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AllTalk

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About AllTalk

  • Rank
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Personal Information

  • Name
    AllTalk
  • Orientation
    Aro
  • Gender
    Female

Recent Profile Visitors

751 profile views
  1. I ordered a custom aro ring last week and it arrived today. So happy 😁
  2. Welcome! So sorry you're going through this awkward interaction. I can only reiterate what the others have said. Only you are allowed to define yourself. And you don't HAVE to define yourself as anything if you don't want to. If identifying as aromantic makes you feel better in your skin today, then embrace it. And who knows, maybe you will find someone to share a romantic relationship with some day. And if you do, you can decide to change your definition to whatever fits you best. But if you don't, if you don't even care to look for that option, if the mere mention of it gives you the squirms, you are completely entitled to take whatever direction suits you best. You do you, live your best life, and don't think you owe anybody else an explanation for how you feel or who you are.
  3. I do really like grapea ... 🤣
  4. Welcome! You're amongst peers here 😀
  5. Exactly that! Both that "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" is a really funny show, and that it's enjoyable to be entertained by concepts that don't affect your own personal life. I mean, no matter where on the aro spectrum you are, we are all surrounded by enough romance and amatonormativity to basically "get" the concepts. To know the words for what define a romantic relationship, see what people do and go through in the name of finding "the one". Even if we don't necessarily FEEL those urges ourselves, we see it enough to get the gist. So media (books/TV/movies/whatever) that use those scenarios and make them entertaining, can still appeal to people that don't feel the emotions but still understand and live within a world where the concepts exist. Sidenote: @DavidMS703, if you haven't already checked it out, I would also recommend Superstore as a good show. It's on Hulu. Same type of comedy, and touches on the different types of sexual-through-romantic relationships that exist in a group of people.
  6. OMG It's like you're in my brain! haha With my friends, I am very blunt and open, super share-y. But there is always that creature in my brain wondering "are you contributing to the conversation, or are you trying to make this about yourself??" I always worry that others view me as self-centered, talking about myself or my thoughts or my experiences. My anxiety meds have helped a little in that regard So I feel somewhat justified in thinking that the thoughts are more of an outcome of the anxiety disorder, and maybe not valid. And regarding my friend's silent treatment ... I followed up on that and was SO THRILLED that it was all a misunderstanding!! Thank you ALL for your encouragement to just deal with it, talk to them like real adults. (Novel concept, eh??) I did bring it up again, asking if they were silent because I had offended or irritated or annoyed them. Turns out they just legit hadn't seen the message and it got swallowed up by some other comment that another person made. Symptom of technology. When we actually did talk about things, they were super supportive, legitimately interested in the classification of a romantic spectrum, and way cool about it all. UGH! See, I knew I had amazing friends. Darned brain creature makes me doubt everything and imagine the worst. Again, thank you ALL for support and encouragement to just confront the issue. And for sharing your stories. I am very fortunate that my situation turned out to be a weird misunderstanding, but I fully appreciate how there are many of us out there that don't necessarily have that easy outcome. 😔❤️
  7. I love romance books. But in truth, I really get wrapped up in the stories that are heavy on the courtship, the wooing and infatuation part. And of course, the sexy times. Haha. Once a story moves toward happily ever after and family building, I completely lose interest. And if I really think about it, I like the stories where the characters fall for each other due to some bigger external force that they can't resist. Extenuating circumstances or some all-powerful "fate". That don't follow the "real life" pattern of relationship building. The traditional boy-meets-girl vanilla romance holds no appeal.
  8. I have a pack of Shelties. Lots of hair and barking 😁
  9. Welcome!! Dog nerd here, too. If in doubt, we can talk about puppies. 😁
  10. Really, @Eklinaar, you have been absolutely fantastic these past couple days for me! Thank you so very much! I can't say that I am "happy" that others know what I'm worrying about, but I guess I'm relieved that I'm not the only one. I do have a tendency of being overly sensitive at times, and knowing that about myself, I try extra hard to not be a nag. So it's good to hear that I may be somewhat justified, and not just paranoid. If you happen to find any articles or blogs that discuss the issue particularly well, I'd be super interested in reading them (and surreptitiously sliding them to my friends haha).
  11. I don't know the correct words for this, so please excuse any unintentionally offensive statements. I truly don't mean to offend anyone, and that's actually a huge part of my issue in this post!! I've had a small group of 3 close friends for 12+ years now. We all met through a common recreational activity, and stuck together. I made a big move away from our home town about 6 years ago. So it's the 3 of them back home and me out on my lonesome. We still keep in touch, but I always feel the strain. Anyways, less than a year before I moved away, one of my friends came out as lesbian. And not just that, but that she and another woman in our group started dating. Things went swimmingly and they are now happily married! They both ended up coming out well into adulthood, which undoubtedly has a unique set of challenges. The third of the bunch of us identifies as some "non-normative" orientation ... Truthfully, I've never asked her. It doesn't matter to me, we're friends because of who she is, not who she does or does not take to bed. I figured, if she wanted me to know, she would tell me. The bunch of us would joke that I was the "token heterosexual" (of course, me knowing that that didn't fit, but not fighting it because with the aro part of me, I come across as totally hetero). Anyways, fast forward half dozen years. The bunch of us keep in touch mainly through group messaging. When I told them what I had stumbles upon regarding aromanticism, excited that the descriptions and conversations seem to describe what I've been feeling my whole life, I got crickets. One of the three was interested, as she hadn't heard of the romantic spectrum either. But the other two ... Nothing. Sure, I could just ask them if I had offended them somehow, but where is the sadistic fun in that?! So I'm sitting here, worrying that my sharing is coming across as "me-too-ism". I mean, I'm not shouting from the rooftops, I've only shared online here and with them the one time. I don't even intend to make a deal out of anything, because honestly my finding the word "aromantic" changes nothing about my real life. I've been living as an aromantic without even knowing it for all of my adult life. But I was hoping my friends might share some of my private excitement. Long story super long ... What is the general feeling toward aromanticism from people of non-normative orientations?? Clearly, the more visible orientations have suffered hugely throughout history and have really set the stage for any discussion of the various spectrums that exist. So is something as relatively trivial as aromanticism viewed as bandwagoning? Or stealing thunder? Or am I just being over-sensitive? This is really bothering me. I'd love to hear any insights or experiences you may have had that might she'd some light!
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