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how do you define and explain romantic attraction?


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I would say it is the feeling that gives you the urge to date someone, usually associating with things like butterflies in the stomach.

Or I would say that like there is an attraction that makes people desires sex with a person, the same thing exist for romance instead of sex.

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as someone who is aro, I don't think I can. I don't what it is, having never really experienced it. the closest I could get is "crushes," or the butterflies iim stomach feeling. 

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2 hours ago, nonmerci said:

I would say it is the feeling that gives you the urge to date someone, usually associating with things like butterflies in the stomach.

i agree with nonmerci here, i saw someone once define it as this urge/desire to be the other person's everything, that makes you think about them constantly or get nervous around them. i've never experienced romantic feelings so i can't truly describe it (like the majority here).

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I wouldn't dare define romantic attraction anymore; but, I'd try explaining it, at least to myself, as "something extra" to distinguish between a (potential) partner and a friend. Something that makes them kind of... exclusive? Like, you enjoy their company just a bit more, or in a slightly different way. For me, from my recent experiences, it involves enjoying being held, having my back and hair stroked - something that used to always feel awkward with anybody else.

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On 7/25/2021 at 6:53 PM, Ashe. said:

if someone asks you, "what is romantic attraction" how do you explain it to them?

This is very difficult to answer.

I don’t think there’s a clear, non-tautological definition. I could make a list of features that are typically associated with romantic attraction. The problem is that such a list might sound offensive to alloromantics. An aro caricature of romantic attraction; or an aro confusing real romantic attraction with amatonormative ideas about it.

Because if you’d check all or most of the items on that list, you’d indeed experience romantic attraction in a very, very cliché manner – a bit “too much” even for most allos!

And it’s totally true that real-life romantic attraction is not like that at all! But still it retains some sort of connection to the cliché: e.g. physical beauty or gender simply is of some importance in romantic attraction (while it is usually of much less importance in platonic attraction).

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I'd define it was wanting to be in a romantic (or similar) relationship with someone.
With romantic relationships being those where ideas like being "in a relationship" or "in a couple" are very important. Possibly even more important than what happens within that relationship.

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  • 2 months later...
On 7/29/2021 at 11:55 AM, Mark said:

I'd define it was wanting to be in a romantic (or similar) relationship with someone.
With romantic relationships being those where ideas like being "in a relationship" or "in a couple" are very important. Possibly even more important than what happens within that relationship.

That doesn't sound very healthy... /nbr

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  • 1 month later...

i would say its come with stress/ feeling nervous , usually huge desire to talk with them and spend time with them , in friends and people when u see them u more focus on them , u may fantasies about future with them, depend on your sexuality you may have sexual fantasies , sometimes butterflies ig? more like stress , getting super obsessive with them and thinking about them in obsessive way, and you may get heart broken if they be with someone else, jelly feelings and all of those stuff, also owning feelings , ik ik its not healthy but its really out of control and are side effects of crush . 

oh i forgot to say it may come with huge strong sensual desires and desiring to kiss them though this different for each person cause for me i would kiss everyone even my friend to show that i like them {ik weird way to show platonic love }

note : Idk if i am Alloromantic or im aro flux/lith flux but i have experience crush many times like most day { okay i have to say developing crush is worst thing that i experienced in my totally life }

anyway hope u all do well have lovely day yall! <3

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