Apex

Welcome to the forum! What kinds of stuff do you like to draw if I may ask?

Not aroace but some of my favorite songs are love songs ? Like Florence + the Machine's Cosmic Love- it's really dramatic and I can't relate to it, but it's one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. Even if I can't share the experiences, I can still appreciate the sound and lyrics. I don't think I've ever disliked a song specifically for being a love song or for being "too romantic."

How can a star live on the moon? ? Checkmate (Also I'm 25)

I can't say for sure if it's an aro thing for you or not, but I experience something similar & do relate it to my own aromanticism. There've been times where I've had feelings strong enough to go "wait, is this a crush?" but after a few days/weeks they disappeared for no reason. It happens with intense squish-y feelings and other types of vague interest as well. It's like I just can't "hold on" to stuff like that. It's frustrating; having it happen a dozen times over (what I assume is) a short timeframe sounds like hell.

Hoo I.. wish this question wasn't so complicated for me to answer! I'm neu aro, meaning that I'm aromantic but don't consider myself aroace or aroallo. In some ways I really do feel like my sexuality is in the middle of those. Sometimes I can really relate to the experiences of aspec people & feel alienated when allosexual people talk about sex, but other times it's the other way around and I feel like a total outsider among ace people. I experience limited attraction but sex is still important to me, to the point where it never felt quite right labelling myself as aspec. I also use the niche term medusan, since I'm alterhuman and most of the attraction I do experience is directed at monsters and people in costumes/masks. It affects my orientation enough for me to find this term useful :v When it comes to gender I'm bisexual. But I rarely call myself that nowadays, because I've struggled so much with my inability to relate to other bi people. I never felt (and still don't feel) "bi enough" (especially because I was never the "omg girls!! I'm so gay!" type, but that's getting off topic).

Definitely not for the foreseeable future. I don't dislike kids, but I have 0 experience with them and am just not ready to be a parent. Plus I totally lack that "omg!! so cute, can i hold them?" instinct that more parental people have with human babies. Oddly enough, a part of me likes the concept of being pregnant, but... I don't think I need more than that ? If I did decide to become a mom, I'd rather adopt an older kid (like 8-13+?) rather than have one of my own.

I don't, nor do I know anyone who does. In fact I had to google it to find out what it was. Has it been co-opted as an aro symbol or something?

I'm also an artist and human faces are something that I struggle with lol. I mainly draw animals/furries/monsters/etc, and my humans always look... not quite right. I need to practice them for sure. & it's weird because I can totally find someone attractive until I see their face :/ I guess it is most likely personal preference, since it doesn't seem too common even among aspec people. I wish I wasn't like this though

I'm fine with allo personally, it has its uses. I do remember "allo" being an Ace Discourse TM thing on Tumblr back in ~2014-17 though. People were told that it was offensive because it "lumps straight and gay/bi people together" and that aces shouldn't use it. I'm not on AVEN but some of the apprehension towards it might stem from that.

https://www.aroacedatabase.com/ has a lot on it!

Dang I wanna be Nightwalker's friend too, they look really cool

i say we let the man dance

It varies for me. Lately I've been checking once a day or every few days, but I was absent for a over a year before that.

I've been jealous of friends' relationships when I had 0 romantic feelings myself, it happens.

So, I have this weird thing where I find faces unattractive. I can tell when someone has a nice or conventionally attractive face, I can think someone is pretty, but there's also this huge disconnect. Something just seems a little off and I'm not sure why. I think I'd still be aromantic regardless of whether I liked faces or not. But I feel like this impacts my ability to have relationships, and is a huge limiting factor sexually. For the record I don't feel this way about the rest of people's bodies. I thought maybe it had to do with neurodivergence/possible ASD, but people told me that it sounded more like an aromantic thing. Do any fellow aros experience this? Is it an aro thing that just doesn't get talked about? Is it an ace thing? Something else?

Like you, I also pictured myself being affectionate and romantic, and able to easily enjoy sex. Both of which have also proven to be untrue. Even though I've been identifying as aro for ~a decade, there were so many times where I was still just waiting to find someone attractive. Like it should happen at some point, right? And I do get lonely, and lately that's been weighing on me quite a bit. I know romantic relationships aren't always stable, and that the commitment isn't a guarantee that your partner won't hurt you in some way, but at the same time I know it would be easier for me to find a partner if I was alloromantic. I think it would be easier for me to have that security. I'm by no means old, but as I get older I think it weighs on me more. I'm probably also in a multi-year-long process of grieving my sexuality, because I definitely expected (and demanded) myself to be more sexual throughout my life. Society puts a HUGE emphasis on it and media (music, art, erotic lit/smut) makes it seem so fun, esp. casual sex. The reality that I'm less sexual than the idealized version of myself has been a lot to grapple with; it's been really difficult at some points, and confusing because I'm not totally asexual. It's normal to grieve these things. Especially in a society where romance and sex can color so much of our interactions with others, and where we're presumed to need a romantic+sexual relationship in order to be happy. I don't think feeling crappy about it is feeding into negative ace/aro stereotypes- you deserve to feel your feelings and to cope. If someone sees you as "proof" that all aces/aros are miserable then that's 100% on them and you should be running in the other direction lol.

It highly depends on the couple- both how openly affectionate they are and how stable the relationship is. I typically don't mind it, but most couples in my life right now are fairly low-key and easy to be around. I wouldn't want to be around a couple who were obsessively making out or being all cutesy the whole time, and I definitely wouldn't want to be around a couple who fought. I've lived with two couples so far as an adult. One of those experiences was bad (the relationship wasn't healthy), while the other was good and I had 0 issue with it.

Welcome to the forums ? I hope they help you figure things out. Your English is fine btw ^^

Ah, this kinda fits me. Although I don't think "includes self in sexual fantasies" warrants the coining of a new term- aegosexual could cover both experiences. As for whether this "counts" as aspec I'd say yeah, but I can also see people experiencing this and considering themselves low-libido or sex-neutral/repulsed allosexuals.

Yeah, original character.

Comfort characters are definitely a thing, and are pretty common for people to mention in fandom spaces nowadays (that's actually what people call them too). It doesn't mean that you need a partner, like others mentioned comfort characters can be platonic. And even if they aren't, there's a difference between liking a character and wanting a relationship with a real person. I've been daydreaming about my favorite characters since I was a kid, and I just turned 25 so I think you're fine ?

In my limited experience with attraction, my feelings fluctuated a lot too. I can't tell you what you are, but for me, the fact that my attraction never stayed strong/intense for long (and either went away completely or became more squish-y) helped solidify that I was arospec. Also I know you've probably heard it a million times, but it's ok to change and to try out different labels. Maybe your orientation just needs time to "settle" and you'll end up finding that alloromantic fits you best, or an arospec label- either way is fine ?

AFAIK it depends on who's involved. Two people might agree that their relationship is deeper and more entangled than a traditional friendship, and be like "yeah I guess we're QP" and leave it at that. For two more people, their QPR is a committed relationship, and they could consider themselves significant others due to that. Though I can also see QP partners being uncomfortable using the term "significant other" because of its romantic connotations. For me, I'd like a more committed QPR and would most likely see my partner as a significant other.

This is hit or miss but I vibe with it so

I've been asked out a few times, and if it's a stranger I usually default to lying. "Oh, I have a boyfriend", "I just got out of a relationship", "I like girls", etc. But I do regret handling it like that because I don't think it's the best way. With people I know, it's more "Sorry I'm not interested" or "Sorry I don't feel the same way"