Collie

I grew up in a fundamentalist (Christian) home and I turned out fine. Kids eventually start thinking for themselves. Unless they're in an actual cult, which isn't necessarily the case, I wouldn't worry too much.

Not allosexual, but do experience sexual attraction under grey-asexuality. Lithsexual: having attraction but not wanting it reciprocated. I definitely fancy women in a sexual way now and then, but I don't actually want to go through with it. I don't think I've ever had much in the way of sexual attraction to specific others. It's pretty rare if it ever happens. I did see a muscular woman at work last night and I was like oh hello.... wait I think I'm into this. I'm 29. I remember exploring sexual feelings as a teen, I even used to like the idea of having sex as some deep emotional connection thing. I just never felt a connection to others in that way back then.

I get it. Imposter syndrome sucks. These days I'm very confident in my sexual and romantic orientations, but I've had my shares of doubts back in the day. Detachment from others in all realms can be a sign of a mental disorder, for sure. I most likely have a personality disorder that affects how I interact with others and makes me isolate myself, currently in the midst of the diagnostic process. That said, there are specific guidelines for these disorders, and only a professional can confirm or disconfirm. And if it's truly a disorder or not, that depends mostly on if it causes you distress, or affects your ability to connect to others in a destructive way.

Therapist can't diagnose me over the service we're using (Better Help), but says in her opinion avoidant personality disorder is an accurate diagnosis. So when I go to see the nurse practitioner on Thursday at noon, going to ask her what she thinks.

This song is an avoidant personality disorder mood

ADHD, OCD, anxiety, possibly dyscalculia (dyslexia with math), and possibly avoidant personality disorder.

There's good stuff about the US, but it sucks if you're LGBTQ or don't have lots of money.

Not currently diagnosed, but looking into avoidant personality disorder. I shot my therapist a message asking her thoughts on it, it's a start.

I'm sick of this country.

My official diagnosis for anxiety is actually generalized anxiety disorder, but idk. I think most of my anxiety is social anxiety. But a lot of it is also "free floating" anxiety, meaning there's no real obvious trigger or reason for it. But that mostly happens at work.

The Ace Theist blog might have some entries on it, I remember that being a resource for me back in the day: https://theacetheist.wordpress.com/

So, if I ever develop an alterous and/or somewhat romantic attachment to anyone else, I would basically want a very close friendship.... maybe live together, but if not, just be able to talk and message each other any time, preferably very frequently. Sort of a "best friend" status, but with the expressed commitment to each other that we intend to stay in touch frequently and support each other. Lots of vulnerability and emotional intimacy. No romance or sex.

Only you can decide how you identify in the end :)

So I identify as grey-ace. There is a bit of controversy over "sex favorable aces" and how that is defined. Personally I'm more of the opinion that asexuality and sexual attracted is defined by an intrinsic desire for sexual activity, not necessarily being particularly attracted to specific persons. For me, a sex favorable ace would be one who enjoys participating in sexual activity when with an allosexual partner, but doesn't desire it for themselves and would be happy in a completely sexless relationship. But you may feel and conclude differently than I, and others in this thread might disagree with me as well. And that's okay. I ID as grey-ace because I do experience "sexual desire" in some degree. I think of myself as "lithsexual", meaning that I can be attracted to people and I can desire sexual relations in some sense, but I don't actually want it to come to fruition.

Sooo. I recently began identifying as libragender/mostly agender. I believe that most people have this idea of "I'm an X" somewhere in their mind. Sometimes that idea doesn't align with your birth sex. I have some vague notion of being female, but 99% of the time I don't "feel" like anything gender-wise. My gender is a void with a teeny tiny nucleous of "girl" that I only rarely "feel". It's not connected to being feminine or masculine for sure, since people can identify as a man and yet enjoy being feminine and someone can identify as a woman and yet enjoy being masculine, etc. But at the same time, being masculine or feminine can be affirming to someone's identity. So yeah. I tend to think gender is just some weird designation in your mind.

dang, you got far!

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US, grew up in a religious, fundamentalist home. Was never pushed to be married really, but y'know. Everyone expects it and they tend to assume if you're not interested in the opposite sex you must be gay. (Which I sorta am, but just barely.) My parents actually had some kinda concept of aroace without realizing it though, my mom for instance used to say that "some people just don't have crushes, and that's okay". And my stepdad was like "well the Bible actually encourages singlehood, maybe God doesn't want you to get married". This was before I had learned of aromanticism or asexuality myself.

Not everyone experiences romantic attraction the exact same way, but only you can decide if it was or not. Perhaps you had a squish, which is a "friend crush"? Squishes can feel very similar to a crush.

Everything I can find says the spade is for aro aces

I love being aro and wouldn't want to be any other way :)