Apex

I don't think you sound like a horrible person, you and your gf just have conflicting social needs. She sounds like a pretty romance- and affection-oriented person when it comes to relationships, and it can be difficult for people like that to understand why their partner doesn't want the same thing (and vise-versa.) When their partner doesn't reciprocate it can be hurtful, but that isn't anyone's fault. You could definitely be somewhere on the aromantic spectrum (I pretty much only like romo stuff in fiction/daydreams myself) or you could be an allo person who isn't into romantic gestures and needs their space. It depends on what feels most authentic to you. And I'm sorry that she hasn't been taking what you say seriously. I think you should tell her how you felt when she pushed your boundaries- that isn't something that'll resolve itself.

I've been playing Pokemon Y the past few days! This isn't my first time playing it, but it's my first time actually trying to finish it lol. I'm at the 7th gym rn and this is the furthest I've ever gotten. (I love Pokemon but I'm really bad at finishing the games 😅)

I'm in a similar scenario and man those apartment prices. In nearly every city I've looked at, studios and 1BRs are ~1500 (USD) a month. And I know that's on the low end compared to some places. Until recently I was renting a 3BR with 2 friends, and that was really nice and affordable. But then we had to go our separate ways so I'm currently living with my mom. Given how expensive everything is getting, I might just stay with her for a bit because we both like it.

I've posted about this before but I was around 13-14 when I first started identifying as aro, and now, at 25, I'm definitely still aro. Conversely, I've known people who were aro/ace throughout highschool and then suddenly got crushes in their 20's. Identity is weird. It doesn't matter whether or not something is a "phase" and having a "phase" isn't a bad thing. We all change throughout our lives. And even if we don't change, the words we use to describe ourselves might. What's important is, does it matter to you now? Does being aroace feel authentic to you? Then you can be aroace. Maybe you'll be aroace forever, maybe not, but either way it's rude that people are disrespecting this part of you. Also, traveling with cats and friends sounds awesome.

The AroAce Database has a list of aro characters in fiction. A good portion of them are also ace but there are non-ace characters listed too

I don't think you should ghost him. Ask if he wants to stay friends; tell him that you like hanging out with him and that you don't have too many hard feelings about the relationship. If he also wants to be friends, then great! If it feels weird to him, then you can at least part ways amicably.

Aggressively Arospec has aro movies monday, but those are text format and shorter than actual reviews.

Type of aro: Nonhuman/alterhuman aro (true!) Aro rep: Appearance headcanon fodder (why did these questions read like a quiz I'd take in 2008? 😂) Aro tarot: Pentacles. "You don't know where being aro will lead you, but you own it and make the best of your life anyway." I like this ^^ Aro flag: Aromantic

I have mixed feelings about big brand pride merch On one hand: It means that queer identities are becoming more widely accepted, and certain identities (like aromantic) are becoming more visible. On the other hand: It's capitalism and big companies mostly see queer people as another potential demographic to make money off of. They don't actually care. I don't think it's wrong to buy the merch though. I've seen some pretty cute designs, but I've also seen some totally useless cash-grab-y ones.

I don't think we need a new flag. As far as meanings go, most people don't pay too much attention to what different colors on flags mean. I didn't even remember what they represented until this thread tbh. But also, as was previously stated, the aro flag is already well-established. Plus it has a nice color palette (whether one likes the colors or not, they have a good amount of contrast without being too bright imo.) As someone who is neu aro I don't mind the black stripe; the stripes aren't supposed to represent every aro (just like how not every aro is greyro like the grey stripe, or experiences platonic attraction like the white stripe) they're just supposed to be inclusive of a variety of experiences. I also don't think it needs to be redesigned again, because the current flag is the third(?) version technically. Over a decade ago the flag looked like this: And then there were talks of redesigning the flag because almost nobody liked it. In 2014 this one was posted to Tumblr: Then yellow got replaced with white due to some people being sensitive to that color, and I'd say that the current aro flag has been widely used since 2014-15. Not that well-established flags can't ever be redesigned or replaced, but I remember it took a while for us to get to the current flag, & am not sure if we need another serious round of discussions about it. But if you want to use an alternative flag or one that removes the black stripe, you're certainly free to do so.

Mint chocolate chip is my favorite too! I've truly found my people. I also like vanilla, cookie dough, rocky road, fudge brownie, strawberry, sorbets... I'm not picky 😅

I would if I had a partner (or close friend) and we'd been together for a few years, and we both wanted to. Like others have mentioned, the legal/financial/medical/housing benefits are hard to pass up. Though I would want a prenup as well. One downside is that it'd be difficult to explain to people that we aren't romantically involved- especially each-others families. I'm either way as far as a wedding goes, I just don't want something really big or expensive, and maybe a broader commitment ceremony might be better than a capital-W wedding.

Romantic orientation, for sure. My sexuality just feels like a mess which is why I choose to not label it (at least not using any of the big orientations like gay, straight, bi, ace, etc.)

IMO the feelings you described are in a gray area where you could call them romo, or you could call them something else. There are alloro people who don't differentiate heavily between romance and friendship, and also alloro people who are blasé about things like marriage (and even outright reject it.) But those are also things that arospec people can experience. Emotions, relationships, and orientations don't always fit into neat boxes so I think you should go with whatever feels most authentic and comfortable to you.

Agreeing with the others that you should do your talk on amatonormativity rather than alloromanticism itself. There's nothing harmful about being alloro, and issues that crop up in romantic relationships can also crop up in platonic ones. Plus amatonormativity can create difficulties for everyone, not just aros, which will give you more to talk about and help you connect with your (presumably majority alloro) audience.

Because gender norms suck place unrealistic expectations on pretty much everyone. I hope things change soon & it becomes more acceptable for men to have close platonic relationships

I can relate. I don't call myself gray because I have terms that fit me better (neu aro and medusan) but I am technically gray. And yeah, one of the reasons why I don't vibe with graysexuality is because it's seen as inherently ace-apec. I have kinks, I draw and enjoy NSFW content, and sex is important to me even though I rarely have it and rarely experience attraction. I know none of those things disqualify me from being ace-spec but it just wouldn't feel right to call myself that. I don't want to "pick a side" so I prefer to describe my sexuality in other ways.

Hey, I'm the same way. I can have strong feelings (both romantic and sexual) towards fictional characters, but those feelings are pretty much nonexistent IRL. I've only had 2-3 "crushes"(???) on real people throughout my life, and the emotions were dulled compared to what I experience in fiction. It's cool to see other people like me, because it can feel awkward explaining that I'm an aromantic person who knows what romantic attraction feels like. Whether or not you include fiction when labeling your orientation is up to you. IMO fiction is like a separate axis of attraction, and incongruence between fictional and irl orientation happens with both a-spec people and non a-spec people. For example lesbians can still be attracted to fictional men, and there's a phenomenon within the furry fandom called "furry bi" where people are straight/gay irl but bisexual when it comes to furry characters. And then there are people who, for example, label their overall orientation as bi because they're attracted to multiple genders in fiction and that's important to them. There's also fictosexual and fictoromantic, which are terms you might find useful! You're free to call yourself gray, or fictosexual/romantic, or aromantic, or multiple labels at once. I've used all of these terms at different times. Right now aromantic fits best because I don't feel the need to include fiction when signalling my orientation to others, even though fictional attraction is still very meaningful to me. But in the past I've called myself fictoromantic instead of aromantic because it was more dominant in my life at the time. And I am still ficto, I just don't really use it as a label unless I'm trying to explain stuff :v I've definitely run into those "what if I'm just picky?" worries. And "what if I'd be able to experience IRL attraction if I stopped crushing on characters?" But I've been this way my whole life and nothing has really changed. I've waited my whole life to find people attractive but it just doesn't happen. I've had deep friendships and none of them have turned romantic. At this point I've just accepted that this is how I am. Also, like you mentioned, if my favorite characters became real I don't know if I'd still be attracted to them. I like them more when they look 2D, and I think some of their personalities would just bother me if we actually interacted 😄 When it comes to fictional attraction, there's this notion of "oh, you just need to find someone who's like that character in real life!" but it's not always so simple. Maybe things will be different for you, and you'll start experiencing crushes or find a special someone. But if you don't, there's nothing wrong with that and you definitely aren't alone.

Honestly I haven't gotten tired of it at all. I like love/yearning/etc songs as much as other subjects, even if I can't directly relate to the meaning. Regarding music that isn't (explicitly) about romance, Aggressivelyarospec has Aro Tunes Thursday, where followers can submit songs with aro vibes. There are a ton of playlists and I figured people here might appreciate them.

This is pretty much what I had in mind- I think putting it under Visibility, Articles & Meetups is a good idea

I have two characters in my story who are canonically aro and in a QPR, Julia and Yuli (Yuli is a shapeshifter which is why they look like a fox.) But honestly I have a few more characters who are probably arospec in some way even if it isn't confirmed. And then the plot barely involves romance, so there are even more who could be headcanoned as aro without having to change/ignore anything in canon. I try to give my characters variety when it comes to orientation though.

Oh dang, I didn't realize there were other alterhuman & nonhuman people here! I'm otherkin, and partially identify as human. Whether or not I feel connected to humanity is a complicated question... I don't mind living as a human, I feel a sense of kinship with humans, I get along with others, etc. I don't particularly enjoy being seen as 100% human but it also isn't a huge pain. However, due to multiple things (my aromanticism, my neurodivergence, me being non/alterhuman, etc) I'm left feeling quite separated from others, including groups that I belong to. I think I actually feel the least separated from other arospec people and other non/alterhumans. I guess I feel connected to humanity as a whole, on a basal level, but that connection falters once you "zoom in" and begin comparing me to my peers.

I think an essay/writing forum could be a good substitute for blogs. Blogs on forums have always seemed a bit hidden for me, and not everyone would use theirs. I also second having an 18+ forum.

For reference, I graduated in 2015. High school just sorta... happened, lol. It took me a while to find a group of friends, but once I did I didn't stray too far from that group. None of us were super interested in romance/sex (at least not openly) even though I'm pretty sure I was the only one who was aspec. I was never teased or interrogated about who I liked. I heard some gossip about who was dating who but it never seemed like a big deal. I don't remember there being too much PDA or anything like that, nor can I remember an identifiable hierarchy (let alone one based on romance/sex). Some people were more popular than others but it wasn't like how Popular Kids TM are portrayed in fiction. I'm sure a lot of it sailed right past me- I have a natural tendency to be separate from parts of society, and to not get wrapped up in things like that, due to neurodivergency and other traits. So I never really felt left out due to me being aromantic. But I do struggle with puberty narratives because of my experience (both in terms of romance and sex), I have difficulty relating to the way a lot of other people describe that time in their life.

I prefer to not openly name my FOs/comfort characters/blorbos/whatever, but I'm a selfshipper and all of my current ships are squish-y. I can feel a broader range of attraction towards fictional characters- in the past I've had full-blown, very serious crushes on them. But lately most of my attraction has been "I like them, is it platonic? Maybe a little romantic? Oh well I don't care as long as I'm having fun lol" In short there's a handful of characters that I'd be down to simply vibe with