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  1. Nice to see that so many people in the aro community seem to think the same way as I do. I've always seemed to value friendship much more than most people, and that in turn has made me feel verylonely and isolated, I have had very few close friends in my life. It's been difficult to find friends who'd want to develop and close and deep friendships as I wanted, though my social anxiety and some lack of social skills also contributes to that... I don't call someone a friend easily... I think I've upset a few people by saying that they are not my friends, just acquaintances. I know, I am sometimes quite blunt in this kind of social things. Also on a related matters, it really annoys me when some people think that in friendship, more the better. They don't really value the quality of friendships, they just care how many friends (=acquaintances) they have.
  2. I definitely crave physical contact. That said, I also crave some sexual contact and touching, but I also love sensual touching without it leading to sex. However I'm somewhat touch averse, I have always hated if strangers touch me, but loved if friends touched me. For example, goodbye-hugs with acquintances and not-so-good friends or relatives can be very akward and I tend to avoid them. With friends I really like almost all kinds of physical contact, as long as it is caring and affectionate. Hugs, cuddling, sharing a bed, caressing, even kissing. How far I want to go really depends on how good the friend is.
  3. Welcome, and greetings from a fellow Finnish vegetarian aro And I'm also a student and love coffee and cats.
  4. INFP, though I recall having got INFJ as the result sometime before. Also funny that everyone who has answered so far has had introverted attitude.
  5. NB here too I usually just call myself non-binary, I think that label is nicely wide and broad. I tend to dislike labels, so I think non-binary is a good umbrella term for me. My feelings about my gender tend to fluctate and change, but on average I'm more on the feminine side. Sometimes I experience body dysphoria, sometimes not, but I experience social kind of dysphoria constantly. I also think I'd be mostly attracted to other NB people... But since I don't know any in real life, currently I seem to be most often attracted to females....
  6. I guess that sexually I'm somewhere between gray-asexual and demisexual. I don't really get sexual desires just by looks of someone. On the other hand, even in established relationships I don't think I'd desire as much sex as other people. For me sexuality is always connected to sensuality and mental connection. Also I don't feel that sex needs to always lead to penetration (or oral sex), I'm often very content with just some of the more "innocent" forms of sexuality. Sometimes just seeing someone (in person) I'm close with is enough to trigger sexual desires. Also cuddling or kissing can do that for me. Or seeing someone naked or in underwear (eg. when changing clothes). Blatant sexual suggestions or leads or those "social indicators" rarely do anything for me; maybe because those focus too much on the physical aspects of sex, where I see sex more as a mental thing. Or because they tend to be signs of an inbalance in my and their sexual desires. Rarely, but happens. And sometimes I've revisualized sexual things that have happened. I usually just like looking at them and admiring them and not imagine anything in my head.
  7. Absolotutely definitely no. I've never liked the idea of having kids, and a thought of having kids just feels outright impossible. I just feel that I wouldn't get any kind of fulfilment from kids. They would definitely degrade my life quality in many aspects, but I wouldn't get anything in return. Luckily I don't get much pressure from my family to have kids. I don't think that neither my romantic nor sexual orientation have much to do with this. EDIT: And while I don't want kids and don't even like them, I think every kid should be treated well and every child deserves loving and caring parents. And that's the reason I think it'd be outright wrong for me to have kids: I know I couldn't be that kind of parent.
  8. I used to think that gray-ace/demisexuality is a bigger part of my identity, but lately I've came to think that aromanticism is a bigger part of me. Because while I don't want romantic partners, I still desire some QPR(-ish) things. But since I don't know any other aros, I often feel quite isolated. I also value friendship much more than most people, and that sometimes causes some inbalance in my friendships...
  9. Yes to all three. Hugs are okay almost with friends. I'm okay with short greeting hugs with most people of my age and in some cases with older people too. Longer, more meaningful hugs are great with closer friends. I however can't stand hugging most of my family members and relatives. Also I hate the "my sports team won" kind of hugs. Cuddling is wonderful with closer friends. However many people tend to see cuddling as a romantic act and finding cuddle-able friends isn't exactly easy I also like kissing close friends. Kisses on cheeks or forehead etc. are fine with friends. In the queerplatonic relationship I had, I also liked kissing on lips, neck, ears etc. I tend to crave a touch contact with people a lot, but I'm quite afraid to initiate a touch, mainly because I'm afraid that people get my intentions wrong and think I want something romantic. Only exception is a friendly hug, or if it's in a QPR.
  10. Only very occasionally, and usually only two to four drinks. Also I don't like the taste of most alcoholic drinks. I mostly like wines, and getting good quality wine in most bars is quite difficult...
  11. I'm platonically attracted to feminine people. Being a demisexual, platonic relationship must be formed before I start desiring sex. However I definitely don't start wanting sex with everyone I'm platonically close with. So I'd say that my platonic and sexual orientation match, even though it is only subset of people I like sexually.
  12. ania


    Hi all, I'm a non-binary person, twenty-something years old, living in Scandinavia. As for my gender, I'm quite unsure about everything but I think I'm gender fluid or something like that. My social personality and ways of communication tend to be quite stably feminine, so I usually tend to prefer feminine companion. I'm also aromantic. I've never felt attracted to anyone and can't imagine a romantic relationship with anyone. Still I'd like to find a partner (or two) for some kind of relationship, some person/people to share my apartment, bed and life with. As for sexuality, I'm demisexual. Again I'm attracted mostly to feminine people. However my body dysphoria makes sexual things a bit tricky to me... A bit about myself... I consider myself to be quite sensitive, caring, thoughtful and empathetic, and also rather introverted person. However, making friends has always been very difficult to me and I'm often feeling very lonely. I'm also rather introverted person. As for my hobbies and interests, I really love performing arts and classical music and other kinds of arts too. I love nature, forests and seas and like sailing and taking walks in the forests. And I always enjoy deep and thoughtful conversations over a cup of tea.
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