Collie

Aesthetically, I like blonde, long-haired guys. But I experience aesthetic attraction very little anymore.

When I see romance in movies, I'm just like, eww. But in anime? I'm like "good shit!" ? Maybe it's because romance in most movies tends to come kinda out of nowhere? Whereas, anime tends to build it up and let you get to know the characters first. That said, even when I'm watching romance anime, it somehow still hits me out of nowhere when they start confessing.?

Not personally triggered by suicide, but I have triggers for my anxiety. I think it can just remind us of the state we're in, and that's why.

Hi! Welcome! I think swearing is okay, but I'd check to see if there's any rules posted up anywhere to be sure

Being greyromantic is being in a weird state of somewhere-in-between. Because some people say, well, if you've experienced even a little bit of attraction, you're not aro, or even "if you have had only one crush then you're alloromantic". Then others say, "well, grey means you haven't experienced enough attraction to establish a clear pattern, so you can call yourself aro if you want" For me, I mostly relate to aromanticism. I have had very rare crushes (one that bordered on alterous attraction tbh), and even used to have a bit more interest in romantic things. So I call myself greyromantic, or grey aro, and have an aromantic flag. I think for me the most confusion comes from the fact that back at age 19/20ish (6/7 years ago), I had a little bit of interest in romance......to sum it up, it was NOT something I actively desired, but there was times where I thought (mistakenly) that someone was interested in me and while I didn't have feelings for them I remember thinking "maybe if we became friends this will lead somewhere". I don't know if that counts as romantic attraction or not. I just know that now, I'm not romantically attracted to anyone, haven't been for years, and don't want to be.

It's normal to experience attraction to men and women differently

First of all, welcome! I id as demisexual, but I might be allosexual. You're in good company here. A lot of people don't understand aromanticism and asexuality. Which sucks, but doesn't make either any less real.

Tbh I feel a little bit out of place on AVEN, since I'm demi and there's so much gatekeeping discussions on there, many saying the grey area/demisexuality is just allosexual. That, and I'm not 100% certain of my sexuality. But I'm very secure in my aro identity, so I feel at home here ?

I used to have social anxiety (professionally diagnosed), and I have OCD. I also have type 2 diabetes, which is not really a disability, except under the ADA where it is defined as one.....but that's just to keep employers from discriminating Some mental illnesses are temporary, and some are permanent. OCD is considered a chronic, possibly lifelong disorder. I first started experiencing OCD tendencies at 11 years old. For me, my obsessive periods come and go, and can stay away for a long time before something triggers them to come back. So mine would probably be categorized as "mild", though my episodes themselves certainly are not mild and are highly distressing when I do get them! I do think I am fully recovered from social anxiety, but I have a friend who has always had it since she was a young child and probably always will.

So, last October on National Coming Out day I stopped my mom as she was on her way to take a bath and showed her the aromantic flag hanging in my room. I said "this is the flag for people who aren't attracted to anyone". Her initial response was one of irritation, as she said "don't buy into that crap". Knowing she wouldn't accept a label, I continued to explain that I'm not attracted to anyone, and she accepted that. She did ask if I was gay, and I said no (I'm bi-leaning, but she doesn't need to know that). Since I'm in the grey area, I also left some room for possible future attraction by saying that I may experience attraction one day. So overall it went good.

1. I went through three periods of questioning, first in 2015 when I wondered if I was ace-spec. At the time I concluded that I was allosexual. Then, the next year, I developed feelings for a female friend and was bicurious before deciding I was bisexual. Last year or so, I began to question once again if I might be demisexual....this time the label felt like it fit. 2. Somewhat related, as I decided I was aro-spec while looking back on what little attraction I had experienced. 3. I think my demisexuality is related to my demiromanticism, as for me I can't see sex without romance, and if I'm uninterested in romance then I am uninterested in sex. But, they are two separate identities to me.

I guess I'm happy just to see aro rep at all, that isn't made into "oh, this man can't love, how sad".

Never have, probably never will

So, I used to have romantic feelings for this person. Started out as a squish, over three or so years it turned into something a bit more. For a long time I wanted to marry her, and I could picture myself cuddling her, possibly kissing them, those kind of things. I'm still SUPER DUPER fond of this person, that hasn't died down a bit. I'd totes want to spend the rest of my life with them, if they'd allow it. But some of the romantic gestures I used to be able to picture with them, I don't want anymore. Could my romantic feelings have changed to queerplatonic? I've always had fond feelings for squishes and the like, while (usually) knowing that I had no desire to be with them romantically or sexually. Though, it's true that they are more intense for this person than they have been for others--not to mention, most of my squishes died down after a few months, this one has been going multiple years now. I don't want to do romantic things with her, though, not anymore. What I do want would be to live with her, to know everything about her, to be the person she comes to for support, be around her forever, etc. Which, I guess, does sound more like romance than it does a squish, with everything I've said in this post?

Well, I came out to my mom as aro last "national coming out day". Though, I didn't use the word "aromantic" (I DID show her my flag), as she is very averse to sexuality labels. I explained it in very basic terms, that I'm not attracted to anyone and may never be. (I did leave some room for leeway there, as I'm grey.) But aside from my mother, I don't see a real need to "come out". If I were gay or bi and would be dating accordingly, sure, people might need to know beforehand, but I don't think most people need an explanation beyond "I'm not interested". If they ever prodded further I would explain, but otherwise I wouldn't go through the trouble. That said, I walk around with aro and ace pins on my purse, and a few people have recognized it here and there. (Also, I currently have an ace pin on my work uniform. And one customer did ask me about it, so I was "forced", for lack of better word, to come out as ace-spec in that sitch.) But not to invalidate anyone who does feel a need to come out! I guess I'm curious what your reasons are for wanting to come out to people that aren't immediate family.

So I had made myself a secret blog on Tumblr where I occasionally (when I get in certain moods) reblog porn and stuff. Which, yeah, you can be ace-spec and still be aroused by porn, doesn't mean you want it in real life. But one day I was in a mood, and made a post on that blog asking people to message me because I wanted to try virtual sex. I was curious what it'd have been like, largely, but I'm not sure if it also qualifies as sexual attraction. Generally speaking, I don't desire sex with people, and don't think I'd want it unless I had deep feelings for them. But this is making me question that. Maybe I'll allosexual after all. (I did delete the post asking for messages because the action goes against my morals.)

You Are 35% Conservative, 65% Liberal Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal Fiscal Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal Ethics: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal Defense and Crime: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

I ordered some pride pins from a Fursona Pins Kickstarted last year! Unfortunately, I wasn't really identifying as aro-spec back then, so the pins I got are demisexual, bisexual, and unity furry flag. But I DID get an aromantic rabbit sticker with the goodies that came with it! I also have an aromantic flag in my room. And aromantic pins. And a demiromantic badger badge to wear to conventions

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K has a canonically aromantic lead! Of course, I doubt aromanticism is something the author is familiar with, but the main character says in the first few episodes that he has no interest in romance and spends a good portion of the series avoiding it.

I currently label myself as demisexual, but I'm not sure I really am. I'm confident that I'm aro-spec, but I might be allosexual. Most of the time I feel like the only way I would ever have sex is if I were romantically attracted to someone, since I see them as connected. But, I only very rarely am attracted to anyone, so that is very unlikely to happen. Hence, I label myself as demisexual since I am at least effectively demisexual--since I'm demiromantic. But the other day.....well, I typed a whole thing out here, but the implied question would really be best for AVEN, so I'll just say I did something the other day kinda allosexual-ish, and now I'm wondering if it's really alright to call myself demisexual.

I'm kinda in the same boat, my squish is married. I've had feelings for her for 6 or 7 years now. At one point, my feelings were romantic, but I don't think they are anymore, as I can no longer picture doing romantic things with her. At one point, I totally would have, especially if she wanted it, but not anymore. I just want to platonically be with her the rest of my life. Tbh I'm not terriblyyy torn out over that never being a reality, but it does kill me when she's going through stuff and knowing she doesn't want to share everything with me. I want to know everything about her life tbh. I guess just know that friendships can be very deep. Though if they don't return the same level of platonic feelings, that can suck too. But give it time, squishes usually pass.

Hey, I go by Collie. I'm greyromantic, almost aromantic.

I had "crushes" on boys in kindergarten, but thinking back on it, was probably just squishes. I remember being 15 and thinking "I haven't had a crush yet...." (Of course, being grey, I had a crush later, at about age 19.) Yes! My first crush (I'm greyro), as soon as I realized they weren't interested in me I was just like "oh okay, moving on :)" and that was that

My therapist knew about the aro flag, as she asked about my aro pride pin in one of our sessions. But yeah, most people just think I like the colors or something.

I don't know if anyone's mentioned it, but Saiki Kusuo from The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. Though, it's canon, as the character blatantly states he has zero interest in romance in the first few episodes.