So how long did it take for you guys to be sure?

[HelloThere]

So I recently checked how long it’s been since I found myself out and I realized that it was only two months. I feel like I seriously rushed figuring myself out in some way, I mean of course I’m always trying to be sure but it feels in a way like I just jumped into being sure about this in a way. I mean I’m not gonna come out or anything until WAY later, but I feel like I definitely started identifying as aroace really early on. I obsessed over that part of myself really early on and just felt like I’m rushing through that, so when did you guys figure yourselves out and how long did it take for you to be sure?

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

I was sure as soon as I figured it out, but to be fair... I mean, I've told this story a hundred times, but I didn't realize it was possible for me to be aro until I was a fair bit older because aromanticism had only ever been described to me as a type of asexuality. Once I realized it was possible to be aromantic and not asexual, I was finally able to understand and explain the way I'd felt for years. I was about 17 or 18 at the time.

[HelloThere]

1 minute ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

I was sure as soon as I figured it out, but to be fair... I mean, I've told this story a hundred times, but I didn't realize it was possible for me to be aro until I was a fair bit older because aromanticism had only ever been described to me as a type of asexuality. Once I realized it was possible to be aromantic and not asexual, I was finally able to understand and explain the way I'd felt for years. I was about 17 or 18 at the time.

Well I guess in that area I’m glad I came to places like this. I’ve learned so much in a short amount of time. I’ve learned the differences between romantic and sexual identity, I learned a pretty big amount about different sexualities and romantic identities, and so much more all in the course of two months. Probably wasn’t a healthy idea to obsess about this but it was nagging at me for a while the moment the possibility was introduced. I mean I’ll still definitely give stuff time but I’m kinda glad I figured this out so quickly.

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

I'm still quite young, as you know, with me being 19, but with what I've experienced in life so far and the things I've felt, and done, because of what I did feel or lack thereof, I am as certain about as much as I can be; and identifying as aro has helped me describe my experiences currently. A part of me feels as though I'll keep identifying as aro, despite how I feel emotionally and strongly towards others may and could change, if they even do. But, certain things about myself I now know as a fact, and so makes me generally certain of my identification as aromantic in the present: I haven't had what I would've called a crush before, in over 5 years, and this feels more of like a lessening than a break from romantic attraction that maybe some alloromantics go through; what I labeled as "crushes" I had to mull over and dig and find and compare that they were not as romantic as I thought they were, and I had to reconcile with that and accept them for the emotional/alterous attraction that they most definitely could've been; I never once felt the genuine true desire to go out of my way to form a romantic relationship with anyone I felt strongly, emotionally for; finally, the thought of being committed with someone or a group of people (romantically or queerplatonically) doesn't sit right with me, and doesn't feel like it's necessary nor ideal for my own personal happiness.

All of this I've accumulated over my time as identifying and just... being aromantic, and is what made me sure of myself. I do go through my doubts, frustrations, the occasional fears, but that's nothing new for me. My journey of finding out I'm non-binary was so full of doubting and fears of "faking it" and internalized transphobia, that it all feels so petty now, despite all of those thoughts being very concerning for my mental health and nonetheless serious. These thoughts may never truly go away, but they get easier. I couldn't say how someone can truly get to the point that they're very certain, I'm lost on that as well. I do know what it's like to feel like you're "rushing" it, believe me, that was the same feeling I had with my discovering of my sexuality and gender; but you're never truly "rushing" it, if you're eager to explore, to have conversations, and learn from such a diverse community with many in the same boat as you, or in a boat next to you at least.

I also don't plan on coming out anytime soon, as well. But, as far as I know about my aro identity, I can say - based on who I am right now - I'm sure.

[HelloThere]

13 minutes ago, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

I'm still quite young, as you know, with me being 19, but with what I've experienced in life so far and the things I've felt, and done, because of what I did feel or lack thereof, I am as certain about as much as I can be; and identifying as aro has helped me describe my experiences currently. A part of me feels as though I'll keep identifying as aro, despite how I feel emotionally and strongly towards others may and could change, if they even do. But, certain things about myself I now know as a fact, and so makes me generally certain of my identification as aromantic in the present: I haven't had what I would've called a crush before, in over 5 years, and this feels more of like a lessening than a break from romantic attraction that maybe some alloromantics go through; what I labeled as "crushes" I had to mull over and dig and find and compare that they were not as romantic as I thought they were, and I had to reconcile with that and accept them for the emotional/alterous attraction that they most definitely could've been; I never once felt the genuine true desire to go out of my way to form a romantic relationship with anyone I felt strongly, emotionally for; finally, the thought of being committed with someone or a group of people (romantically or queerplatonically) doesn't sit right with me, and doesn't feel like it's necessary nor ideal for my own personal happiness.

All of this I've accumulated over my time as identifying and just... being aromantic, and is what made me sure of myself. I do go through my doubts, frustrations, the occasional fears, but that's nothing new for me. My journey of finding out I'm non-binary was so full of doubting and fears of "faking it" and internalized transphobia, that it all feels so petty now, despite all of those thoughts being very concerning for my mental health and nonetheless serious. These thoughts may never truly go away, but they get easier. I couldn't say how someone can truly get to the point that they're very certain, I'm lost on that as well. I do know what it's like to feel like you're "rushing" it, believe me, that was the same feeling I had with my discovering of my sexuality and gender; but you're never truly "rushing" it, if you're eager to explore, to have conversations, and learn from such a diverse community with many in the same boat as you, or in a boat next to you at least.

I also don't plan on coming out anytime soon, as well. But, as far as I know about my aro identity, I can say - based on who I am right now - I'm sure.

I can say I’ve definitely never had a crush and I genuinely feel happier about my relationships with people by viewing them as platonic. Like I’ve legitimately been more comfortable and enjoyed their presence more when I know there’s absolutely no chance of that working, hence my sort of love for talking with this one person at church who I know will never love me that way at all because well, wrong gender for her to like. XD

I guess one of the main reasons I sorta feel like a rushed into things is because my heart just leaped when it came to the possibility that I was aroace. I would love to never date and just have friends, and so far the proof has been staring me in the face for so incredibly long that I’m amazed it wasn’t obvious. I mean I came here and wondered if that was possible, and I found that I was definitely more right than I thought. I never had much experience in the whole area of romance (thanks romance blindness) but the moment I realized this wasn’t normal I looked as much as possible into my opinions and views on it, and generally I’m more neutral to it in public I just prefer everything else over it. I once heard from people that it was always like super hard for them to talk to girls but I just never saw that as difficult, I just saw a person that seemed to look different but generally just saw all genders equally. I mean I had friends that were girls and was honestly disgusted by the thought that id have a crush on them for just being friends.
 

Overall I think that like 90% of all past thoughts that I was straight just came from feeling libido and having platonic and aesthetic attraction on a relatively weak level. (Though libido was always very prevalent in my childhood but somehow never once veered towards the absolutely disgusting thought of sex. That should have made me realize I was ace earlier).
 

I guess that my fears just stem from hearing people talk about how it took them years to really understand the community or even consider that to be something they could associate with. Whereas I was just here figuring crap out left and right because I’m often way too obsessive on this topic to ignore it.

I managed to skip right to the figuring myself out without any suspicion of being bi or trying to force myself to have a crush. There was never a need for that and the whole idea of romance was just generally boring with no pressure to do anything like that at all. Though at the same time that probably took away a lot of time that I could’ve spent trying to be sure of myself but I guess I may have have found the end result really fricking fast. XD

Edited June 16, 2023 by HelloThere

[A User]

im younger than most of yall and honestly it was quick between learning the terms and then applying them to myself. barely questioned bc id felt like this for a supremely long time

[HelloThere]

Just now, A User said:

im younger than most of yall and honestly it was quick between learning the terms and then applying them to myself. barely questioned bc id felt like this for a supremely long time

Tbh that sounds fair, the main thing holding my surety back was my lack of experience, which generally doesn’t matter much as long as the attraction has obviously shown not to be there. But yeah that’s kinda how I felt. The more experiences from others I’ve heard about, the more sure I became. Then when I really thought about stuff, I kinda just preferred not to be in a relationship, I want emotional connection with people but more in a platonic fashion or perhaps familial bonds in a way.

[illumi]

not very long. i never doubt myself feeling wise

[AroAcedragon15]

i was sure i'd say 4 months or so after figuring myself out since that was the first time i came out. I've had it figured out for a year and 16 days. I applied the labels to myself quickly becuse it felt right. To be fair i figured it out at 13 and literally everyone i knew had a crush and i never wanted any part of it.

[Picklethewickle]

I already had my feelings about sex and romance figured out before I knew the words asexual or aromantic. It's hard to look back now and find a point where I worked it out and made a decision, I simply was always uninterested and averse to such things, and I knew my feelings were right.

When it comes to being non-binary, on the other hand, I'm still insecure. I've always felt this way, so I could say I've known since I was six. At the same time, I didn't figure out that everyone doesn't feel this way until I was thirty. It took me a bit to process that some people only have one gender, and it's the one they were named at birth, and it doesn't ever change even a little tiny bit. Part of my insecurity is that while I do have gender vibes, I don't have strong feelings. I judge myself that I should have more intense experiences to be legitimate. Also, sometimes my gender changes frequently, and sometimes it stays the same for a long period. The times when my sense of gender stays the same as my AGAB for a long period, I start to wonder if I was wrong about being non-binary. Then one day my gender shifts again, and I start the figuring-out process all over.

[SwiftySpeedy]

I learned about it probably the youngest out of everyone (at 12) and I'm surprised I didn't have that much questioning. So around 2022, I wound up seeing Jaiden's video about coming out and the moment I saw that I felt something click in my head as the experiences she described instantly related. From fake crushes to everything else. I also didn't have a coming out phase as my parents just kind of knew from me telling them some things about it.

[HelloThere]

52 minutes ago, SwiftySpeedy said:

I learned about it probably the youngest out of everyone (at 12) and I'm surprised I didn't have that much questioning. So around 2022, I wound up seeing Jaiden's video about coming out and the moment I saw that I felt something click in my head as the experiences she described instantly related. From fake crushes to everything else. I also didn't have a coming out phase as my parents just kind of knew from me telling them some things about it.

The thing is that I've tried to tell my parents all my fricking life and they just look at me like: 

I'm honestly just super over them being like "Oh YoU lIkE tHiS gIrL" because I have friends that are girls. I literally don't care about the gender of a person, I just want to talk to people and play video games with other extroverts. XD

[SwiftySpeedy]

25 minutes ago, HelloThere said:

The thing is that I've tried to tell my parents all my fricking life and they just look at me like: 

I honestly feel like you should tell them straight up.

Number one since you are 15 there's much less of "you are too young" or "you haven't just found the right person yet" Also it allows your parents to know you are much more mature, and by how it seems they might not be accepting at first and they probably will go through the stages of grief. From Denial (which is where your too young and the right person thing probably came from) to anger as they realize they won't have grandchildren or depression (<- Probably not but something similar) all the way to acceptance. And if there upset still you can at least know that there your family and they have to accept who you are (even if they don't want to). Also if there upset or seem to dismiss it just ignore the bad feelings that come with that, even if it seems like they don't care about what you are, and to continue from that point do what I myself do best, keep nagging and nagging and nagging until they realize that this is who you are and they can't just keep ignoring it and acting like you're going to fall in love. So I would recommend doing that if you want them to stop shoving love and romance in your face and be able to come out.

[Eliott]

I found out in like 5th grade when my friends in the groupchat were talking about like lgbt stuff and one of them was taling abt being aroace so i looked it up and boom, that was me. Ig i should have figured something out cause i never had crushes and only now am realizing that this one kid in like 2nd grade had a crush on me tho i was oblivious at the time lol. i always thought that no one actually felt these things bcuz when i heard songs abt romance it sounded so fake yk like "my special someone" or whateber. i still find it outrageous that people were dating in 6th grade at my school like thats crazy and yk just gross or whatever

Oh and my parents dont rlly care theyre supportive and my friends are like all lgbt i prob have like 1 straight cis friend

[HelloThere]

2 minutes ago, SwiftySpeedy said:

I honestly feel like you should tell them straight up.

Number one since you are 15 there's much less of "you are too young" or "you haven't just found the right person yet" Also it allows your parents to know you are much more mature, and by how it seems they might not be accepting at first and they probably will go through the stages of grief. From Denial (which is where your too young and the right person thing probably came from) to anger as they realize they won't have grandchildren or depression (<- Probably not but something similar) all the way to acceptance. And if there upset still you can at least know that there your family and they have to accept who you are (even if they don't want to). Also if there upset or seem to dismiss it just ignore the bad feelings that come with that, even if it seems like they don't care about what you are, and to continue from that point do what I myself do best, keep nagging and nagging and nagging until they realize that this is who you are and they can't just keep ignoring it and acting like you're going to fall in love. So I would recommend doing that if you want them to stop shoving love and romance in your face and be able to come out.

I mean I definitely want to do so and almost every piece of proof is on the table but I need time to be sure if I feel anything towards people before I even think about doing that. I still need time and generally I’m gonna try to keep all the talk about romance and the lgbtq+ community quiet. I mean yes I should definitely talk about that with them at some point but I really can’t yet. I mean all the proof is there but right now what I need to work through is self doubt. I can’t just come out after only 2 months, most everyone spends years trying to be sure about this and I’ve only been learning for 59 days now. I will but right now I’m going to just enjoy summer, connect all the dots, and try to really be sure while trying to figure out the possible arguments that could be made against this and countering it.

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

17 hours ago, HelloThere said:

I guess that my fears just stem from hearing people talk about how it took them years to really understand the community or even consider that to be something they could associate with. Whereas I was just here figuring crap out left and right because I’m often way too obsessive on this topic to ignore it.

I managed to skip right to the figuring myself out without any suspicion of being bi or trying to force myself to have a crush. There was never a need for that and the whole idea of romance was just generally boring with no pressure to do anything like that at all. Though at the same time that probably took away a lot of time that I could’ve spent trying to be sure of myself but I guess I may have have found the end result really fricking fast. XD

Your experience of figuring yourself out is valid, and you don't need to have gone through the same experiences as another person. I know it feels like you "did it wrong" because there's common stories in the aspec community of them slowly coming to terms with themselves and maybe identifying as something else for a long time till they figured out they're aspec, whether or not the label they identified as before still applies. Many people had gone through the slow process of finding themselves because they either didn't have access to finding these resources, or even if they did, the aspec community is one of the last few communities one typically learns about in the queer community. There are people who figure out that they're aspec, but don't feel like it's a huge part of their life as well. You don't need to have gone through with what some other aspecs have, with faking crushes or trying to feel sexual attraction, or going out of your way to do things out of your comfort zone to try to feel those things. You also grew up in an environment where romance wasn't a pressure put onto you. It's okay that you figured things out and felt a connection to the aspec community rather quickly, because regardless, the community speaks to you in a way that resonates with your experiences and what you want in life.

Also I've had no experience in romantic relationships, really only had one one QPR that mutually broke off, and had recently started identifying as aro myself, so you're not alone.

Edited June 16, 2023 by The Newest Fabled Creature

[HelloThere]

27 minutes ago, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

Your experience of figuring yourself out is valid, and you don't need to have gone through the same experiences as another person. I know it feels like you "did it wrong" because there's common stories in the aspec community of them slowly coming to terms with themselves and maybe identifying as something else for a long time till they figured out they're aspec, whether or not the label they identified as before still applies. Many people had gone through the slow process of finding themselves because they either didn't have access to finding these resources, or even if they did, the aspec community is one of the last few communities one typically learns about in the queer community. There are people who figure out that they're aspec, but don't feel like it's a huge part of their life as well. You don't need to have gone through with what some other aspecs have, with faking crushes or trying to feel sexual attraction, or going out of your way to do things out of your comfort zone to try to feel those things. You also grew up in an environment where romance wasn't a pressure put onto you. It's okay that you figured things out and felt a connection to the aspec community rather quickly, because regardless, the community speaks to you in a way that resonates with your experiences and what you want in life.

Also I've had no experience in romantic relationships, really only had one one QPR that mutually broke off, and had recently started identifying as aro myself, so you're not alone.

So I guess in a way a lot of the right crap happened all at once for me to figure this out? I mean the odds of all of this stuff being figured out so early probably weren't in my favor. You are probably right about that, it just suddenly became sort of all consuming in a way, I was just incredibly interested in the possibility of that, and that possibility may be a reality. I'd much rather just live my life, pursue a career, have friends, and grow up how I want. I just don't know how to do so, and I'm still trying to purge the societal expectation of marriage from my mind, I don't want that and honestly the idea doesn't exactly invigorate me. When I picture my future, I don't see myself in marriage but I see pictures of people marrying, it's sort of an unwanted part of the collage that is my visualization of the future. It's like an intrusive thought that I just want to go away. I don't like it, the overall focus of my life isn't even close to marriage, and I just generally find the idea to be boring. 

This felt like a huge part of me from the moment I realized it and I honestly still haven't been able to fully rid the fact I'm aroace from my mind. The whole community did almost immediately resonate with me and perfectly reflects what I want in life to begin with. I mean to be honest throughout my whole life there's been so little about romance and I strongly preferred it that way, then I realized all of this and then it's like my vision was suddenly fixed, I immediately recognized how much romance actually shows up in school, I suddenly got super scared that people were gonna be flirting with me at some point because now I'm not completely blind to that and I know that it just makes me feel uncomfortable or attacked. I mean in a way it feels like I sort of just discovered almost all of this in a very short period of time. At first that felt like a bad thing but I think I probably saved myself a lot of pain by figuring it all out so fast, I even went directly to the source of things by googling the whole fricking spectrum. XD

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

31 minutes ago, HelloThere said:

So I guess in a way a lot of the right crap happened all at once for me to figure this out? I mean the odds of all of this stuff being figured out so early probably weren't in my favor. You are probably right about that, it just suddenly became sort of all consuming in a way, I was just incredibly interested in the possibility of that, and that possibility may be a reality. I'd much rather just live my life, pursue a career, have friends, and grow up how I want. I just don't know how to do so, and I'm still trying to purge the societal expectation of marriage from my mind, I don't want that and honestly the idea doesn't exactly invigorate me. When I picture my future, I don't see myself in marriage but I see pictures of people marrying, it's sort of an unwanted part of the collage that is my visualization of the future. It's like an intrusive thought that I just want to go away. I don't like it, the overall focus of my life isn't even close to marriage, and I just generally find the idea to be boring. 

This felt like a huge part of me from the moment I realized it and I honestly still haven't been able to fully rid the fact I'm aroace from my mind. The whole community did almost immediately resonate with me and perfectly reflects what I want in life to begin with. I mean to be honest throughout my whole life there's been so little about romance and I strongly preferred it that way, then I realized all of this and then it's like my vision was suddenly fixed, I immediately recognized how much romance actually shows up in school, I suddenly got super scared that people were gonna be flirting with me at some point because now I'm not completely blind to that and I know that it just makes me feel uncomfortable or attacked. I mean in a way it feels like I sort of just discovered almost all of this in a very short period of time. At first that felt like a bad thing but I think I probably saved myself a lot of pain by figuring it all out so fast, I even went directly to the source of things by googling the whole fricking spectrum. XD

I understand your visualization of your future, I'm the same way. I don't personally want to be married or have a partner to begin with, though I can see marriages happening with other people I know. Sometimes, I would get this intrusive thought of seeing myself getting married, but despite sometimes seeing that and letting myself sit with those images for a while, I don't feel like it calls to me and I generally ain't interested. There are times, for me at least, I would start getting those thoughts and visuals whenever I would start feeling bad about not having a partner to appear like I'm "fine" to my family; but after having a recent conversation where I told my mom that I generally feel like I don't need a partner, and she reacted okay with that because she understands in her own way, I feel like maybe these thoughts won't happen as much.

And I started seeing the influx of how heavily saturated things are in romance and in being defaulted as alloromantic, really fast too. I like romance sure, but I do have this pit form in my stomach when I see nothing but commercials/ads about couples doing things or going to places, having a family with a partner, etc, and most of that is because of the allonormative and amatonormative beliefs society generally has. I'm glad you were able to reach and explore this community and finding comfort-ability in identifying in the aspec community earlier on, because it shouldn't matter really what age you are to feel and know a community resonates with you and to know your own experiences so far.

[HelloThere]

53 minutes ago, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

I understand your visualization of your future, I'm the same way. I don't personally want to be married or have a partner to begin with, though I can see marriages happening with other people I know. Sometimes, I would get this intrusive thought of seeing myself getting married, but despite sometimes seeing that and letting myself sit with those images for a while, I don't feel like it calls to me and I generally ain't interested. There are times, for me at least, I would start getting those thoughts and visuals whenever I would start feeling bad about not having a partner to appear like I'm "fine" to my family; but after having a recent conversation where I told my mom that I generally feel like I don't need a partner, and she reacted okay with that because she understands in her own way, I feel like maybe these thoughts won't happen as much.

And I started seeing the influx of how heavily saturated things are in romance and in being defaulted as alloromantic, really fast too. I like romance sure, but I do have this pit form in my stomach when I see nothing but commercials/ads about couples doing things or going to places, having a family with a partner, etc, and most of that is because of the allonormative and amatonormative beliefs society generally has. I'm glad you were able to reach and explore this community and finding comfort-ability in identifying in the aspec community earlier on, because it shouldn't matter really what age you are to feel and know a community resonates with you and to know your own experiences so far.

Generally I do view dating or marriage as something for me to try to avoid, and I’d like to keep it that way because it just doesn’t look… pleasant. I mean seeing a bunch of lovestruck children ogling over people just makes me see that person as generally rather more weak for it. I don’t really get a “pit” in my stomach whenever I see that so much, I just get bored or annoyed and generally view it as almost satirical. Like seeing that in movies or shows just often feels like a necessary thing that I wish wasn’t necessary in film. It’s just so… pointless. Like whenever I remark about a good show or movie almost everyone focuses on the characters shipping and being “CuTe CoUpLeS” but tbh the only thing I see is two people who kiss and obsess about one another far too much. Like I often tended to advocate for relationships failing in movies and the characters just focusing on the actual plot. Yes I definitely find that crap tolerable most of the time but it just gets really annoying and boring after seeing it for ages, I just want actual plot and I only ever seem to pay attention or care about gay characters because I just want to get more used to that in the media. I mean I’ve even contemplated looking for random, disgusting, and over-the-top romance movies just to see how much I can tolerate.

[alto]

It's been two years now and I'm still not 100% sure.  I'm 90% sure, though.  Or maybe even 99% sure.  It's just...I do see myself in a QPR someday.  I know that doesn't make me any less aromantic, but I know that people will interpret it as a romantic match...especially since I want my partner to be male.

[CanadianBird]

At first when I had heard about it, I didn't even consider myself being aro (and continued not to for years). Then I learned about aesthetic attraction and my world view shifted. I picked apart the grounds behind every love interest I had ever encountered and did some super deep soul-searching over the course of one weekend. I spent many, many hours reading the experiences of others to see if I felt a similar way or could relate, and I could. Learning that aromanticism was a spectrum, and that some aromantics loved love.

At the time though I was mildly depressed so even though I already had my answer I decided waited until I got out of it just to be sure. (I couldn't tell if I was aromantic or just lazy lol)

When I was at my fullest and happiest, I paused and asked myself if I would enjoy going out with someone. And guess what? The answer was no. That's when I knew and decided to officially identify as aromantic.

[HelloThere]

10 hours ago, cerimonials said:

At first when I had heard about it, I didn't even consider myself being aro (and continued not to for years). Then I learned about aesthetic attraction and my world view shifted. I picked apart the grounds behind every love interest I had ever encountered and did some super deep soul-searching over the course of one weekend. I spent many, many hours reading the experiences of others to see if I felt a similar way or could relate, and I could. Learning that aromanticism was a spectrum, and that some aromantics loved love.

At the time though I was mildly depressed so even though I already had my answer I decided waited until I got out of it just to be sure. (I couldn't tell if I was aromantic or just lazy lol)

When I was at my fullest and happiest, I paused and asked myself if I would enjoy going out with someone. And guess what? The answer was no. That's when I knew and decided to officially identify as aromantic.

Oh same here, I didn’t really have a wait time but when I found out, the soul searching was real. XD

I mean tbh right now I don’t fully understand what “going out with someone” would entail. I mean I know that it’s often like a restaurant where I generally have to pay as “chivalry” says, and that’s really about it. I know for a fact that if I went on a date, the conversation wouldn’t be about one another, it’d be about movie plot lines and politics. I’m not joking those are like the two topics that I can’t shut up about. XD

[CanadianBird]

1 hour ago, HelloThere said:

I know for a fact that if I went on a date, the conversation wouldn’t be about one another, it’d be about movie plot lines and politics. I’m not joking those are like the two topics that I can’t shut up about. XD

THANK YOU. Sorry, did you want to talk about jobs and pets while awkwardly stepping on eggshells? I was thinking that we could have a debate on whether we should part from the common wealth and analyze the significance of Wanda's character in the MCU. Also apple juice vs orange juice? Is that too much? 

Idk about everyone else but what better way to get to know a person than their view on a subject vs what they do/have? Again maybe this is just how I would try to recruit a friend over dinner XD

I always thought that if I was going to date someone they had better been a nerd and interested in some of the things I was otherwise romance and attraction would die out fast. Restaurant over dinner trying to get someone to like you (and vice versa) by saying things that seem 'normal' is tiring. The only great thing that comes out of it is a free meal

[HelloThere]

2 minutes ago, cerimonials said:

THANK YOU. Sorry, did you want to talk about jobs and pets while awkwardly stepping on eggshells? I was thinking that we could have a debate on whether we should part from the common wealth and analyze the significance of Wanda's character in the MCU. Also apple juice vs orange juice? Is that too much? 

Idk about everyone else but what better way to get to know a person than their view on a subject vs what they do/have? Again maybe this is just how I would try to recruit a friend over dinner XD

I always thought that if I was going to date someone they had better been a nerd and interested in some of the things I was otherwise romance and attraction would die out fast. Restaurant over dinner trying to get someone to like you (and vice versa) by saying things that seem 'normal' is tiring. The only great thing that comes out of it is a free meal

Oh yeah, my best friends have always been nerds and I'd honestly prefer to "date" them over anyone who's boring but looks nice, because I don't give a crap how that person looks, what gender they are, or what their race is, if they can't be a nerd and talk about crap with me in the friendliest way possible, I can't date this person. XD

And on that last part, absolutely I agree, however I'm gonna be the one that has to pay for "chivalry" which is really just some ancient persons way of saying "attempting not to be a chauvinist". Chivalry is stupid, equal treatment is goated, change my mind. Besides when I really think about my criteria for dating it's really just nerdy person who shares my interests, or literally no clue. Generally the nerds I talk to right now are both guys and girls so I just talk to whoever, drifting around, butting into random conversations and just talking to people. The thing is that I honestly only think I have a "crush" if I'm scared that it's a crush, but if I fully view that person as a platonic friend from the beginning then I immediately just feel better about being in that persons presence.

In all of my past I look back at "crushes" and see what they all had in common: I viewed them as friends, we talked a lot, and I worried that it might be a crush so that worry sorta was misinterpreted as a crush in my head. I generally stick to movies, youtubers, video games, and funny stories of the past in conversations, not "Oh So WhO dId YoU dATe BeFoRe?!" because that's boring, I don't really care, and I'm just here to get a dopamine rush from ogling over movies, youtubers, video games, and funny stories of the past. Holy crap I'm such an aro. XD

[Keith]

I realized I'm on the aromantic spectrum at the age of 13 (I think), however due to my amanormative mindset I didn't really want to accept it. It took me a while, like 3 months to fully comprehend that it's actually a part of me, and about another 4 to understand how it affects me. I still don't think I can say that I'm sure about it, probably because I'm never sure about anything, but it's what describes me the best at the moment.