The Aro Mando Echo

I know it’s been a while, just needed somewhere to talk about this. my friends (one of whom is bi and the other is an ace lesbian) are very sweet and I love them to death but often when we start joking about not being straight, they say things like “no no, [Echo] doesn’t count.” Or “you’re not even actually gay” or “you wouldn’t get it.” I’m not disagreeing with the fact that I’m not gay (which has from my observations slowly been becoming a bit of an umbrella term for someone who is LGBTQ, when it was originally mostly just meant to refer to male homosexuals/homoromantics). It’s more of the message that I’m not “queer” enough to also joke around with them. It feels a bit invalidating, hearing them say that I don’t even count as anything and that asexuality(but mostly aromanticism) is seen by them as not “truly” part of the LGBTQ community. I really wish things like this weren’t an issue. While being aromantic/asexual may not be as easy to identify, it is still very different from being heterosexual. If someone chooses not to identify as LGBTQ I feel that is their choice, I just want there to be a choice. It’s getting better, luckily, as it’s more talked about, but it’s frustrating feeling like I constantly have to prove that I belong in the LGBTQ community.

I agree with most of the thoughts shared on this thread! I have had fellow lgbtq+ friends tell me that I "don't count" or that I'm "basically straight", which definitely comes off as exclusive and hurtful. I've also been told I have a disease or mental illness, and that I'm making it up or faking it to "be special". I don't think it's anyone's place to assume the level of discrimination or hardship someone has experienced based on a label, and we should focus on bringing awareness and support to all minorities out there. Competition for "who's the most oppressed" doesn't accomplish anything, and instead only minimizes the struggles of others.

I have a small bracelet with the beads colored the aroace flag

Yoo I love DnD! Welcome to the forums :)

Yeah, tell us the secrets! 😅

Idk if anyone has done Harry Potter yet but.. I totally headcannon Charlie Weasley as aroace. I mean, if dragons were real I would definitely be studying them too..

Or just not kissing at all 👈 😎👈 (finger guns)

I have labeled myself as a ''Professional wingman'' as a running gag because I help my friends ask people out and stuff, but I definitely have no idea what is really happening when it comes to flirting or relationships. I still sometimes ask my friends about how a crush feels and they describe bizarre things that sound unhealthy but oh well apparently that is normal... I'm definitely kinda sick of the ''oooh who's your crush??'' question though...

When people take someone from a show who shows no romantic interest (which is rare enough as it is) and ship said character with everyone and everything. When people say that being aro is just an "excuse to not be called single/ a virgin" When movies have a story about someone who says they're not interested in a relationship and then they get a "happy ending" by finding their true love or whatever, as if they needed fixing. Finally, when people say "that's not real/ so many labels nowadays.. You'll find the one someday just you wait.."

I like tubing, does that count? tpbm goes to the gym

I ask my friends about this and they start listing off symptoms of a panic attack 😭

I'm offended that you assumed we would know that

I'm offended that your pfp is threatening me like excuse me put the knife down