Philbo Wiseroot Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Am I the only one who craves physical affections that aren't sexual or romantic (being aro/ace)? It seems I'm always wanting cuddles and hugs from people, but never get any. What do you like? Or what would your dream be? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juno Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I crave physical things like hugs and cuddling as well. I have some friends who like to be physical in this manor. I hug them hello and goodbye. Sometimes I cuddle with friends when I watch movie with them, or lean into them when we are sitting next to each other, but sometimes I feel bad initiating this. Even when a friend has told me that they love cuddling, I sometimes worry that if I ask if we can cuddle that they will reject me. Or that they will say yes, but only because they feel bad saying no. I don't see my friends very often either, as we have very different schedules, so my need for physical attention is rarely met. One time I went to my best friend's house, and we decided to watch animated batman movies. I asked if she wanted to cuddle and her response was: "Heck yes!,". That is my perfect relationship. Having someone to cuddle with while watching Batman. Why do I need a boyfriend when I can have that with my best friend? Last week I went swing dancing with my friend. It was really fun, and it fulfilled my craving for physical contact. I would definitely recommend it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassiopeia Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Absolutely. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philbo Wiseroot Posted July 18, 2016 Author Share Posted July 18, 2016 Just now, Cassiopeia said: Absolutely. Anything more specific? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassiopeia Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 35 minutes ago, Pufflehugs04 said: Anything more specific? Napping in piles, cuddling, hugs, back rubs, doing each others makeup or hair, stuff like that? I don't really like to dance with others (as in physical contact), it just feels awkward. As we discussed in the other thread, casual cuddling should be a thing.... (I'm trying to find it, I'm not sure where, but several others said similar stuff) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ugh... Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 No joke, I used to think that I was craving for hugs, but I would always find them awkward or unsatisfying. One day, while sleeping on my bed in a big pile of pillows, I realized that I was just crazing the incredible coziness of my bed. Other than that, I crave having someone playing with my hair... Fortunately, my hair is very fluffy which makes people want to play with it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philbo Wiseroot Posted July 19, 2016 Author Share Posted July 19, 2016 8 hours ago, Cassiopeia said: As we discussed in the other thread, casual cuddling should be a thing.... (I'm trying to find it, I'm not sure where, but several others said similar stuff) Let me know if you find it! 7 hours ago, Ugh... said: Fortunately, my hair is very fluffy which makes people want to play with it. My hair is short. Never gets played with, and I can't play with it myself 8 hours ago, Cassiopeia said: I don't really like to dance with others (as in physical contact), it just feels awkward. I don't like dancing either. Or "dancing" that's just ew. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgypotato Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 I don't mind a quick hug, but I wouldn't initiate it. I cannot stand cuddling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 heh, physical contact. Doesn't bug me but I don't enjoy it. To make that a bit more understandable ; I do it for the sake of my gf's happiness and it's a neutral feeling. Nothing good. Nothing bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassiopeia Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 2 hours ago, Pufflehugs04 said: Let me know if you find it! There you go. One of the most aro things I have read on this forum so far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kojote Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 I sure do crave it =D But only from specific people. On a grand scale I'd rather not have people randomly hug me. When you greet or say goodbye to a new person, there's always this weird moment were your unsure on whether they'll hug you or shake your hand? That moment right there is usually full of awkwardness But as far as friends go, I love love love to cuddle! When I was still in psychology, me and my best mate from back then had the habit of petting each others heads, if one of us looked tired during lectures. I also always jump-attack-hugged when I saw her and knocking heads together was an accepted way of saying hello (we call em headbangs of love ). We life apart now though. We still do these things, when we see each other, but that's not the same. I miss those days. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rising Sun Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 I love hugs and cuddles but my sensory issues mess with my touch starvation So I want them but only with very close friends, more of the QP kind. As I'm on the limit of sensory overload every time I hug (and sometimes worse), physical contact is something rare and precious, it has a lot of emotional value. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ania Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 I definitely crave physical contact. That said, I also crave some sexual contact and touching, but I also love sensual touching without it leading to sex. However I'm somewhat touch averse, I have always hated if strangers touch me, but loved if friends touched me. For example, goodbye-hugs with acquintances and not-so-good friends or relatives can be very akward and I tend to avoid them. With friends I really like almost all kinds of physical contact, as long as it is caring and affectionate. Hugs, cuddling, sharing a bed, caressing, even kissing. How far I want to go really depends on how good the friend is. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deltaX Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 I love hugs and cuddles! I prefer to get them from close friends, which is great because my main group of friends from home are the type to hug each other often. But really, a hug from anyone will make me happy. When I go for a while without being hugged, and then someone gives me a hug, it feels amazing in a way I really can't put into words. Hugs, or cuddles with friends, are as far as I'm willing to go though. Other forms of physical contact like hand-holding or kissing make me uncomfortable. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mpe0 Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 On 18/07/2016 at 10:55 PM, Cassiopeia said: As we discussed in the other thread, casual cuddling should be a thing.... (I'm trying to find it, I'm not sure where, but several others said similar stuff) About the only possibility I've found would be http://www.cuddleparty.com/ Though these can be uncommon and expensive (even without considering travel) too. On 19/07/2016 at 0:53 AM, Ugh... said: No joke, I used to think that I was craving for hugs, but I would always find them awkward or unsatisfying. One day, while sleeping on my bed in a big pile of pillows, I realized that I was just crazing the incredible coziness of my bed. For some people pillows, even life-size dolls, can be acceptable as cuddle partners. For others of us it really needs to be living, breathing, humans On 19/07/2016 at 8:05 AM, Will said: heh, physical contact. Doesn't bug me but I don't enjoy it. To make that a bit more understandable ; I do it for the sake of my gf's happiness and it's a neutral feeling. Nothing good. Nothing bad. There's a whole spectrum of how people feel about this. Though it does appear to be fairly unusual for the "too little" side of the coin to get an airing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mpe0 Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 13 hours ago, deltaX said: Hugs, or cuddles with friends, are as far as I'm willing to go though. Other forms of physical contact like hand-holding or kissing make me uncomfortable. For me hand-holding is good so long as there is no romantic subtext. (Which is difficult to explain, I know). Something more like holding hands because we a part of the same "team", going to do something together, being lead somewhere, etc. Kissing great so long as it's sensual, sexual or both. But if there is romance there it feels "poisoned". What would be a good fun thing no longer is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulWolf Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 I love hugs, and would like to cuddle a few of the humans I like the most, too. I don't get to do that with enough people for my liking. It just seems like a really awkward/scary thing for me to try and initiate, though... but I guess it's something to work on. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinoa Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 I really like hugs from basically everyone. I'll even still hug someone if I think they have a crush on me, because hugs are not usually seen as something inherently romantic. One time, a total stranger at a train station came up to me and said today was hug a stranger day and asked if he could have a hug. So I gave him a hug. With other things, it depends somewhat on whether I'm worried someone might think I have a crush on them. I REALLY like cuddling with friends and even people I just met. Dancing with someone is sometimes fun, although some people think you're supposed to make eye contact with your dance partner, and it just seems SO close to make eye contact with someone without a ton of awkwardness. If I'm not out to someone and suspect they have a crush on me, I would still enjoy these activities, but I worry that they might make the other person think I have a crush on them. Hand holding just doesn't do anything for me. I don't dislike it, but it's just so insignificant that I just don't care. Since it doesn't do anything for me and people might take it as romantic, I try to avoid it. Massages I have never understood, whether they are head, foot, back, etc. I think this is where I am the most different from all of you in terms of touch. I've heard a lot of people like them, even if they don't like other kinds of touch, but I just don't get it. Back massages supposedly loosen muscles, but they never seem to loosen my muscles, and often they really hurt. I don't particularly dislike back massages if they don't hurt, but I would still probably prefer not to have one. Foot massages tickle, and anything on my head is usually done (in my experience) by someone who is trying their best to treat me like a child. It also messes up my hair. I do not like kisses of any kind. They leave an awful feeling on my skin. I'm lucky enough not to have had anyone try to kiss me on the lips or make out with me, but I have a feeling that would be even worse. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D0NN13_D1N0 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 It's annoying bc i absolutely love things like people playing with my hair, lightly stroking my arms or other sensory stuff and cuddling but my friends would probably think this is weird as these things are normally romantic stuff. I just really like being touched haha 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentShadows Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 I loveeee the idea of platonic cuddles and hugging... but in reality, they just kind of make me vaguely uncomfortable because a.) I get hot really easily, and I'd start to sweat, b.) I worry then that someone will misinterpret it as a romantic gesture, and c.) I have contamination-related OCD so I'm always worried about getting sick or spreading sickness. I do really enjoy casual kinda touching, though, like leaning against someone or brushing against one another. My family was never big on physical touch, so it kind of is a foreign subject to me. I don't mind it much, really, so as long as I care a lot about the person. I really am not fond of near strangers or new friends touching me, as I find it uncomfortable and strange. I prefer to initiate, too - I'm put off when people are aggressively affectionate because they seem to have no tact! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_BigGay_Aro Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 On 7/18/2016 at 2:42 PM, Philbo Wiseroot said: Am I the only one who craves physical affections that aren't sexual or romantic (being aro/ace)? It seems I'm always wanting cuddles and hugs from people, but never get any. What do you like? Or what would your dream be? Only from my squish like only hugs and cuddles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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