So I'm a bit of a silly case. Majority of my crushes (for me that's sustained romantic and sexual attraction) have been on fictional characters. I enjoy writing and fantasizing about romance and sex, but it's within a fictional world and focused on fictional characters. I know what the attractions feel like and can distinguish them (at least with fictional characters I can), and I consider myself romance-favorable in real life.
When I do have a crush on a real person (which is rare), it's not nearly as intense as it is for these fictional characters. I think there's only one person I can definitely say I had sustained sexual and romantic attraction to, and even that, while strong, wasn't on the level of some of my character crushes. We were apart for years and it's arguable I was in love with a memory and not the actual person. He's the last real person crush I've had, and I started crushing on him way back in 2014.
I am capable of forming deep bonds with real people; one of my best friends feels like "the one", and our relationship and my current attraction to her isn't romantic or sexual. I thought it was those attractions in the beginning until my tempestuous emotions settled into what they are today—a very engulfing love that's deeply platonic if not something beyond. The one person I did date when I was younger I feel strongly for too, and he's another person I'm pretty sure I confused deep platonic attraction for romantic attraction, since soon after I broke it off, things felt right again. I feel intensely for him and crave his company but in what I heavily suspect is deeply platonic, as the recent hint of him possibly having romantic interest in me sorta squicked me out.
The fact that I can feel romantic attraction in fiction is what really stumps me. I've heard you can be arospec/acespec and still be into fictional characters, since that's not necessarily always reflective of what you like/want/are attracted to in real life. But at the same time, it makes me wonder if I'm allo and just not meeting the right people and thus overthinking everything. Does this sound like greyromanticism? Or perhaps just a pickiness when it comes to real people? There's plenty of perfectly logical people I could've had a crush on, but didn't, so I'm pretty stumped.