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anzu2snow

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About anzu2snow

  • Birthday November 7

Personal Information

  • Name
    Rachel
  • Orientation
    aro
  • Gender
    Agender
  • Pronouns
    she/her or they/them
  • Location
    USA

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anzu2snow's Achievements

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  1. I'd prefer to be in the cool temp category. 59 degrees F isn't that cold. As long as I have the right attire, I'm ok within the 35F to 80F range. It's too much for me otherwise. Sadly, our winters and summers are getting more extreme here. Last summer, it hovered in the mid-90's and occasionally broke into the low 100's. Add smog to that and it's oppressive. It's gone down into the teens for winter. These are definitely not our 'norms'. It's unbearable for me.
  2. Red, black, and color from the survey. Specifically, I love blood red, black, and white.
  3. Most of the time it's in first person, usually me in them, and they're like real life. I've had mostly nightmares since I was 2. Hardly have good ones. They truly feel real. Almost too real. That makes them even scarier. I've tried lucid dreaming, and I can't change any of them during it. In fact, things got worse in those recurring dreams the next time around. I've had a dream where I slowly decay in a coffin. I feel, smell, touch, etc. everything. Another where I'm repeatedly ran over by a car. No, I don't wake up when I 'die' in these dreams. They just keep going. I've heard that's unusual. I've gotten used to them, and even wrote a collection of 12 short stories based on them.
  4. I take hot showers. Hot enough that it's steamy. It's very relaxing, makes me feel extremely clean, fogs up the mirror so my dysphoria isn't triggered when I get out, and it's nice at the end of the day. I can't stand cold showers. I can never feel clean enough, my skin toughens up, and the feeling is unbearable to me. I also have a few skin issues, and oddly a hot shower helps with those.
  5. I'm a Reform Jew. Was born and raised that way. My mom was Jewish ('was' because she passed away 6 years ago), and my other parent was raised Catholic. However, that other parent isn't Catholic, feels closer to Judaism, but feels she's Buddhist. Her family did not approve of her marrying a Jew, and my mom's Ultra Orthodox sister refused to go to the wedding or talk to her for 7 years. My parent's side occasionally tries to convert me...Makes for an odd mix of things when I meet either side in person. In that way, it's good I don't live near any of my other relatives besides my parent. There is quite a bit of amatonormitivity and heteronormitivity going on in Jewish communities. Even though I'm not orthodox, I've known congregants from synagogues (I'm not a member of either of the local ones anymore) try to set me up with someone. There's also a 'responsibility' of men to 'fulfill' the duty of satisfying their women sexually. Women are considered sexual beings. We're also told to be fruitful and multiply. There's a prayer that's beautiful, but it's referring to G-d as their 'beloved'. For us, G-d is referred to as a man and a woman. Typically a woman on Shabbat, or our Day of Rest. The interesting thing is we also feel that G-d is beyond gender. Everything and nothing at the same time. Interesting growing up with that when you're agender. Also, since we 'wrestle with G-d', many are atheist. I'm not, but even Ultra Orthodox Jews can be. We don't have a blind 'devotion' or something to G-d. We're told to question everything. I've thought about being more observant (like Modern Orthodox), but just can't right now. I can't go to a synagogue as much as I'd like, because I have an autoimmune disease. It would cost more to be fully kosher. Plus, I live with someone who doesn't eat kosher at all. Just lots of circumstantial stuff.
  6. My cookbook, My Mother's Treasure Trove of Recipes, is finally out on Amazon! Yay! It's my 5th book, but 1st cookbook. It's based on the recipes my mom collected for 35 years in a photo album. She passed away in 2012, so this is like a tribute to her.

  7. I'm 32, and will be turning 33 in November.
  8. I've come out to pretty much everyone. It didn't get as big of a reaction on facebook as I did with telling them I'm ace. Facebook is where most of my friends and family keep in contact with me. I think many people don't understand it. At least, they seem to be learning through some of the stuff I post. I think one of the worst reactions was when I came out as aro ace last Thanksgiving. We were at a couple's place, who have been friends of the family for years. They're pretty much family now. Anyways, it was after most people had left, except for the hosts, my parent (she knew beforehand), me, and this older lady who's set in her ways. The hosts were cool with it (even thought the idea made sense), and wanted to learn more. That lady kept saying things like: "You'll change your mind some day." "You just haven't found the right man." "It's just a phase." When I got into talking about how I wanted to be in a qpr, she didn't quite get it. She said: "Isn't that just friendship?" "You want a companion, you can get a dog." It was weird. The hosts and my parent were sticking up for me, but it was difficult. Coming out as agender was even more out there for some people. I only came out with that about a month or two ago. Again, most people just want to learn about it. Hopefully, people who are thinking about coming out will have positive outcomes.
  9. I don't drink. Mainly because of my meds, but I also never really liked the taste. I do like it when it's used in cooking. All the actual alcohol burns off, you get an interesting flavor left behind, and it tenderizes things like meats. My parents wanted me to be into drinking it. As a kid (probably around 9 or 10), they introduced me to manishewitz. It was ok, but not as great as grape juice to me. Later, in my teens they tried to get me into riesling. Still, wasn't into it. For my 19th birthday in college, all the girls on my dorm floor tried to get me to drink a lot. They tried to get me to drink a huge tumbler of mixed wine coolers. I threw it all up immediately. They took me to Greek Row, and gave me beer. Hated the taste, but gave in to peer pressure and drank it. Got a little tipsy, but not bad. That was one of the last times I actually drank alcohol. Was not a fun time, and seeing the girls get really drunk and their personalities change was also a turn-off. I think truly the last time was when I was about 23. (I'm 32 now.) I couldn't sleep and had horrible withdrawal symptoms from a med. My mom suggested I have a huge glass of vodka quickly. That was...an experience I didn't want on top of everything else. It didn't really help me. I don't understand the obsession with it.
  10. I have a lot of faves. I think Gintama tops it for me. It'll have you laughing hysterically one minute, and crying the next. Crying at even seemingly stupid things. The action's awesome, the story is actually complex (people who have only seen a few episodes will probably say there isn't one, but that's so wrong), every character is unique in their own way and have something to offer, the main character has a lot of flaws but for some reason seems stronger because of them (he seems more human this way), there are aliens and samurai (strange and interesting mix), and so much more. I have a lot of fave manga, too. Probably Kuroshitsuji tops them all. The art in the manga is gorgeous and detailed. The story has so many twists and turns. I usually can predict what's going to happen in many manga/anime, but this is different. It's really dark, but I like that. I don't think the anime series is nearly as good. Although, the Book of... anime versions have been exactly like those manga arcs. So, they're pretty good.
  11. I'm starting to realize that I'm agender. Been thinking about my gender for the past few months. So, I'm a triple A. :D Sounds weird. I think I'll stick to she/her pronouns for now, since I'm used to them.  

    1. omitef

      omitef

      congraaats

  12. This was weird. Lots of sexist things, and for some questions, I couldn't agree with any of the answers. Things were worded oddly, too. Some, didn't seem to matter with the subject. I just was curious what the results would be, even though I'm a cis woman. Ended up being androgenous, appearance is female, apparently am ftm, have had mild conflicts with my gender identity, and crossdress. Interesting, but a whole lot of nope. Although, I have to say, some days I'm really into feminine things like makeup, certain clothes, jewelry, etc. Other days, I could really care less. Like, have zero interest. So, I guess I might swing a bit on that. But, certainly not into stuff that would be considered masculine. I've been misgendered in the past, and it felt so wrong. Not a great thing.
  13. I've been playing the clarinet since I was 10. Was in concert band, pep band, marching band, and pit orchestra in high school. Marching band in college until I almost (never found out if I did) broke my tailbone. Walked differently ever since, but I really miss it. Now I just play for myself. For me, it's calming and boosts my self esteem. I would like to start a klezmer band some day. I also played fiddle about a year before I started playing the clarinet. Before that, the recorder.
  14. I'm aro ace, 32, and have only had one romantic relationship. It lasted for about 2 1/2 years. I didn't seek it out, and I kind of feel like I was suckered into it. I met him when I was eating at a cafeteria in college with about 5 other girls I was friends with and were from the same dorm floor. Also, had similar interests, and they got me into anime. Anyways, he suddenly appeared while we were talking about anime. He kept staring at me and talking only towards me. My friends were iffy about him. Eventually we became close, and I thought we were good friends. About a month later, he said if I don't tell him I love him within a week, I'll never see him again. It kind of shocked me. Thinking I didn't want to lose a good friend, I said it. At the very beginning, it was incredibly suffocating and he wanted to monopolize my time. He didn't want me spending time with my friends, and friends grew distant anyway. I eventually got used to it, and felt like I had to pretend. I liked some of it at times, but never initiated it. Never got over the bruising kisses and bone-crushing 'romantic' hugs. He'd also carry me sometimes, which was scary to me. I grew very emotionally close to him, and then on Valentine's Day (supposedly one of the most romantic days of the year), he dumped me over the phone across the state. It hurt badly, but not romantically. Just emotionally/platonically. I've had many guys try to date me, but I was so oblivious, I didn't realize I was on dates. I've tried to date because my parents kept urging me to. That just felt incredibly awkward, a waste of time, they were interested in doing things I wasn't, and the guys seemed creepy to me.
  15. When I went to my 10-year high school reunion, there was I guy I thought I was good friends with back then. The first thing he blurted out to me was: "I'm married now!" And, then proceeded to quickly walk away. No hi or anything. I was really confused and stunned. This was the guy who did a science project with me at his place, had study sessions there, invited me to a bunch of parties (again at his place, and there were mostly guys at them), asked me to stay and eat dinner with him after studying, etc. I was confused by some of it at the time, but apparently he liked me romantically? Strange. There was another guy I thought I was good friends with back in high school. I've told people about him, and apparently he seemed almost stalkerish, and really romantically interested. He asked me to have him as my +1 at the band dance/party, joined band even though all he did was hold a banner during parades and normally was apart of the choir, always sat next to me, got angry if my other friends sat next to me, also invited me to parties, asked me to be his partner at graduation, etc. I was oblivious to it all. Only thinking about things like the dress and food when I thought about having a wedding. Not about an actual partner. My parent was upset about this recently. (This was before she knew I was aro.)
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