Collie

I very much identify as aromantic. However I am definitely in the grey area as I have one romantic attachment that has persisted for years now. I'm publicly out as gay/a lesbian, this being because I want to be a voice for good in the Christian religious community. And it's not wrong, I mean: the person I'm in love with is a woman, and I am a woman. But I also identify as "mostly aromantic". I feel like I almost have to "hide" my aromantic identity, because people outside of the aro and ace communities (and sometimes within the communities) don't understand the grey area. I don't regret being out as lesbian. Not at all. But it's sometimes a bit of whiplash having both identities at once. Sometimes I'm like "yeah man, I'm soooo aro". And then other times I'm like "yeah man I'm soooo gay", lmaooo.

I actually kinda like the design. I'm not romance repulsed, but it's kinda a nice change from the standard "colored stripes" most pride flags have going on.

Sometimes sex just feels completely foreign to me. Like..... people really do that? It's not an urban legend??

I don't actually know. But aces who are alloromantic definitely have a gender they are attracted to. I think it's because at some level, most people are wired to be attracted to others. For most, sexual and romantic attractions tend to align. For those who it does not, those preferences for gender still remain.

Yep. It feels very similar to a crush, the main difference is you don't want to be romantic partners.

Gonna go ahead and lock this while the staff takes time to review

I have ADHD, OCD, social anxiety, seasonal depression, and a couple phobias. None of my therapists have said anything bad about me being aro or ace.

I'd encourage you to shop around. Talk with the therapist before you commit to therapy with them. I live in the deep south also, and all of the therapists I've seen have been LGBTQ accepting. I actually am currently getting therapy through BetterHelp..... controversial, I know. (The gist is they have had iirc, lawsuits over underpaying their therapists.) And the site is very hit and miss as you can be matched with a sucky therapist. I happened to be very fortunate to strike gold on my first match: my therapist actually teaches psychology to undergrads and therapy is more of a side job for her. She is actually the best therapist I've had so far. The problem is cost.... BetterHelp does offer options for low income and stuff, but not sure how they would accommodate someone who still lives with parents and (presumably) doesn't have an income of their own yet. (Sorry if I'm making too many assumptions, OP.)

Yes but actually no? I have an autistic friend. He used to make me uncomfortable, until I learned he was severely autistic and couldn't read body language, tone of voice, or take any sort of hints. We eventually became friends. Poor guy only has eyes for me. Sometimes if you tell him stuff, he'll forget it and need to be reminded or told multiple times. We've had multiple talks about how I'm not interested in dating him or anybody. Every once in a while he'll ask me if I want to date him and I'll remind him that friendship is fine, but that we've already talked about the relationship part and that I'm entirely uninterested. I don't get the vibe from him that he's taking advantage of anything. He is pretty genuine.

There is such a thing as "aesthetic attraction", which doesn't necessarily mean you are romantically or sexually attracted to them. You just think they look hella nice, with this type of attraction. I identified as grey-biromantic for a long time before deciding I'm actually a lesbian. Explore your feelings in safe and appropriate ways, and you'll figure it out in time :) You can always identfy as "bi-curious" until you're sure

Aro for sure. I'm less certain of my asexual identity, though I'm still pretty content with it. I like the ace flag cuz it has my favorite color (purple), but I am reminded so much more of how aromantic I am being around alloromantics all the time..... being asked if I have a significant other or if I want one, people talking about the kind of person they're attracted to, etc. I mean, sex comes up sometimes, but mostly people seem to talk about the romantic side of things.

Is being aromantic and a furry part of voidpunk culture? 🤔 (I heard of this term the other day and apparently it's often used in a-spec spaces as an embrace of non-humanness, since we are sometimes accused by allos of not possessing enough human qualities due to our lack of sexual and/or romantic attraction.)

If the aromantic label resonates with you, feel free to use it. If later on you do develop romantic attraction (it could happen), you can just drop the label, no big deal.

Type: voidpunk aro Rep: aroace only Tarot: cups Flag: aromantic

Yeah, take your time to figure it out. Your description sounds spot-on for aromanticism to me, but in the end you're the one who gets to decide what you believe you are.

You ever just feel aromantic as hell?

Because I am in love with one of my friends but otherwise do not experience romantic attraction or desire a romantic relationship

None. But now I have mostly anime posters. And fan art I've bought at conventions

Yeah. I have had several guys express interest in me, and it's awkward as heck. One of my good friends (who is mentally disabled) keeps saying he wants to date me and I have to keep telling him I don't like him like that. Another friend asked me out last year, but at least he's been understanding about my rejection. Another guy hasn't expressed interest to my face but I suspected it and he tried to get a job at my workplace while apparently telling my boss how great he thinks I am. Like, if you like me and want to ask me out, that's fine, shoot your shot I guess. I'll say no, but still. But don't be weird or creepy or persistent about it.

Ugh. So one of my friends is trying to set me up with her god parent. To explain, I'm out as gay, not aro or greyaro. So I told her upfront: "if he just wants a friend that's perfectly fine. But I'm gay, I don't want a man." And yet she's still trying to set me up saying he likes me. I'm going to shit bricks.

I think the individual stuff people can experience with a crush vs squish can vary, like some might get aesthetic attraction to a crush or a squish or they may get it with one and not the other. I'd define a squish or a crush by what you want out of it. A crush, you at some level want a romantic relationship. A squish, you just really really admire them and n some cases want to be the best of friends. By what you're describing, the one you're calling a squish does sound like a squish.

How old are you, and do you still live with parents? I'd probably wait until you move out to come out tbh

Yep. Have it tacked up over my window. My cat managed to pull one side down though 😅