Jot-Aro Kujo

As someone who does experience sexual attraction, it’s… Really not that big a deal. I experience sexual attraction, and here I am, a recent college graduate about to start my career, with plenty of close friends and thriving hobbies. I’m not “obsessed” with sex and it doesn’t interfere with my life; I also have friends who are in romantic relationships, and they’re doing fine too. Interest in something doesn’t mean it’s all you care about. Conversely, it’s entirely possible to have other distractions that aren’t related to sex or romance. I think you should reflect on why you believe sex and romance to be “obsessions” that get in the way of the rest of life. It’s totally ok to not want to experience them, but I’m not sure you actually understand the reality of how attraction works, and the way you talk about it has roots in harmful stereotypes.

Ok? So you find some videos you don’t like, that you assume are made by a child. Why is your first reaction to go put them on blast before a bunch of strangers? Is that nice behavior? What do you expect to gain for doing this?

I think what you should start by doing is trying to come to terms with sexuality- Not necessarily your sexuality, just sexuality in general. The concept of sex and sexual desire. It sounds like you have a lot of resistance to the idea of sexuality because it's been weaponized against you. This is totally understandable! But you have to understand that the problem is the people wielding the weapon. It's like how when people accuse others of being gay in a derogatory manner, the common response is to go "I'm not gay!", reinforcing the idea that gayness is a bad thing, rather than addressing why these people are using it as an insult in the first place. When someone calls you a degenerate (a word that has a long history of association with homophobia, transphobia, racism, and eugenics), they're not saying "I think you're someone who's not asexual, and that's fine." They're saying "I think you guys are into sex (other than purely reproductive married hetero sex), and I think that's wrong and gross. I don't like you guys, therefore you must be into wrong and gross sex." By immediately asserting that you could never be into sex, while I understand why that would be your first reaction, it only serves to reinforce the idea that sex is a bad thing. In other words, you're sharpening their weapons for them. Ultimately, it doesn't matter if you're asexual, or allosexual, or something in between. But as long as you have this idea that sex and sexual desire are things to steer clear of, it's only going to do exactly what it's doing now- Cause you distress the second you might have any interest in the concept whatsoever. Obviously you don't have to be comfortable with people sexualizing you and speculating on your sexuality (which is a super fucked up thing for them to do), but you do need to come to terms with the fact that sex is a thing that some people desire and enjoy, and there's nothing wrong with it. There would be nothing wrong with it if it were something you wanted for yourself, and there would be nothing wrong with it even if you didn't. Work on getting to a place where you can view sex and sexual desire as a neutral thing, and then figure yourself out.

Yay!!!! Happy solstice!

Um. I’m not ace nor interested in dating anyone, so I guess 9 or 4 are the only real options for me. What’s with the little guys on fire tho

Speak for yourself, I think everyone should look at my outfits and think "Wow, that lady is so cool and stylish and powerful, I want to be her friend and also give her $100 just for being so cool". (I mean, I usually just get "I love your dress!" or "Cool hat!" but that's good enough for me)

Huh? Do romantic orientations normally have aesthetics associated with them? I just wear clothes. I mean, I'm goth and tend to dress accordingly, but that has nothing to do with my orientation.

You know, it’s possible to not understand something and just say “I don’t understand this, could you explain it to me?” instead of immediately going “Wow there’s something wrong with you! You must be mentally unwell!!”

I mean I suppose it depends on the person. I don’t particularly care either way myself, but the forums isn’t a hivemind, yknow? So idk if there’s an answer really.

Here's the thing. OP you're like, what, 14? 15? For some reason, a lot of adults think that kids that age or younger are some sort of helpless idiots who can't possibly have or understand any life experience, and instead need to be told how things are by adults. (And like, yeah sure, you obviously aren't going to know as much in general as someone who's older and maybe shouldn't make permanent decisions like getting a tattoo or something, but that doesn't mean kids aren't the authorities on their own personhood). Chances are no matter how confident you feel, no matter how long it's been, no matter what "evidence" you present, they're not going to listen to you purely on the basis that they think teenagers are morons. That's why I'm saying you gotta ignore it. It's not worth the energy and stress to try to prove yourself to them, because chances are it's not going to be possible to do so, and more importantly, you don't need to. Other people's opinion has no bearing on your identity. You just gotta keep telling yourself, as Zaza herself once said, I am what I am. If they care enough, they'll come around when they decide you're old enough to qualify as a person (even though they really ought to respect you at any age). If not? Fuck 'em. It's your life, not theirs.

This is ridiculous. Even outside the discussion of whether this is fair to aspecs or blah blah, like... Humans are a communal species. We've been living in groups for thousands of years. In my culture, it's very normal to have multiple generations of a family living in the same home, or to have many roommates, or to have friends and neighbors coming around on a near daily basis; Living solo or exclusively with a romantic partner, while not exactly unheard of, is fairly uncommon. And there are plenty of reasons for people to share living spaces: Splitting the bills, splitting housework, helping to support people with disability needs, or even just companionship. To ban this practice is ridiculous. In my opinion, restricting the number of people who can live in one space is just classism. No matter what excuses they use, as multiple people have pointed out, there's still plenty of problems (couples can be rowdy; single people can throw parties; small groups can skip out on rent, etc). All it does is make it that much harder for poor people to be able to afford a place to live.

Just ignore them. It’s frustrating, I know, but ultimately what they say doesn’t have any bearing on your identity. You have nothing to prove.

Glad to see kids are still experiencing Happy Tree Friends in the year of our lord 2023

??? I don’t think that’s trauma then, aside from the bugs I guess. I mean it’s understandable to be creeped out by certain things as a kid, but I don’t think it’s very nice to compare it to childhood trauma, since that’s a pretty serious topic.

Just the Simpsons. I'm a little concerned if y'all are really getting lasting psychological effects from this many shows... Have you talked to a therapist about it?

Me https://m.youtube.com/@auroravalentina396

I was sure as soon as I figured it out, but to be fair... I mean, I've told this story a hundred times, but I didn't realize it was possible for me to be aro until I was a fair bit older because aromanticism had only ever been described to me as a type of asexuality. Once I realized it was possible to be aromantic and not asexual, I was finally able to understand and explain the way I'd felt for years. I was about 17 or 18 at the time.

Do I feel like being aro affects my sexual interests and lifestyle? Yes. Do I feel like it impacts my allosexuality? No. As others have pointed out, it’s entirely possible for asexual folks to have a libido/sex drive, or to enjoy sex. Being allosexual means experiencing sexual attraction- That is, the specific desire to engage in sexual activities with particular individuals. I certainly experience this, and not just towards fictional characters (although if Marisa Streetfighter were real, the things I’d do for her…) If I’m being honest, I don’t think you’re allosexual. Everything you’ve described sounds like sex-favorable asexuality to me. The allo aro community is certainly friendly to our sex-favorable ace siblings, but they’re fundamentally different experiences, and that’s ok! That being said, you know yourself best. It’s not my place to try to tell you definitively what you are or aren’t; I’m just giving my two cents. But I can tell you all the allo aros I know identify as such because they do experience general sexual attraction.

Sounds to me like that kid needs some help themself- Associating sex with normalcy and self-worth, especially at a young age, is pretty unhealthy. Fucked up thing to say to someone, but definitely pretty telling. I hope people start treating you better and I hope that kid can unlearn their toxic social values before it lands them in trouble.

🚚💀🙏

Um… This is a little bit TMI. You might want to use a content warning and spoiler tag for some of the more personal details.

You can be worth something and be important to someone without a romantic relationship. Part of it is having good friends, and part of it is not getting trapped in the “no one can ever love me for real” mindset (I’ve been there). Know your self-worth and eventually other people will know your worth too.

Medieval Italian war combat, and fighting games. Not that I’m exactly tournament level, but I can hold my own against your average player in most fgs.

Well, there’s Never Been in Love by Will Jay. For allo aros specifically, I like Body Talks by the Struts ft. Ke$ha, and Chemical Love by Kevin and Cherry.