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Philbo Wiseroot

How does being LGBTQ+ in some way have its advantages?

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We all know about the problems we face daily, but what are the advantages of being ace, aro, gay, trans, NB, etc?

 

For me, it's that we've all been through more than most. We might know ourselves better than people who haven't had to figure themselves out on such a basic level as who we're attracted to, or our gender.

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It brought all of us all together as a community, as friends... I'd say that's a huge pro! :yespapo:

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1 hour ago, Dodgypotato said:

It brought all of us all together as a community, as friends... I'd say that's a huge pro! :yespapo:

Oh Godric yes! I've met my bestie and found my sister through AVEN and met a ton of nice people here too!

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13 hours ago, Pufflehugs04 said:

We might know ourselves better than people who haven't had to figure themselves out on such a basic level as who we're attracted to, or our gender.

I definitely agree with this. When I was at school everyone was too caught up in popularity to think about what they wanted, or even know what they wanted.

 

In my final year we did anonymous warm and fuzzies while on retreat, and while most of the people in my camp group wouldn't be caught dead talking to me I got so many compliments for being myself and knowing who I am. It's something I hadn't realised was so uncommon amongst other young adults.

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pro I experience:

 

* you parents may not push you to get children

* you are automatically "interesting" in caise you worry that people would find you boring

* the sh*t you have been thought makes you stronger, 

* you have a wider knowlegde about certain areas such as gender, norms, discrimination etc

* you may find it more easy to relate to other minority groups

* you meet many people you normally wouldnt have meet

 

 

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I've never personally identified myself with the LGBT+ movement, even with me having identifying as being on the ace spectrum for the last 2 1/2 years. The only advantage to that is that my immediate family, as far as I know, don't expect me to end up with a partner at all, which in it's own way may or may not be a disadvantage. I still think there is a slight possibility of having a partner of some sort, and due to recent things, it is possible for said "possible" partner to be male or female bodied. So yeah, possible future unknown things.

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4 hours ago, Tal Shi'ar said:

I've never personally identified myself with the LGBT+ movement

I used the term because there are some people who don't like "queer". :P 

5 hours ago, Natkat said:

you are automatically "interesting" in caise you worry that people would find you boring

And you have an "interesting fact" for those questions if you're comfortable with that!

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The puns. I love making puns about not being straight.

 

I love the positivity too, even if you don't feel down about your identity, posts that say stuff like 'aro girls are beautiful pass it on' often lift my mood, even if I'm very aro positive that day.

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5 hours ago, endergirlc said:

The puns. I love making puns about not being straight.

This 1000x this. So many great puns, so little time.

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6 hours ago, Zemaddog said:

This 1000x this. So many great puns, so little time.

Yes! Aros aren't straight. We're papo-shaped :P

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Honestly, being trans and having no reason to deal with the world of sex/dating is kind of a relief, especially since it gives me more time with my music. (I thankfully haven't had to deal with the more negative ways those identities intersect so far.) 

 

The researcher in me also sees my identity as an opportunity, because other GSRM people might be more open to interviews with me as opposed to someone who is not GSRM, or the interaction would differ enough that I would have unique research opportunities with these groups. I'm also more sensitive to more gendered situations/language/cues, which can potentially lead to unique research observations. 

 

Also, as awful as dysphoria is, gender euphoria is really nice. It's hard not to smile when passing in public, and hearing my voice played back to me for the first time since starting HRT made me almost want to cry tears of joy.

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14 hours ago, Zemaddog said:

This 1000x this. So many great puns, so little time.

The other day one of my friends was admiring how straight his ruler was, I just turned round and went 'nothing like me then!'

And if anyone asks me to stop telling a story the long way and get straight to the point...

 

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When people are giving me directions on where to drive. "Go straight... Go straight... Go straight..." Have to restrain myself every time.

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Personally, I find the amount of discussion and information on gender and orientations, and the fact that this collection of information is ever growing, to be quite a boon. It provides an extraordinary opportunity to better understand oneself and others. Well, the more positive discussions at least. A discussion on gender/orientation that is not positive is mentally draining at best.

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9 hours ago, Kerfluffle said:

Personally, I find the amount of discussion and information on gender and orientations, and the fact that this collection of information is ever growing, to be quite a boon. It provides an extraordinary opportunity to better understand oneself and others. Well, the more positive discussions at least. A discussion on gender/orientation that is not positive is mentally draining at best.

Exactly! I know myself better, not because I've done introspection as a choice, but because I've had to. 

 

I love the way you talk by the way :P 

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Girls are beautiful and sweet and gentle and kind and funny and loving and they're basically living art tbh, wlw are such an amazing and supportive sisterhood, exploring gender and presentation is so much fun, being nonbinary gives me something in common with literal gods in multiple pantheons, and I love our history and culture.

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On ‎9‎/‎22‎/‎2016 at 7:10 AM, Tal Shi'ar said:

I've never personally identified myself with the LGBT+ movement, even with me having identifying as being on the ace spectrum for the last 2 1/2 years. The only advantage to that is that my immediate family, as far as I know, don't expect me to end up with a partner at all, which in it's own way may or may not be a disadvantage. I still think there is a slight possibility of having a partner of some sort, and due to recent things, it is possible for said "possible" partner to be male or female bodied. So yeah, possible future unknown things.

You mean they could have any genitals? That doesn't make them "male bodied" or "female bodied", and it doesn't affect your orientation.

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5 minutes ago, Miles said:

You mean they could have any genitals? That doesn't make them "male bodied" or "female bodied", and it doesn't affect your orientation.

I think what tal meant by "male or female bodied" is AMAB or AFAB. Just because someone doesn't know the vocabulary doesn't mean you should have a go at them.

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Just now, Zemaddog said:

I think what tal meant by "male or female bodied" is AMAB or AFAB. Just because someone doesn't know the vocabulary doesn't mean you should have a go at them.

I wasn't.

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Are we talking about being part of the community or the demographic?

Being part of the demographic:

  • Its a different way of seeing things
  • The self awareness is definitely a positive thing
  • Girls are nice in all sorts of ways and a great company too :arolove:
  • In  my case, not having to take any birth control pills and not having unexpected pregnancy scares
  • Longer life expectancy apparently?:rofl: (Probably not, but who knows?)

And as for the community:

  • Social activities and cultural richness, meeting interesting people
  • A more diverse range of gender presentation is being accepted
  • Support and solidarity
  • Education, learning about other demographic groups I'm not part of

 

 

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Well, I read a study that said asexual CSA survivors have fewer flashbacks than allosexuals. So that's a plus for me.

 

Also, as an autistic person, I'm glad I don't need to try to figure out dating and sexuality, given how much angst I see allo/allo autistics having in that area.    

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Being a nicer person.

Could have been a bigot like lots of people in my circle if I had not also had different feelings.

 

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I wonder if I would be able to get a partner if I wasn't romance-repulsed aromantic. I don't see why not (okay, I can't really imagine being alloromantic and still being myself). But if not, probably I would feel miserable...? I'm glad that I don't have to find this out because I feel completely content being single.

 

Also all the quirks which I have and was very self-conscious about, pale in comparison to my aromanticism, which I wasn't even consciously aware of for a long time. So it really helped to put those quirks into perspective.

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On 3/15/2017 at 5:01 PM, DeltaV said:

I wonder if I would be able to get a partner if I wasn't romance-repulsed aromantic. I don't see why not (okay, I can't really imagine being alloromantic and still being myself). But if not, probably I would feel miserable...? I'm glad that I don't have to find this out because I feel completely content being single.

 

Also all the quirks which I have and was very self-conscious about, pale in comparison to my aromanticism, which I wasn't even consciously aware of for a long time. So it really helped to put those quirks into perspective.

 

Yeah, I think I had a similar experience to this.

I spent a long time thinking "if that person can get into a relationship, why can't I?" (as in - and without intending this to sound (too!) mean/judgmental about other people - well I'm not that quirky and they seemed to manage it!) 

It's only recently I started thinking the answer might have been "well, because, on some subconscious level, I didn't really want to".

 

Re. the original question: something that Elizabeth Brake explored in her book Minimizing Marriage was that, in rejecting heteronormativity, the LGBTQ+ community was also in a position to reject (or at least begin to question) amatonormativity. Some people in that community today are critical of gay marriage - for the reason that they see it as a kind of betrayal of the original, radical animating spirit of the community - a capitulation or reversion to heteronormative standards around love (interesting question to ponder: to what extend do heteronormativity and amatonormativity overlap as concepts, if at all?) 

I don't know if I agree or not (being historically persecuted does somewhat force your hand, as far as radicalism goes...) but it's interesting. I could see that, as an LGBTQ+ person, you would inherit somewhat of a conceptual framework and the community support to question what's 'normal' vis-a-vis romance and sexuality. Things a 'straight' person can potentially miss out on.

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Quality sex *double pistols and a wink*
 

I dunno. To be honest, there's not many advantages of being gay, to me. My people are oppressed by society as a whole, the lesbian community is pretty much ripped to shreds, and I feel like if I'd been born a cishet dude I'd probably be happier than I am now.
 

But...I guess the rainbows are nice?

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