Cassiopeia

This was so me...

YMBAI allowing yourself to experience discomfort in romantic situations, and/or getting out of these situations actually feels liberating. I have consented to so many things I did not really want or enjoy but because I was taught that I was supposed to want and enjoy them, so I kind of sucked it up and went along with it. Sometimes because I did not know any better, sometimes because I did not want to hurt someone.

I'm still active on dating sites, and I go on dates (because for me that's just another way to find people I can relate to...and I have an aro coming out section in my profile, and I tell these people what to expect) I'm very physically and verbally affectionate

kiddie one...at least it won't make me as sick wyr wear all white or all chicken yellow for the rest of your life?

Did you have any aromantic moments as a kid? Maybe as a teenager, before you were familiar with the label? I used to hate Disney, and kinda still do. Well, most Disney. (I loved Lion King, cos it wasn't as focused on romantic love as the rest of them...and also, I used to think Simba was female, it had nice long hair, my first language has no gendered pronouns, and six years old me wasn't too well informed when it came to lions, so...anyway, that's another story) So, I used to get repulsed by most of their cartoons, and just leave the room when they started singing. My parents were so amazed by my wonderful taste in music, but looking back, it wasn't really the music itself that made me cringe, but the plot. Anybody else had similar?

No, this is a very real problem, lets talk about it. Heck, even I feel awful and predatory and all sorts of horrible sometimes because of this, and I'm also a girl. No wonder hetero guys started the voluntary celibacy topic. Wanting only sex from someone isn't predatory or misogynist or a bad thing. If you communicate honestly. respect your partner, respect boundaries and ask for consent, then there is nothing wrong with that. Just because you cannot give them your everlasting romantic love, you not going to treat them like a piece of meat... (Not like romantic love ever stopped them anyway? Respect and common decency aren't results of romantic affection?!)

tbh I think people do this on purpose. If somebody is shy, they may send one mutual friend to find out if the person is into them. That is an understandable thing, asking big questions is scary, rejection is tough, etc. But front of a random crowd? That is so immature. I kind of have the feeling that when they do this front of a group, they do so because they want to pressure you into saying a quick yes. Its like proper intimidation. They are not going to have an intimate conversation about how they feel about you or how you feel about them. Seriously. What do these people even think? What kind of relationship do they even expect if that's how they start...? Hopefully they will leave you alone.

I really like kids, under other circumstances I'd probably already have some. But being a single parent isn't exactly easy, and there is too much stuff in my life I would rather not put a child through.

@Zemaddog you got some serious disney prince thing going on there iced coffee and sunshine made me happy today

ITS AMAZING HOW THE VERY MOMENT SOMEONE MENTIONS THE SEXUALITY OF DISABLED, NEURODIVERGENT OR AROMANTIC PEOPLE, EVERYONE SUDDENLY FEELS LIKE AN EXPERT ON ASEXUALITY. FASCINATING.

Banned because your pic looks like a clipart stockphoto (where is it from btw?)

My makeup turned out well, it was sunny, and warm. I finished my book in the park, the birds were singing and everything smelled of flowers. Later on I had some kimchi, a dish my flatmate used to make.

LLAP CAPSLOCKIA

So my first squish was this boy at nursery, called Z. He had extremely rosy and round cheeks, and such a vivid imagination. We would come up with fake stories and spread them among the other kids. We were quite efficient, sometimes we managed to start like two hoaxes per week. Some turned out be so realistic, the adults would investigate... Later on, I had another squish, a girl named P. She had the same birthday as me. It developed into a strong friendship, we were inseparable. Ironically, we had a massive fight because of a shared birthday party (her guests were some spoiled brats and made a massive mess everywhere). After that we became more and more distant. I'm still friends with my most recent squish, who prefers to be called L. I met them at uni, they were just moving into the same dorm. It was a friendship at first sight. I don't think they actually spent a day in that assigned room, we traded rooms and roommates with others as quick as we could. My roommate moved in with her boyfriend, and we convinced theirs that they don't really wanna live on the fourth floor of a building without an elevator We lived together for three years, it was so domestic, so ideal. They had a special way of making coffee, and we cooked for each other all the time. We would not shut up til early morning, chatting, watching movies. They are so intelligent, one those ancient souls. They also helped me through uni and a relationship that was quite distressing, and I'm forever thankful for all of their support. Its been years, but I'm still super excited to see them, although we live far away from each other. We write snail mail to each other by hand, and we always put a little present like a bag of nice tea or a little drawing in the envelope. (Welcome to the "how to confuse the hell out of your alloromantic acquaintances" course. Hand written letters? There is no way that isn't romantic, right?! It has to be. Don't even bother trying to explain.) So yeah, I still consider them a squish. And also a friend.

I HAVE TO STOP BRINGING WORK HOME WITH ME.

Yes, the shyness gets better. But being visibly queer/passing as such in a public place in that context is tough and scary. Especially for women and people who pass as women. Like really scary. You get the homophobic micro aggressions and the objectification. When people think of your identity as a porn category, and treat you as such, its both creepy and infuriating. Even if its not a date, just a coffee with a friend, I don't wanna have men twice of our age walk up to us and ask if they can watch?! I have no idea how homoromantic aces and ace transwomen deal with this, especially if they are sex repulsed. This must be a lot worse for them.

For me it depends on the context. I'd separate PDA (public displays of affection) and PF (public foreplay). A couple on a dinner date, stroking each others hands, making lovey dovey eyes: PDA. A couple in a bar making out while rubbing against each other, hands in each others back pocket: PF I'd say there are places where these things are appropriate, and there ones where its not. I am not sex repulsed, but if I see PF on the damn bus, I do find it gross, its code red. If they do the same thing in a gay bar, where sexuality is one of the key concepts, its yellow/green. If there is some PDA during a lantern lit midnight boat tour, its yellow/green, if they do it while grocery shopping at 10 am, its red. But the fact that I find it okay, it does not mean it does not repulse me. That's like two different things.

I CAN'T FLIRTY NO MATTER WHAT, BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO MAKE SOME FRIENDS. BUT YEAH, IT WAS FUN.

common word

YEAH, I DIDN'T HAVE HIGH HOPES. YOU DON'T REALLY FIND PARTNERS IN THESE EVENTS ANYWAY... MAYBE FOR BATHROOM SEX, BUT THAT'S NOT MY CUP OF TEA (I WAS STILL HOPING, BUT YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T REALLY TALK WHEN ITS SO LOUD.)

American Horror Story is great. The main focus is how people mess up their own lives, so there is romance, but its not cheesy. It has some weird black humour, some like it, some do not. Sense8 is quite interesting and action packed. There is like one episode with Wolfgang and Kala, but they are easy to skip (its netflix anyway). I was hoping that Kala would turn out to be aro, I mean this was directed by gay transwomen, they are good with representation, but unfortunately not. Anyway, still a good one. edit: just that you know, both shows are quite sexual.

SO I WENT TO THIS LESBIAN PARTY. IT WAS ALL RIGHT I GUESS. SUMMARY: THERE WERE LOTS OF CUTE GIRLS ALCOHOL+ESTROGEN MAKES ME WILD OK, I'M GAY AF ANYWAY, I DON'T EVEN NEED TO DRINK TO GET TO THAT STAGE GOT GROPED BY THIS ORANGE FACED MILF WITH THE WEIRD CURLY HAIR??? SENPAI NO.1 DID NOT NOTICE ME SENPAI NO.2 HAD A GIRLFRIEND WHATEVER HAD A RANDOM AROMANTICISM 101 TALK IN THE LADIES TOILET? LESBIANS ARE SINGLE OR MARRIED WITH A MORTGAGE AND 22 CATS, THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN BUT SERIOUSLY THEY MOVE IN TOGETHER ON THE SECOND DATE WHEN LESBIANS GET COUPLEY, ITS INTENSE WHY CAN'T WE JUST BANG LIKE GAY MEN WOULD?

I guess everyone likes their ego stroked? What's not to like? You got someone obsessed with you, wanting you as you are, all their attention, their compliments, their adoration. Its hella satisfying for a while. But it can get really annoying as well, like having a human puppy following you everywhere? And if they start saying overly romantic stuff, trying to win your affections...