aroneous

Right, I was just referring to aromantics who say "I can't relate at all to wanting love and romance", which is a common way for someone to express their aromanticism. I think I can relate and I understand why someone would want it, I just don't want it myself, so I wonder where I stand in relation to them. It's very specific. I could draw an analogy to imagining you're about to bite into a sour lemon, and feeling your mouth get tense. If I imagine doing something romantic with someone in a specific context, I can feel some inklings of the "butterflies in the stomach" and other sensations that probably accompany romance. It often happens while I'm dreaming and usually tends to be specific people, but I don't think it means I am genuinely attracted to them, it's just something I "note" in the moment and forget about as soon as I stop thinking about it. I'm just not sure how common that is amongst aromantics. I guess it is pretty analogous to asexuality, in that one can imagine situations to stimulate sexual pleasure without necessarily feeling any kind of sexual attraction.

Interesting, I think my crushes felt genuine at the time, but I'm sure part of the reason I had them in the first place was because of the social pressure to have a crush just for the sake of "fitting in". Like, not having one meant I would be left behind, somehow, and no longer be able to relate to my peers. Out of curiousity, would you say that autism (if you're diagnosed as such) would explain why you're aromantic to begin with, or does it instead more tied to the way you express your aromanticism? Or is it both? Are there aspects of autism that you think might make someone more likely to be aromantic?

Hi folks. I've been trying to better understand where I fall on the aromantic spectrum, and maybe y'all could help me out. Firstly, I'm someone who you could say "became" aromantic. When I was younger I had romantic ambitions, though they were always somewhat subdued, I guess I would say that I was demi-romantic. I definitely had "crushes", though they were few and far between. But as I became older, I went through a period of personal change, and I guess I would consider myself now to be more or less a completely different person to who I once was, and in the process I've lost the ability to "see myself" in a romantic context. It just makes me uncomfortable to think about myself in that way (for a number of reasons), and I don't want it for myself. But at the same time, I think I'm still different from "most" aros. From what I've gathered, aros usually just cannot understand the motivation for romance at all. Personally, I think I still can. A-spec identities are usually framed in terms of a lack of attraction, and perhaps the term "attraction" is what is throwing me off. If I fantasize, I can still elicit in myself the same anticipation of romance and the pleasures involved that previously would have led to actions that would be characteristic of attraction. But for me, it's now no more than idle musings that I might engage in when I'm bored. I'm familiar with the concept of "orchidromantic", which refers to attraction without the desire for romantic activity, but I'm not sure if "attraction" applies to me at all. Attraction seems like something that exists more or less "in the moment" and is somewhat omni-present. But I can only get myself to feel this way if I purposely "distract myself" and construct scenarios in my head that I don't believe to be consistent with reality. And I don't think "romance-favorable aromantic" applies to me either because I don't think I'd be willing to do romantic things with another person. So, if I could pick a microlabel for myself, I think I would call myself a "romance-sympathetic" aromantic. As far as I've searched, there is no similar term to exactly describe how I feel about this, but perhaps one of you might know.