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Allo Aros

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1 minute ago, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

Please stop with the toxic victimization, I get enough of that irl. Anyways, as was in our original conversation, I wasn't being rude. Was I trying to start a right because it was 1 in the morning and I was bored, yes. Was I emotionally committed enough to actually charge the words, no.

 

I've LITERALLY already explained to you why it's rude to compare queer folks (us allo aros) to cishets "wanting to be included". You came into OUR space- Admittedly, yes, a public thread, but still a thread made for allo aros, meaning it would be polite to respect that- And essentially called us cishets, and said that having terminology to describe ourselves (which, might I remind you, was created BY ASEXUALS) "seemed dumb". You REALLY don't think that's rude?

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Just now, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

 

I've LITERALLY already explained to you why it's rude to compare queer folks (us allo aros) to cishets "wanting to be included". You came into OUR space- Admittedly, yes, a public thread, but still a thread made for allo aros, meaning it would be polite to respect that- And essentially called us cishets, and said that having terminology to describe ourselves (which, might I remind you, was created BY ASEXUALS) "seemed dumb". You REALLY don't think that's rude?

Not particularly. And also, until recently, I didn't know allo was made by aces. Had I known that originally, I wouldn't have compared it to cishets. Side point, what is cis short for?

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Just now, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

Not particularly. And also, until recently, I didn't know allo was made by aces. Had I known that originally, I wouldn't have compared it to cishets. Side point, what is cis short for?

 

...You compared us to cishets without even knowing what cis means..? Dude.

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Just now, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

 

...You compared us to cishets without even knowing what cis means..? Dude.

I know what cis means. It's just very obvious it's short for something, in the same way that het is short for hetero. 

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Anyway, what’s up allo aros! How y’all doin today?

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18 minutes ago, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

I know what cis means. It's just very obvious it's short for something, in the same way that het is short for hetero. 

Cis means not trans* in any way. 

 

Cishet is cisgender heterosexual/romantic ie someone who doesnt in anyway belong to the gender and sexual minority community, except perhaps as an ally

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6 minutes ago, Sufletromanesc said:

Cis means not trans* in any way. 

 

Cishet is cisgender heterosexual/romantic ie someone who doesnt in anyway belong to the gender and sexual minority community, except perhaps as an ally

So cis is just cis, there isn't an extended version of it?

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11 hours ago, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

Personally, I feel like "allosexual" is a completely redundant umbrella term. From my understanding, allo is everything but asexuals. Which seems dumb to me. Why have a term for that. It's so freaking pointless and 8s just people who aren't ace wanting to feel included or whatever. Like cis heteros wanting their own pride parades. I was yelled at once because not using allo is discriminatory and making their experiences fake or whatever but using allo is singling aces out entirely and that is highly discriminatory.

I think you have missed a few things.

 

Allosexual = someone who experiences sexual attraction (includes heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals and pansexuals)

 

Alloromanitic = someone who experiences romantic attraction ie (heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromanitic, panromantic)

 

Yes you can be an allo romantic (any orientation) asexual so no allo is not something that is anti asexual.

 

We are not anti ace but we want our own community.

I respect asexuality but I want a community for aros by aros (aroaces welcome) 

3 minutes ago, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

So cis is just cis, there isn't an extended version of it?

Comfortable in self is an extended version.

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This is physically paining me here. @WrenIsNotMyRealName!! please just PM me any more questions you have and I'll answer them for you.

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Just now, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

Oooooh. It's an acronym. Wait, so does that mean fully transitioned people become cis?

Generally speaking no, but some prefer to identify as cis after full transition is complete. Each to thier own.

 

Please not this is going a bit off topic now

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Just now, Sufletromanesc said:

Generally speaking no, but some prefer to identify as cis after full transition is complete. Each to thier own.

 

Please not this is going a bit off topic now

How so? There's aromantic trans children.

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1 hour ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Anyway, what’s up allo aros! How y’all doin today?

Doing great. Transitioning to online classes because of the Coronavirus and trying to do some excercises to keep my black blood running.

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16 hours ago, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

Personally, I feel like "allosexual" is a completely redundant umbrella term. From my understanding, allo is everything but asexuals. Which seems dumb to me. Why have a term for that. It's so freaking pointless and 8s just people who aren't ace wanting to feel included or whatever. Like cis heteros wanting their own pride parades. I was yelled at once because not using allo is discriminatory and making their experiences fake or whatever but using allo is singling aces out entirely and that is highly discriminatory.

Well, technically my preference is ''bisexuality'' in terms of SEXuality, but people tends to lump sexual and romantic attraction together. This is why people tends to assume you must be also ace  if you are aromantic by default. Or that you are ''picky'' or [insert bad mental diagnosis here] if you don't like a romantic relationship while feeling sexual attraction towards people. 

Notice how the key is romanticism, not some sort of close affection. 

Yes, it's an umbrella term or label, but you see labels and terms everywhere, they are necessary sometimes and the existence of one doesn't delete the validation of the other.

Hot and cold, sun and Moon, one depends on the other. Where you see the gays, there are the heteros, the cis and the trans. No one is the enemy of the other, they are just different.

We just want to chill, dude.

Somehow we need to call ''human beings with sexual attraction'' so we can pair it with aro to distinguish it from mostly of sexual people that seek romantic relationships, because it's not by default.

16 hours ago, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

Personally, I feel like "allosexual" is a completely redundant umbrella term. From my understanding, allo is everything but asexuals. Which seems dumb to me. Why have a term for that. It's so freaking pointless and 8s just people who aren't ace wanting to feel included or whatever. Like cis heteros wanting their own pride parades. I was yelled at once because not using allo is discriminatory and making their experiences fake or whatever but using allo is singling aces out entirely and that is highly discriminatory.

Well, technically my preference is ''bisexuality'' in terms of SEXuality, but people tends to lump sexual and romantic attraction together. This is why people tends to assume you must be also ace  if you are aromantic by default. Or that you are ''picky'' or [insert bad mental diagnosis here] if you don't like a romantic relationship while feeling sexual attraction towards people. 

Notice how the key is romanticism, not some sort of close affection. 

Yes, it's an umbrella term or label, but you see labels and terms everywhere, they are necessary sometimes and the existence of one doesn't delete the validation of the other.

Hot and cold, sun and Moon, one depends on the other. Where you see the gays, there are the heteros, the cis and the trans. No one is the enemy of the other, they are just different.

We just want to chill, dude.

Somehow we need to call ''human beings with sexual attraction'' so we can pair it with aro to distinguish it from mostly of sexual people that seek romantic relationships, because it's not by default.

16 hours ago, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

Personally, I feel like "allosexual" is a completely redundant umbrella term. From my understanding, allo is everything but asexuals. Which seems dumb to me. Why have a term for that. It's so freaking pointless and 8s just people who aren't ace wanting to feel included or whatever. Like cis heteros wanting their own pride parades. I was yelled at once because not using allo is discriminatory and making their experiences fake or whatever but using allo is singling aces out entirely and that is highly discriminatory.

Well, technically my preference is ''bisexuality'' in terms of SEXuality, but people tends to lump sexual and romantic attraction together. This is why people tends to assume you must be also ace  if you are aromantic by default. Or that you are ''picky'' or [insert bad mental diagnosis here] if you don't like a romantic relationship while feeling sexual attraction towards people. 

Notice how the key is romanticism, not some sort of close affection. 

Yes, it's an umbrella term or label, but you see labels and terms everywhere, they are necessary sometimes and the existence of one doesn't delete the validation of the other.

Hot and cold, sun and Moon, one depends on the other. Where you see the gays, there are the heteros, the cis and the trans. No one is the enemy of the other, they are just different.

We just want to chill, dude. And about discrimination, I guess it depends on your sexuality? Like you can be hetero and aro or gay and aro, I suppose the discrimination of one is not the same of the other. But in the end the experience of some people doesn't invalidate yours. 

Somehow we need to call ''human beings with sexual attraction'' so we can pair it with aro to distinguish it from mostly of sexual people that seek romantic relationships, because it's not by default.

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On 3/14/2020 at 9:48 AM, nonmerci said:

Having a word for meaning "not asexual" is just normal to me and very useful.

Also using in avoiding the use of a double negative.

 

On 3/14/2020 at 11:30 AM, Sufletromanesc said:

I am convinced there are far many more Aro spec people out there but as romantic orientation is harder to decipher in many ways I'm convinced many "unaware arospecs" dont yet possess the vocabulary or understanding to even be introspective to recognise aro spec orientation in themselves. 

There' s also the issues of aro being, often, being seen as a subset of ace and the "right person" meme.

 

On 3/14/2020 at 11:30 AM, Sufletromanesc said:

That's where we come in. The more aro content online leads to more aros and more education of everyone else

There needs to be more diversity of aro content. Since aro ace content may be unhelpful to aro allos. Whilst at the same time, mistakenly, seen as "general aro".

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20 hours ago, Sufletromanesc said:

Comfortable in self is an extended version.

That would be an example of a backronym.
The word "cis" is a Latin prefix meaning "on this side of".
It's a, mutual, antonym with "trans". Which translates as "across from" or "on the other side of".

 

14 hours ago, Uxhio said:

but people tends to lump sexual and romantic attraction together. This is why people tends to assume you must be also ace  if you are aromantic by default.

The term for this is periorinted, which is a majority (~85%) situation.

Whilst the asexual community has had some success in challenging this assumption for asexual alloromantics nothing similar has happened for allosexual aromantics. (Nor for heterosexual homoromantics or homosexual heteroromantics who are also exclusively varioriented. Though there could be a lot of "overlapping varioriented" people who assume they are periorinted. e.g. heterosexual biromantics.)
 

14 hours ago, Uxhio said:

Or that you are ''picky'' or [insert bad mental diagnosis here] if you don't like a romantic relationship while feeling sexual attraction towards people. 

Possibly romance (including seeking romance) makes sex acceptable in sex negative societies.
When it comes to child acceptable, safe for work, consent, harassment, etc there are huge differences when it comes to social attitudes towards romance and sex.

 

14 hours ago, Uxhio said:

Notice how the key is romanticism, not some sort of close affection. 

I wonder if romance, rather than sex, is key in respect of amatonormativity.

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On 3/14/2020 at 4:34 PM, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

How so? There's aromantic trans children.

 

7 hours ago, Mark said:

That would be an example of a backronym.
The word "cis" is a Latin prefix meaning "on this side of".
It's a, mutual, antonym with "trans". Which translates as "across from" or "on the other side of".

 

The term for this is periorinted, which is a majority (~85%) situation.

Whilst the asexual community has had some success in challenging this assumption for asexual alloromantics nothing similar has happened for allosexual aromantics. (Nor for heterosexual homoromantics or homosexual heteroromantics who are also exclusively varioriented. Though there could be a lot of "overlapping varioriented" people who assume they are periorinted. e.g. heterosexual biromantics.)
 

Possibly romance (including seeking romance) makes sex acceptable in sex negative societies.
When it comes to child acceptable, safe for work, consent, harassment, etc there are huge differences when it comes to social attitudes towards romance and sex.

 

I wonder if romance, rather than sex, is key in respect of amatonormativity.

I thin with the varioriented question the answer is greater aromantic visibility. Slowly but surely were getting there but we still have a way to go to reach the same visibility that asexuality has and it will take some further steps to reach the same level of visibility the allo asexuals have. 

 

While I dont do pride marches anymore i think aro representation at some of the key pride marches could do wonders with putting aro identities out there from a visibility perspective.

 

I'd even be willing to go to one should an aro group be at a pride march even though in general prides arnt much my thing.

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I think what people get confused on with being allo-aro, is that is doesn't mean that we want meaningless sex, it means that we can look at someone and feel sexually attracted to their body. The definition of asexuality is not not wanting sex, it's not feeling sexual attraction. I know for me, as an allo-arospec person, I don't desire sex without a close relationship, so if I never form one, I don't really need sex. But that's just me. It's also totally okay to just want sex without a relationship! The idea that having sex with out love makes you dirty, or a slut, is harmful to so many people. The LGBTQIAP+ community is supposed to be an open place for all people who don't fit in with the "norms" of sexuality and gender. If we gatekeep, we don't just hurt the people we're keeping out, but we hurt the community, because the LGBTQ+ community is only strong if it's inclusive.

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