Hi you guys, I just wanted to give you a little update on this story.
So, last weekend, I went and met the guy and it was... different from what I was (almost) expecting.
First of all, I wasn't nervous. Like, at all. Usually, I'm a bundle of nerves whenever I meet somebody new, no matter my feelings towards them. I may have tensed up a little when my bus arrived and I saw him waiting there for me but the whole why-are-my-legs-knotted-and-where-the-heck's-my-tongue I was counting on never manifested.
On the other hand, neither did any butterflies. I had successfully talked myself into thinking this was a crush, against my better judgement, and I can't say I wasn't disappointed when it turned out I enjoyed the company a lot, but did not feel any inclination to make googly eyes and hold hands and smooch (for the record, while I'm very comfortable with the ace part of my orientation, the aro part's been giving me grief for years and years and, apparently, I'm still not quite over it).
I did, however, feel comfortable enough around him that we did end up cuddling on his couch which, he had told me after we'd had a long talk about my orientation back in December, is pretty much all he wants out of a relationship at this point, anyway.
Nevertheless, I was stunned that I wanted this! Frankly, it was more physical contact than I had had in the last 17 years (and far more enjoyable than what I'd had before that).
When I'd gotten back home, and he asked if we'd chat later that evening, I had a freak-out moment, thinking "Oh no! He wants to know what we are to each other. He needs a label. Have I committed to anything? Does us cuddling mean I'm responsible for his happiness now?!?" - turns out, no, he really just wanted to chat like we always did ?
I may have stumbled into something good. I'm even (so far) managing not to feel responsible for whether or not this is enough for him - he's a grown man, he can decide that for himself.
This... may work out just fine, after all!