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Mezzo Forte

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About Mezzo Forte

  • Rank
    Member

Personal Information

  • Orientation
    Aromantic
  • Gender
    A Gentleman and a Scholar
  • Pronouns
    He/him/his
  • Location
    Office Hours
  • Occupation
    PhD Ethnomusicology Student, Teaching Assistant

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  1. The funny part is I had fellow musicians call “marrying my craft” sad, even though they’re dedicating themselves to their music as well. But yeah, I definitely see where it’s an artist thing in general. In recent years, I’ve been a bit more understanding of folks who have careers they aren’t passionate in, since it allows them the financial security to pursue their passions in more of an amateur way. I love what I do as a scholar/educator, but the combination of paltry pay and your work following you home for every waking moment during most the year, it gets tiring. I see my family
  2. I’m starting to think that my tendency to hide in a music practice room for 80% of my undergrad basically insulated me from the BS. Your story of the Spanish class does remind of me an awkward experience in back Business School though, as a brainstorming activity in one of the classes involved attempting to reinvent speed dating with a group, and the two of us who were queer-identified in one way or another were not comfortable outing ourselves to some dudebro cishet business students, so the whole exchange was hella awkward. I also used to say that music was the love of my life,
  3. I'm required to be proficient in two foreign languages for my PhD, so because I mostly am interesting in doing research in Cuba and Brazil, I'm learning Spanish and Portuguese. For now, I'm doubling down on my Spanish, and then when I'm more comfortable with that, I'll start giving Portuguese some attention. Definitely nervous about getting it all done fast enough, but I at least have no shortage of Spanish speakers I can practice with.
  4. I think it's more of an anime romance trope, but I can't stand the trope of "these people are in love; they just haven't noticed yet or are otherwise oblivious to their own feelings." (Think Ouran High School Host Club.) That trope threw off my questioning for years, and I wouldn't be shocked if it was reinforcing my need to constantly reassess if my platonic bonds are, in fact, 100% platonic. (Doesn't help when the rest of the world makes assumptions about your closer friendships either.)
  5. Drawing from some of my current experiences: don't let others claim to know more about your feelings than you do. The strength of a bond does not dictate the type, and I found that my best platonic bonds have come from situations where both myself and my friend could 100% mutually trust that the bond wasn't romantic.
  6. I think I actually made peace with my orientations before I knew what they were. After I broke up with my final ex (who is now one of my dearest friends), I remember having to really look inward and contemplate why our relationship didn't work. Turns out that even when I care deeply for someone, there is nothing unique to a romantic relationship that I can't get out of a friendship (or as I'm now aware, a platonic partnership). I also thought about my habit of dating people simply to avoid 'friendzoning' them, as from what I've seen, a simple rejection is a far better alternative than having s
  7. Gender can be such an abstract concept, and I think everyone's approaches to defining their gender varies a bit. I spent 4+ years very intensely questioning my gender before I came out to myself. I took a very prescriptive approach to defining my gender. I knew that transition would improve my quality of life, and what I wanted out of transition was ultimately very binary. My gender really ties to my relationship with my primary/secondary sex characteristics. My body was not designed to function with estrogen dominating its system, which made its impact on my emotions a
  8. I think QPRs already occupy such a strange and unpredictable space that there's no real standard for what's expected within a QPR, and I can see where some things could just resemble romance too much for comfort. Honestly, I have zero interest in kissing, and I could see that creating romance repulsion for myself as well, so I imagine there's others who resonate with your words. I'm slowly discovering a growing desire for platonic touch, but I feel like I need lived experience to know what kinds of touch are still at risk of registering as romantic even if the intent is platonic. O
  9. 1) What would be a suitable animal mascot for your romantic orientation? (Maybe look through emojis for ideas?) If you want a throwback, the old website AroPlane used an Aardvark as their mascot, so there's some precedence there https://web.archive.org/web/20141027025609/http://aroplane.org:80/ 2) Would you use 'heartbroken' to describe an aromantic going through relationship related grief? I would and have. The worst heartbreak I've experienced came from being forced to emotionally cut myself off from a dying friendship. 3) Would you describe a QTR more of a modified
  10. We definitely sound like we're on the same page about all this stuff, and I just wanted to say congrats about your upcoming surgery! I'm looking to have SRS myself within the next 1~1.5 years, (basically before I turn 26 and get booted off my family's insurance,) though I'm still figuring out some of the logistical things. I hope everything goes smoothly!
  11. Can't really say I ever had much interest in shipping. I'm fine with canon romance so long as someone bothers to make the dynamic between the characters interesting rather than painfully generic. That said, I have peers who apparently ship platonic bonds, and one of them declared my friend and I her "BrOTP," which is actually something I find quite amusing. I'm aro/ace and my friend strictly straight, so I appreciate when others recognize that this dear friendship of mine is strictly platonic. Too many people ask me if I'm gay when I get sentimental about my male friendships >.&
  12. That's part of the joys of smaller forums; with a smaller userbase, there's only so many new pieces of content for the regulars to post in, so the regulars stop posting quite so much, with new regulars only coming in very rarely. I spent quite some time watching low-activity aromanticism forums over the years, and I especially remember keeping AroPlane basically on life support by personally responding to every single post as soon as I saw them. Being an admod meant that I watched AroPlane and the original Arocalypse (that belonged to a different domain owner) pretty closely when
  13. @shotinthehand, gonna be honest, your post sounds like something that should be a thread in its own right, not a copy/pasted comment on 15+ threads that are only tangentially related to your project. As someone doing a visibility project of sorts myself (specifically giving transgender musicians a voice using ethnomusicological approaches), I see the good in what you're aiming to do, and I want to see you find the participants you're looking for. I just think you risk putting a bad taste in people's mouths with this approach because it makes your message look like spam. I'm honestl
  14. I'm a binary transman, so while my perspective is a bit different, I do relate to a lot of what you're saying, even if I treat my orientations and gender as fairly separate entities, in the sense that I think I would have been aro/ace regardless of my gender identity. My gender-questioning process couldn't properly start until I figured out my romantic/sexual orientation. Before university, My disinterest in sex come off as a form of female straightness, because so many of the men were sex-obsessed, and how could I be a man if I didn't want sex? I yearned for romantic love, and eve
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