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Arospecs / Hikikomori: points of convergence


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I was listening to a podcast on hikikomori this morning and it struck me that there could well be some parallels/common points or factors in both phenomenons (that's the term I would use to qualify both these human "problematic" behaviours).

Your thoughts?

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I never heard of it before. Looked it up the word hikikomori on wikipedia, and I can't really see that much connection. Isolating yourself and refusing to participate in society seems to me entirely different from being uninterested in romantic partnership in particular. Of course, I don't know what was actually said in the podcast. Can you explain more about what parallels and common points stood out to you?

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I don't think so, personally. Hikikomori usually has more to do with mental health struggles, with Japan being a country where it's highly frowned upon to acknowledge mental health issues. It also generally includes a refusal to leave the house at all as much as possible, including not working, not going to school, not seeing friends, not going to the store, etc., none of which has anything to do with romance.

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Hikikomori is a behavior that is as extreme as it gets... truly hard-core. An obviously "problematic" one because Hikikomoris need providers. So a society of Hikikomoris could obviously not ever work.

A stable society of aros would in principle work. A bit difficult with getting and raising children, but that issue could be figured out probably.

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13 minutes ago, DeltaV said:

A bit difficult with getting and raising children, but that issue could be figured out probably.

I reckon we've already got that sorted. Getting children is fine, I'm certainly fine with having sex. For raising children: stable non-romantic relationships, single parenthood, raising children as a larger societal group. there are already plenty of ways that could work.

 

On the larger question, there could be some overlap between the experience of a single aro and the experience of a hikikomori (not sure how the phrasing of that works) but I am not sure how useful those overlaps would be. Hikikomori seems very extreme in its isolation in a way I have never seen in aro spaces.

2 hours ago, Jedi said:

Of course, I don't know what was actually said in the podcast.

I guess this is the caveat though, it might be that the podcast describes hikikomori in a much milder way than the things I have heard about it.

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2 hours ago, DeltaV said:

A stable society of aros would in principle work. A bit difficult with getting and raising children, but that issue could be figured out probably.

I don't thin it would be a real issue. Some aros are allosexual or not sex-repulsed, and if this is a modern society, there is way to have children without sex anyway. And I'm sure an aro society ould have think about how a non-nuclear family could work.

The only problem I see is how many aros would want to have children, as many aros seem to not desire them.

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I'm thinking about stigmatization, including for the families.

Hikikomori is not limited to Japan, it's a global phenomenon.

One of the parallels (I didn't say similarity) is that (young) people are supposed to be active, outgoing, succesful in society, etc. On the same level, (young) people are supposed to have romantic attachment, mostly planning for children, etc.

If not the case, stigmatization of these behaviours, the same for their families if their society expressly intends for them to act "correctly"...

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On 5/3/2021 at 7:01 AM, vinniebandit said:

(young) people are supposed to be active, outgoing, succesful in society, etc. On the same level, (young) people are supposed to have romantic attachment, mostly planning for children, etc

OK, that makes a lot of sense comparing the kinds of expectations people have coming into conflict with aromanticism/hikikomori.

Apologies I was thinking earlier on the parallels between hikikomori and aromantics themselves. What you said there is a fair point.

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On 5/3/2021 at 4:01 PM, vinniebandit said:

One of the parallels (I didn't say similarity) is that (young) people are supposed to be active, outgoing, succesful in society, etc. On the same level, (young) people are supposed to have romantic attachment, mostly planning for children, etc.

Eh, I guess there's a parallel in the sense that people who do something different to what society sees as the standard life path may face stigma. But that's an incredibly broad category of people. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

They are defo very different thing however hikikomori is a pretty interesting though sad phenomenon of withdrawing from expectations and shame and such. It is them that put themselves in the situation. Avoiding most or all contact of the outside world unless to collect food or such.

I guess the ways mentioned here about avoiding the things expected in society is what is in common. 

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  • 1 month later...
On 5/3/2021 at 9:01 AM, vinniebandit said:

I'm thinking about stigmatization, including for the families.

Hikikomori is not limited to Japan, it's a global phenomenon.

One of the parallels (I didn't say similarity) is that (young) people are supposed to be active, outgoing, succesful in society, etc. On the same level, (young) people are supposed to have romantic attachment, mostly planning for children, etc.

If not the case, stigmatization of these behaviours, the same for their families if their society expressly intends for them to act "correctly"...

Still, that's not the same in most cases. It probably depends, but a lot of people become hikikomori because of social anxiety, agoraphobia or other mental health issues. And actually you should be succesful in society if you can, like have a job for money or simular things, that's good for you... You can live without romance, but it's hard to live without money or acquaintances

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