AllTalk Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 I don't know the correct words for this, so please excuse any unintentionally offensive statements. I truly don't mean to offend anyone, and that's actually a huge part of my issue in this post!! I've had a small group of 3 close friends for 12+ years now. We all met through a common recreational activity, and stuck together. I made a big move away from our home town about 6 years ago. So it's the 3 of them back home and me out on my lonesome. We still keep in touch, but I always feel the strain. Anyways, less than a year before I moved away, one of my friends came out as lesbian. And not just that, but that she and another woman in our group started dating. Things went swimmingly and they are now happily married! They both ended up coming out well into adulthood, which undoubtedly has a unique set of challenges. The third of the bunch of us identifies as some "non-normative" orientation ... Truthfully, I've never asked her. It doesn't matter to me, we're friends because of who she is, not who she does or does not take to bed. I figured, if she wanted me to know, she would tell me. The bunch of us would joke that I was the "token heterosexual" (of course, me knowing that that didn't fit, but not fighting it because with the aro part of me, I come across as totally hetero). Anyways, fast forward half dozen years. The bunch of us keep in touch mainly through group messaging. When I told them what I had stumbles upon regarding aromanticism, excited that the descriptions and conversations seem to describe what I've been feeling my whole life, I got crickets. One of the three was interested, as she hadn't heard of the romantic spectrum either. But the other two ... Nothing. Sure, I could just ask them if I had offended them somehow, but where is the sadistic fun in that?! So I'm sitting here, worrying that my sharing is coming across as "me-too-ism". I mean, I'm not shouting from the rooftops, I've only shared online here and with them the one time. I don't even intend to make a deal out of anything, because honestly my finding the word "aromantic" changes nothing about my real life. I've been living as an aromantic without even knowing it for all of my adult life. But I was hoping my friends might share some of my private excitement. Long story super long ... What is the general feeling toward aromanticism from people of non-normative orientations?? Clearly, the more visible orientations have suffered hugely throughout history and have really set the stage for any discussion of the various spectrums that exist. So is something as relatively trivial as aromanticism viewed as bandwagoning? Or stealing thunder? Or am I just being over-sensitive? This is really bothering me. I'd love to hear any insights or experiences you may have had that might she'd some light! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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