic jokes in 2023, huh…

Ok..? I'm sorry but I'm not really sure what any of that has to do with my post 😭

I'm pagan, mostly kemetic. I primarily worship Sekhmet and Bast, as well as practicing ancestor veneration per Puerto Rican traditions. My religion doesn't have anything against aromanticism.

What do you mean by "interacting aesthetically"?

That's not really how romantic attraction works at all. It's not something you can just spontaneously force, especially not with someone picked at random. If it happens, it happens, but there's no point in "checking"- It doesn't ultimately matter that much anyway.

Busy, but alright. I had a mental breakdown due to finals last night, ya know how it is, but I've only got a few days left and then I'm graduated lmao I can finally kiss this shit ass school goodbye

Yeah you should see a doctor tbh that ain't normal. Especially for someone who's still school age.

Do you have a source for this art? Or did you draw it yourself?

I dunno. That's not really something random strangers on the internet can tell you. I ain't no doctor

I'm not sure exactly what your question is..?

Just Like Heaven by the Cure, Kiss Me Goodbye and Moonlight Escape by Buck-Tick, Wow That's Loud by Green Day, and... Oops I Did it Again by Britney Spears. ✨ One of these things is not like the others ✨

This. People who don't respect boundaries don't respect boundaries- Doesn't matter if you call yourself aroace, a lesbian, married, a nun, if they don't understand/care that you're not interested then having a special label for "not interested" isn't going to change that. I mean, you can still make one if you want to, but I feel like you're putting the blame in the wrong place. Just like people who use neopronouns or xenogenders aren't the reason why people are transphobic, people who use microlabels aren't the reason people won't respect your boundaries as an aspec.

Oh great, Guy Who Hates Arospecs is back

I think you should move on. It's great that you're supportive of him, and I understand that you still like him romantically, but from what you've described it seems like he's just not capable of reciprocating your feelings. Why stay in a relationship that's not fulfilling your needs? Sometimes people just aren't compatible, and that's fine. I think both you and him would be better off if you two stayed as friends but not romantic partners, and instead you find someone who's more suited to your needs.