Apex

I dislike the concept of "imperfect rep" overall, and how it's crept into queer communities. I especially dislike how it causes people to put pressure on queer creators to have "The Right Kind" of rep when that doesn't even exist. It's something that I worry about since two characters in my web serial are aro, but they're both a specific flavor which was based on the rep I wanted to see. People are imperfect and identity is broad and complicated. There are many types of aro people, so there can be many types of good aro rep. I think it's important to have canonically aromantic characters who feel no romantic attraction, don't date, etc. and it's important to have aro characters who don't fit that stereotype. One type of aro rep doesn't negate or harm the others. Nonmerci summed it up really well- diversity is important. And the more aro characters we have, the more diverse experiences that get shown, and there will be more aro people who feel seen. I do think it's good to have ""simple aro"" representation for educational purposes. But those types of aros also exist and they might just want to create rep that fits their experiences. Conversely, ""complex aro"" rep can also help introduce new ideas to allos. If they don't get it, then it's on them to learn more.

Surprisingly I don't have anything from fursonapins I knew about their pride flags but the pride pals and Sawyers are new to me; they're so cute! Also nice to be reminded that the furry unity flag exists, I like how the colors are similar to the genderNH (nonhuman) flag lol.

There is, unfortunately, a good amount of infighting in the LGBTQ+ community. The main arguments against aspec inclusion (that I've seen at least) are Aspec identities are subject to different forms of discrimination and oppression than LGBT identities, or not subject to oppression at all. Which if you actually do research you'll find isn't true Straight aros and aces aren't "real" LGBTQ+, which also doesn't hold water because straight trans people exist Aspec identities are internalized homophobia. This ignores the fact that that argument has also been used against bi/pan and trans people There are people who could call themselves aspec, but they prefer allo labels, so why do you need to be ~special~? This doesn't make sense as an argument because you could apply it to nearly every identity. There will always be people in the outgroup with traits of those in the ingroup and vise-versa ngl I feel like a good portion of aspec exclusion is just people wanting to target others out of a misplaced sense of anger and self-righteousness. Aspec, m-spec, multigender/genderfluid people, etc. etc. have all gotten flak, sometimes it honestly depends on which group is more "acceptable" to pick on at any given time.

Thank you! It looks nice 👍

Is the dark theme available for everyone? I've looked all over my profile and settings and can't find it 😅

This is a big difference I feel too. I understand attraction for the most part but asking out people who are practically strangers is confusing. Like how you're supposed to get to know someone while dating. And then there are the times where you match with people on dating sites n stuff and suddenly they're really into you and gung-ho about dating even though they don't know you at all- and by you I mean me lol This too! I really don't get why people will stay in a relationship that's obviously making them unhappy. If you don't like your partner anymore then break up with them. (I mean I think married couples and long-term partners should try to work through their issues, but if things go south after a year or two? hit the bricks) Another difference I feel is just... the path that my life is on. I'm different from most of my friends because I'm not in a relationship. I'll have to make different decisions regarding things like money, housing, etc. unless I end up in a serious QPR. I love the idea of living with friends but I'm the only aro person I know, and everyone else seems to think of those situations as temporary until they find a romantic partner to move in with.

My faves are sunflowers, moss (Bryophyta in general), and Thismia fairy lanterns I love quaking aspen too!! I got to see a bunch when I was in Colorado last summer. I hadn't expected them to be that big lol. Very beautiful trees Ayy nice to see another pine fan 😄

Sorry for the double-post, but I discovered r/qprapplications and thought it'd be worth sharing!

A relationships app/site geared towards aspec people is something I've wanted for a long time. Especially one that's open to a variety of relationship types that aro and ace people can pursue- like aroallo people, sex- and romance- favorable people, gray and demi people, both partnering and nonpartnering people, etc. As someone who's aro and wants a partner/qpp, and who's sex-favorable but experiences limited attraction, traditional dating apps have been a bust for me because those places are geared so strongly towards allo-allo people (even if you're just looking for a hookup). I've tried tinder multiple times and it always leaves me disappointed lol There's A-Cafe (reddit), but it's been in development for a while and I'm not sure when it's slated to release (it's been delayed a few times IIRC). Then there are some ace dating subreddits and discord servers, but I don't know of anything geared towards aros unfortunately.

Romance in music doesn't bother me. I can still appreciate the sound, relate the music to my OCs, interpret the song as being about a different type of relationship, or just enjoy the VibesTM- because even though I can't relate, I still appreciate how romance can evoke powerful emotion and visuals in things like music and poetry. Many of my favorite songs are about romance, like Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine.

I think I'll have to go with the original Lion King movie I love the leviathan scene in this one so much

I can't say whether or not it's a crush but it's not uncommon to have feelings for fictional characters that you wouldn't have towards real people. I experience a much wider range of attraction in fiction, including romantic attraction. Even if what you're experiencing isn't attraction per se, it could still be a type of "obsession" or "love" or "excitement" that you don't feel IRL. A lot of people have intense feelings about their fave characters 😄

For roleplaying: I've done romantic RPs before and didn't have trouble with it. Both with writing characters experiencing romantic feelings, and with having the other player's characters experience romantic feelings towards mine. But I'm also a selfshipper so my perceptions are a bit skewed there. For writing: I don't have anything against writing romance, but it's far from a priority. I really enjoy being a creator and getting the chance to express my identity and ideals through my work- part of that involves focusing on nonromantic relationships. The two main partnerships in the series I'm currently writing are nonromantic (with one explicitly being a QPR), and none of the main characters are romantically involved or that hung up about being single. I do plan on including some romance in the future though, and I don't think I'll have trouble with writing it. But my perspective will probably be different than the perspective an allo person writing for an allo audience would have. If I was gonna write a story that had a heavy focus on romance, I think it'd have to be a human/monster situation or something similar 😅 I have little interest in "normative" romance and being aro plays a part in that.

Sexuality is a broad topic. Some aspects of my sexuality were present before puberty (certain kinks, preferences, etc) but that stuff didn't involve Sex. Actual sexual feelings started when I was around 11-12 and were definitely a thing by the time I was 13-14. My attraction is limited so I can't really say that I've become more sexual as I've grown up, it's just presented in various ways. For reference I'm almost 26. I do think my aromanticism affects it. Like I said, there are things that limit my sexual attraction, and my lack of romantic attraction adds to that. I don't have the opportunity to develop sexual feelings via romantic ones.

Hey, this sounds really difficult and I'm sorry you're going through it. Is his family super religious? Are they encouraging this? From what his sister said, it sounds like he needs help. Being christian is one thing, but not eating, talking to god, and talking about the rapture is another- especially if this all started very suddenly. If it's safe for you to do so, could you and his sister tell a teacher about what's happening?

Were you romantically attracted to/infatuated with her at some point, and it just never turned into anything "more"? Did it fade over time, or did you not feel romantic attraction at all? In regards to the depression, have you had any treatment for it? If so, did your symptoms improve? Because if they did, but you still had a lack of attraction, then I'd say it's probably not your depression But either way, if you don't feel romantic attraction then you can call yourself aromantic. Even if it is a symptom of your depression. If calling yourself aro feels right to you, then you can use the label. Cuddling also doesn't have to be inherently romantic, a lot of aro spectrum people like to cuddle.

It's possible to be aro and still have/desire close, committed relationships; a good amount of QPRs would fall into that category. I can't tell you whether or not you're aro, but you describe does sound different than what alloro people experience. I do think you should tell them though. Keeping it from them will make things hurt more in the long run. If they're already happy in the relationship, they might be open to a mixed alloro-aro relationship or a QPR.

Neu aro is "neutral"- someone who isn't asexual or allosexual, or who feels like they're in the middle. There's overlap with non-SAM

Two big things I can think of are 1. The assumption that being aroallo means that someone is only interested in hookups and one night stands. Obvs there's nothing wrong with having/wanting casual sex, but not every aroallo is like that. 2. The weird stigmatization against aroallos because they experience sexual attraction without romantic attraction, which somehow makes their attraction "bad" or ""impure"" If you have time, you could also talk about concepts like neu aro and non-sam aro, since ace-allo isnt a binary. But if you're just talking about aroallo then you don't have to mention them

Any relationship still needs communication. It's fine to communicate your confusion to your partner about "advancing" your relationship- what would that advancement look like to either of you? Is it even something you both want? You don't have to "check all the boxes" so to speak, nor do you have to "advance" things in a specific order. But also, if you're currently dating someone, you need to tell them you're aro (assuming that they're allo.) For the most part, people in romantic relationships want reciprocation. If you don't actually have any feelings for your partner, that will end up hurting them in the long run.

I have a gender preference and I honestly don't know lol, it doesn't make sense to me either. I think it's just how my brain is wired.

I don't get celebrity crushes but I do get crushes on fictional characters. I had my first real one when I was in elementary school, about age 10. Before that I had some favorite characters that I liked a lot, but didn't have fully-fledged crushes on (maybe bc I was too young?) I've heard alloro people talk about having crushes around the same age (or earlier) which confuses me even though I had adjacent experiences.

I'd be down for an adults-only forum, but 18+ would be more reasonable than 25+. 25 seems like an arbitrary cutoff and isn't old in the grand scheme of things.

Can you go with a group? That's what I did for prom. I never went to homecoming though so idk if there are stricter "rules" I don't think you should go if you don't want to. In the grand scheme of things homecoming really isn't important (like I said, I never went and nobody cared; I think a lot of people at my school didn't go) If someone asks you and you don't want to go with them, politely turn the offer down. Saying "I'll think about it" makes them hopeful for a potential yes

Ooh, the premise sounds neat. I might have to check this out!