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Holmbo

Lets try to create aro culture

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In another post there is a discussion about how difficult it is to identify other aros and it got me thinking that we should try to come up with some cultural things that could be give aways. Like if we can identify some music or movies etc that many aros like and then spead it around to as many aros as possible that this we have taken this to be part of our culture. So if you for example list a lot of the aro culture stuff on your facebook profile it's a way to easier let other aros identify you.
Of course this only works for the aro who are somewhat aware of the aro community, or even that they are aromantic in the first place. But maybe there are common threads even to people who don't realize they are aro?

So lets start each listing some stuff that we like and see if we can find any common ground :D
It should probably either be very well known things or something with a clear aro theme.

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7 hours ago, Holmbo said:

It should probably either be very well known things or something with a clear aro theme.

 

Trouble is, I'm really struggling to think of anything from popular culture with "a clear aro theme" :/

 

About the closest I can get to an explicit acknowledgement of aromanticism in popular culture is the Barney Stinson character in How I Met Your Mother, where at the end of the show he says something like "if it didn't work out with Robin then it's not going to work out with anyone" (the "it" here being the traditional long-term, monogamous romantic-sexual relationship).

 

There are some pros and cons to this example:

 

Pros: 

  • The character is not portrayed as uncaring or incapable of feeling love - he cares about his frends and family and is portrayed (right at the end of the show) as being a good dad.
  • The character is not portrayed as a loser (in fact, he's awesome and legendary :D )

 

Cons:

  • The character doesn't help at all to dispel the stereotype that aro-sexuals are all 'players' who regard their sexual partners as largely disposable
  • The character isn't taken very serisouly - he's pretty much one-dimensional comic-relief when compared to the desparately important existential struggles of the (very) romantic Ted Moansby (lol) and his quest for "the one" (oh my God, Ted is such a whiny, irratating character - at least to my delicate aro sensibilities xD )
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Aro/ace Sherlock is always a popular one, if you can fend off the Johnlock shippers and everyone who completely misinterprets the whole Irene Adler thing.

 

I think there are a few songs by Marina and the Diamonds ("Oh No!" and "I Am Not A Robot" come to mind) that have been used in so many ace/aro playlists that they're basically part of a subset of aro culture already? This might just be the part of the Internet I hang out in, though.

 

Homestuck has basically the closest thing to good representation of QPRs (moirallegiances) we've ever gotten in something as popular as it is, and also three canon aro characters (Jake English, Caliborn, and Calliope, though Caliborn is not good representation by any means).

 

...sorry, most of my pop culture knowledge comes from being quasi-Tumblr trash (despite not actually having a Tumblr), so that's probably a bias that needs to be addressed if we're going to make this a thing, so as to avoid the stereotype that aromanticism is just an Internet label that Real People don't use.

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@Dodecahedron314 It does seem to me like the vast majority of the stuff on the internet (and within pop-culture in general - e.g the examples you mention, I think?) is by/for aro-ace people rather than aro-sexuals (which is not meant as a criticism of aro-ace people - just as an observation that aro-sexuals tend to be under-represented compared to them).

 

If you type 'aromanticism' into youtube, for instance, a dozen or so videos come up - all made be aro-ace people. I'm not aware of any such videos by aro-sexual people discussing their experiences... (the best I can say here is that a few of the aro-ace made videos do at least mention that aro-sexuals exist - given that romantic and sexual orientations are in principle independent of one another).

 

When I said earlier that I'm really struggling to think of anything from popular culture with "a clear aro theme" I guess I should have specified aro-sexual theme instead. As that's what would be most relevant to me and my experiences - and what i feel is currently missing.

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@NullVector ah, I see. Being aroace myself, that would be another way in which my perspective is limited and others are necessary to get the whole picture.

 

Re: the examples I picked, one of the characters I listed (Jake) is aro and bisexual, but everything else I've found is aroace stuff. Though there is one webcomic I've found, Ignition Zero, with a canon aro heterosexual side character, but it's not really addressed until quite late in the comic and two of the main characters are in a romantic relationship so it's not really all that aro of a story (though it is the only thing I've ever found to explicitly use the term "queerplatonic relationship", so there is that).

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2 hours ago, Dodecahedron314 said:

Aro/ace Sherlock is always a popular one, if you can fend off the Johnlock shippers and everyone who completely misinterprets the whole Irene Adler thing.

 

I think there are a few songs by Marina and the Diamonds ("Oh No!" and "I Am Not A Robot" come to mind) that have been used in so many ace/aro playlists that they're basically part of a subset of aro culture already? This might just be the part of the Internet I hang out in, though.

IMHO a part of the problem is that most of the few examples which can be found are aro & ace.
Probably also stretching the definition of "popular" culture.
 

58 minutes ago, NullVector said:

If you type 'aromanticism' into youtube, for instance, a dozen or so videos come up - all made be aro-ace people. I'm not aware of any such videos by aro-sexual people discussing their experiences... (the best I can say here is that a few of the aro-ace made videos do at least mention that aro-sexuals exist - given that romantic and sexual orientations are in principle independent of one another).

IME these can be more about being ace than aro. With any mention of aros who are not asexual being a "By The Way" type of footnote.
Personally I can find many of the experiences of aro aces difficult to relate to.

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On 5/14/2017 at 1:44 PM, Dodecahedron314 said:

...sorry, most of my pop culture knowledge comes from being quasi-Tumblr trash (despite not actually having a Tumblr), so that's probably a bias that needs to be addressed if we're going to make this a thing, so as to avoid the stereotype that aromanticism is just an Internet label that Real People don't use.

 

Although some of the stuff on here is pretty amusing: https://arohumor.tumblr.com/ xD 

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I'm sorry, but only clear thing what I can got in my mind is Bob Dylan's "All I Really Want To Do" X3

 

"All I really wanna do

is baby be friends with you!"

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So, down the road, when aros recognize each other by secret signs, what happens to an aro who doesn't know these secret signs? Do they get told "No, you're not aro" and excluded from aro culture? Given what human nature is, I very much foresee that happening.

 

What I wouldn't mind is something like the asexuals' black ring on the middle finger. It's a subtle communication to people who know what it means, and to everyone else it's just jewellery.

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7 minutes ago, Just like Jughead said:

Why would we need to recognize another aro on sight? It's not like it would turn into anything. 

 

It's true that aromantics are diverse enough that there's no guarantee you'd have anything in common with another aro or even get along with them, but at least they'd understand first-hand what being aro is like, so there would be an immediate level of comfort with them, however far that went or didn't go.

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On 2017-06-01 at 6:22 PM, One-Eyed Jack said:

So, down the road, when aros recognize each other by secret signs, what happens to an aro who doesn't know these secret signs? Do they get told "No, you're not aro" and excluded from aro culture? Given what human nature is, I very much foresee that happening.

 

What I wouldn't mind is something like the asexuals' black ring on the middle finger. It's a subtle communication to people who know what it means, and to everyone else it's just jewellery.

 

It's not like a club membership. I was mostly thinking about ways to leave more signs of our aro-ness in the world without having to explicitly tell people or wear "I'm aro" t-shirts. Though maybe just wearing green black and white all the time could be useful :D
I don't like wearing rings but some people probably would.

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Can someone please write a good Aro/Platonic Lord of the Rings Fanfic please? Thanks :P

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2 hours ago, SamwiseLovesLife said:

Can someone please write a good Aro/Platonic Lord of the Rings Fanfic please? Thanks :P

All I can think of is Gimli and Legolas killing orcs and counting...

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12 minutes ago, BionicPi said:

All I can think of is Gimli and Legolas killing orcs and counting...

Well, by all rights all of LOTR is platonic except for Aragorn/Arwen, Eowyn/Farimir, Galadriel/Celeborn

 

But some squish/QPR fanfics would be way cool :D

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Hey so this is a little off topic but I didn't know where to put this, but I started an aromantic pride account on Instagram! I was looking for aro pride accounts but I couldn't find any so I decided to start one! I just started it so it has little posts and followers and I figured you guys could help with that, I'm looking for admins as well so you can DM me to become one the account name is aromanticz_unite, thanks!

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On 2017-6-5 at 5:15 AM, One-Eyed Jack said:

 

It's true that aromantics are diverse enough that there's no guarantee you'd have anything in common with another aro or even get along with them, but at least they'd understand first-hand what being aro is like, so there would be an immediate level of comfort with them, however far that went or didn't go.

 

I can definitely identify with this - the main reason I joined arocalypse was because I was getting fed up with my allo friends and wanted to find some aro ones. 

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