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Cheerio

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About Cheerio

  • Birthday 11/16/1999

Personal Information

  • Name
    Kaitlyn
  • Orientation
    aro/ace
  • Pronouns
    she/her/hers
  • Occupation
    student

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  1. Welcome, it's nice to meet you! Also congrats! Finding a label to characterize your feelings and experiences must feel super enlightening and relieving, I know that it was for me anyhow! ? As for your question, I think that if you're comfortable with telling your ex and if you want to tell him, then why not?? Otherwise, I'd hate for you to feel obligated to justify yourself to him about aspects of the relationship that you might not have had control over. Also, I think I might have an answer for your profile pic question. I'm not sure about what it looks like on your end, but on your personal page, there should be edit option under your circular icon in the upper left.
  2. This notion is more common than you think, you're not alone! I really resonated with your story and I know other people who would as well. The aros that I know (myself included), have all expressed this desire to one day have a platonic relationship or a found family like you described. User, Erederyn, is right. It's not impossible and you won't be alone forever? . We never know who is going to come into our lives in the future, so don't give up hope that you won't cross paths with someone who shares your feelings. A relationship that you never thought was possible may present itself to you someday!
  3. Hi! I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in feeling like this! While certainly not all, plenty of aro people have also experienced intense squishes that you've described, myself included (which can be so confusing!). But it seems like you've been able to discern that your squishes (as the name implies) are not romantic likes "crushes" would be. You've identified with the term aromantic for a reason and that is 100% valid. The intensity of your squishes doesn't matter and shouldn't deter you from wholly identifying with a label that's been the most reflective of your orientation. The other member on this thread said it perfectly: feelings and their intensity vary among everyone in the community and therefore we all experience our aromanticism in different ways. However, we're all united under the label because it's a convenient way to grasp a very complicated part of our identity.
  4. That was a lovely song! You were right about "remember" being distinct and beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing that!
  5. serendipity, clear, dulcet, honey, quaint, remember
  6. Yep, that'd be cool as well! I'm sure there will be more variety once more people take it!
  7. Oh, don't worry, I'm well aware that not everyone shares the same worldview! Otherwise, there wouldn't be a variety of possible outcomes. Even among those who got caring/left liberal, you can tell that we answered the questions somewhat differently based on the percentages themselves. I just thought it was funny how recurring those results were.
  8. Care 86% Loyalty 25% Fairness 58% Authority 48% Purity 72% Liberty 44% Your strongest moral foundation is Care. Your morality is...you guessed it... closest to that of a Left-Liberal.? How interesting that so many of us got similar results.
  9. I'm also an INFJ! We out here lol!!!
  10. It's always really confused me too! So apparently, flirting is laughing a lot at what the other person is saying, lightly teasing them, touching them, maintaining strong eye contact, asking them questions about themselves, complimenting them, etc. To me, this is just a regular, friendly conversation. Needless to say, as someone who is aro/ace, the irony of having a "flirtatious" personality is not lost on me. I guess the difference between flirting and conversing normally, is the subtext. Oftentimes, I think, even non aspec people have trouble distinguishing what is flirting and what isn't.
  11. I too have been feeling like this lately. It's easy to feel alienated, especially when you don't know any aro/ace people online or in real life who can relate to you! A couple of other users on here have said this as well but please feel free to message me (and that goes for anyone else reading this too)! I would love to talk with you guys anytime! This loneliness is difficult to deal with but what's the point of this forum if we don't also use it to help one another through things like this? The best way to combat loneliness is by connecting with one another and sharing our stories/thoughts!
  12. I have also had mixed experiences. Firstly, my mother doesn't think that aro and ace are real orientations. When I told her about what I was feeling, or rather, wasn't feeling, she told me that that's normal because she felt/feels the same way (i.e. my mother is probably aspec and just doesn't realize it lmao). On the other hand, I attend a pretty liberal college so many people here are very understanding and supportive of the LGBT+ community but not everyone knows about aromanticism and/or asexuality. Of the few people that I've told, I've gotten a few "it's probably just a phase" and "maybe you're really just afraid" but I've also gotten positive reactions as well! Sometimes though, it feels as if I'm not really out because I don't have anyone to talk to who is aromantic who will understand, relate to, and care about my identity. I'm reminded of this every time I come out and have to explain what aromanticism and/or asexuality is, while they nod confusedly. Its difficult to talk about with non-aro people even if they are understanding. Despite this, I don't think I've ever regretted telling anyone. It's liberating to feel as if you're no longer hiding part of yourself from other people.
  13. Hi! I'm a 19 y/o college student and your feelings and experiences sound very similar to mine! It's super cool and validating to hear about people older than me who are aromantic because contrary to what people say, aromanticism is not "just a phase". But since I don't have any aromantic people to talk to in real life, I sometimes start doubting myself until I read stories like yours. Thank you!.
  14. Sure! Connie Glynn is definitely a good one. So are yasmin benoit, Blue Pheonix Ace, and Celeste M! All of them have a bunch of stuff about aromanticism. There are also coming out videos by a YouTubers Nik Hamshire and one by Eva Abidin. Their entire channel isn't dedicated to aromanticism but I totally related to and appreciated their coming out videos. Also, if you go onto youtube and just type in "aromantic", things should pop up!
  15. You're not too young at all! I was about 14 when I realized that I was aromantic because, like you, I hated romance in television/books and couldn't understand why I didn't have "crushes" like my friends were describing them. I ignored this discovery and tried to convince myself that I wasn't aromantic for awhile. But now, I'm 19 and I realize that that's what I truly am. If you really have no urge to change the fact that you're not in a relationship, then don't. Your peace of mind and your thoughts on dating are a priority and you shouldn't change that just because you feel pressured to. There's nothing wrong with you for not experiencing the same desires as "everyone else" because there are plenty of aromantic people who feel the same way. For me, what helped with coming to terms with my own aromanticism, was going on youtube and watching other aromantic people sharing their stories. I realized that 1) I could relate to many of their stories and 2) that there were a lot more of us than I had previously thought. The road to self discovery can be difficult, but on arocalypse, there are plenty of people who can support you on your journey! Just know that your feelings are completely valid and that you deserve to live your life any way that you want to live it.
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