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What even is gender?


Pyr
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I'm not great at putting my thoughts into words, I hope this all makes sense to read! My wording also might not be perfect hhh

 

I've been thinking about this a lot too! Here are my thoughts on gender. Not sure if all of this is correct, but I'd like to know what you guys think! So here we go:

First of all, gender obviously isn't the body someone is born into; that's sex. 

Then, there are gender stereotypes/gender roles: women are expected to be soft, caring, pretty, etc., while on the other hand, men are expected to be aggressive, tough, and strategic. Women are supposed to modify their appearance and wear showy (and impractical) clothing to be attractive, while men are expected to look tough, with more simple, less revealing clothes.

But that's not gender either. Women can act and present masculine and vice versa. Many people (especially many trans people) bash these gender roles. So these ideas that only men have short hair, only women wear dresses and makeup, etc. don't define someone's gender. So, from this view, there isn't really difference between genders.

Another thing I've been considering is that in different parts of the world, gender roles were the same even though their culture developed completely differently. For example, around the world in ancient cultures, male people were often workers while female people raised their family and did less physical work. But this makes sense, because most men are physically stronger than women. 

I identify as a cis female but I have no idea why I do, and I'm really what's considered "feminine." I think I consider myself a girl because that's how I was raised, and that's what's most convenient for me. 

So, my point is: gender doesn't really exist

What do you all think? What's gender to you guys? And to the transgender people: How do you know you're transgender?

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I 100% agree that gender doesn't really exist as it's a construct. And for me, before really knowing that I was trans, I first learned about the term non-binary. I'd also experienced dysphoria through puberty, but I didn't know what it was back then. When I was younger, I knew that I wasn't a boy or a girl, but I was scared to question, so I tried my best to perform as my assigned gender. I wasn't really happy, and a video taught me about the term non-binary and after my very long repressed feelings, I decided to face my fears and around that time I also realized "Hmm...wait a damn moment...if I don't vibe with my assigned gender, then...then I'm trans...holy shit!". So yeah the reason I know that I'm trans is really cause I don't vibe with my assigned gender, as it just never felt right.

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Sooo. I recently began identifying as libragender/mostly agender. I believe that most people have this idea of "I'm an X" somewhere in their mind. Sometimes that idea doesn't align with your birth sex. I have some vague notion of being female, but 99% of the time I don't "feel" like anything gender-wise. My gender is a void with a teeny tiny nucleous of "girl" that I only rarely "feel".
It's not connected to being feminine or masculine for sure, since people can identify as a man and yet enjoy being feminine and someone can identify as a woman and yet enjoy being masculine, etc. But at the same time, being masculine or feminine can be affirming to someone's identity.

So yeah. I tend to think gender is just some weird designation in your mind.

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