Cassiopeia

THERE IS NO WAY EVERYONE IS FROM FINLAND...

I agree, its strange. I got five on it. (Past experiences included.)

But that's why you have the boxes ( they meant to be larger, I'll fix it later), so you can write Y, N, and M into them. You have two at each question, so each person has one box, and they can compare the answers. Y = Yes = I want this / I'm okay with this N = No = Do not want M = Maybe = Not sure if I am comfortable with this/Might be okay under the right circumstances/Willing to experiment with it

Ok, so what should go, and what should stay? ...and I'm the aro stereotype again

Discussing and respecting each others boundaries is extremely important. This sort of talk should come up sooner or later in a sexual setting to ensure mutual consent and explore each others secret desires. Its a more known concept, so your partner is more likely to ask questions like "may I touch your (insert body part)?" or "may I kiss you?" or "how do you like to be touched?". In cases of courtship rituals or romantic gestures.... well its almost unheard of, people just take it for granted. Unfortunately people just assume that the other person would totally appreciate these gestures, and surprising one's partner/love interest with them is also a common thing. (Seriously, if you are a girl, suitors do some random romcom crap to you, out of the blue without asking. It can be quite distressing, especially if you are somewhere on the aro spectrum.) If you have got something like romance repulsion or some sort of trauma/triggers to deal with, you better talk about these things. I guess nobody wants to freak out their QPP/friend/sex partner/other. And the gender roles are also culturally defined, usually men are expected to do these things to win and keep the woman's affections. In reality that arrangement may or may not suit the people involved. In case of same sex partners, the roles may not be so obvious. This is a good way to find out what the other person wants and likes or secretly wishes for. The idea came from @Mark's comment on the QPP request form in the another thread. Although that has some of this, but I agree, its kinda vague. I based the structure of it on sexual yes/no/maybe tick lists like this one (commonly used in BDSM/fetish communities). The idea is that the people involved each get a box to tick, so the preferences are easy to compare (this one is for two persons, but I'm working one a poly version). But instead of sex, I tried to gather some common types non-sexual intimacy and romance coded activities. I used various lists (1, 2) and stuff people mentioned to have issues with on this forum. Anything I should add? Do you find this useful? The first draft looks like this (still cooking, some parts sound really awkward): Y = Yes N = No M =Maybe Courting rituals: Receiving cut flowers □ □ Giving cut flowers □ □ Receiving potted flowers □ □ Giving potted flowers □ □ Receiving a box of chocolates □ □ Giving a box of chocolates □ □ Receiving a small present □ □ Giving a small present □ □ Being invited for a drink □ □ Buying a drink for the other □ □ Being invited for a meal □ □ Buying a meal for the other □ □ Receiving good morning texts □ □ Sending good morning texts □ □ Receiving romantic images/quotes □ □ Sending romantic images/quotes □ □ Dancing closely together in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Preferring to lead □ □ Sharing food □ □ Sharing drinks □ □ Being asked on a date □ □ Asking the other on a date (organizing the date) □ □ Restaurant dates □ □ Cinema dates □ □ Watching romantic movies together □ □ Coffee shop dates □ □ Dance dates □ □ Ice skating dates □ □ Camping □ □ Stay at home dates as host □ □ as guest □ □ “Netflix and chill” as host □ □ as guest □ □ Sex dates as host □ □ as guest □ □ in a neutral location □ □ Other types of dates □ □ person/a ..................................................................................................................... person/b...................................................................................................................... Celebrating anniversaries □ □ Celebrating Valentine’s day □ □ Displays of affection, intimacy: Holding hands in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Walking arm in arm in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Being hugged from the side in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Face to face hugging in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Being hugged from the back in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Hugging the other from the back in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Sitting on the other person's lap in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ The other person sitting on your lap in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Being kissed on the cheek in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Kissing the other person on the cheek in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Being kissed on the lips in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Kissing the other person on the lips in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Being kissed on the neck in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Kissing the other person on the neck in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Being kissed on the back of your hand in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Kissing the other person on the back of their hand in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Being kissed on the back or shoulder in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Kissing the other person on the back or shoulder in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Deep kissing (romantic kissing) in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Making out (sexual kissing) in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Cuddles in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Nuzzling the other person in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Being nuzzled in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Napping together □ □ Sleeping in the same bed □ □ Hugging while sleeping together □ □ I prefer to be the big spoon □ □ little spoon □ □ other □ □ Taking a shower together □ □ Taking a bath together □ □ Having sex in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Playing video games together □ □ Reading together □ □ Talking about personal things with the other □ □ Talking about crushes with the other □ □ Seeing the other person naked □ □ Being seen naked □ □ Receiving a massage □ □ Giving a massage □ □ Getting my hair styled by the other person □ □ Doing the other person's hair □ □ Getting my makeup done by the other person □ □ Doing the other person's makeup □ □ Being fed by the other person □ □ feeding the other person □ □ Borrowing and wearing each others clothing □ □ Lending clothing to the other □ □ Verbal: Being called on pet names, endearments in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Calling the other on pet names, endearments in public □ □ in semi private □ □ in private □ □ Preferred pet name(s) and endearment(s): person/a ..................................................................................................................... person/b...................................................................................................................... Declaring romantic feelings (ie: I love you) □ □ Receiving declarations of romantic feelings □ □ Declaring affection (ie: You are very important to me) □ □ Receiving declarations of affection □ □ I’d like to meet you in person/spend time with you: every day □ □ every 2-3 days □ □ every week □ □ every 2-3 weeks □ □ once a month □ □ other: person/a ..................................................................................................................... person/b...................................................................................................................... I’d like to stay in contact with you: every day □ □ every 2-3 days □ □ every week □ □ every 2-3 weeks □ □ once a month □ □ other: person/a ..................................................................................................................... person/b...................................................................................................................... via person/a email text skype chat app phone call snail mail other: ................................................... person/b email text skype chat app phone call snail mail other: ...................................................

Yeah, that part was super weird. I enjoy being a woman, but the only thing that gets wet while I wash the dishes...you guessed, my hands?! I get it, some people totally do get off on these things, but that has to do with fetishes not gender. I don't even gender household tasks and stuff like cooking? Its basic survival, you feed yourself, you keep yourself and your surroundings clean and mostly functional...everyone does these things. Now that I think about it, its also ableist af. Like it assumes that you hear, that you have allistic standard social skills, that you just can do maths, that you are able to see those tiny pictures, etc.

Pfff. -I'm not American enough for this test. Like the assumption that people own a car or even need one, there were cultural references that I had to google, etc. -I've got dyslexia and dyscalculia, is that a gender identity now? -This thing is very sexist It told me I look androgynous (I'm more like a hard femme), but think/socialize in a feminine way (whatever that means) and drag is neat (Its fun and pretty on others of all genders, but I don't do drag, and I don't have any fetish for crossdressing). ....I guess?

thanks

@Blue Phoenix Ace Would it be possible to create a button for the "Reveal/Hide content" thing, so its easier to use?

Dragon WYR be able to read minds or to manipulate people's thoughts?

Sailor

9

OKAY, BUT WHAT'S THE GAME? ADDITIONALLY WE CAN HAVE A TEAM POTATO AND A TEAM OWL. (WHAT'S WITH THE OWLS ANYWAY?)

@aihpen YES, THE AROCALYPSE ART DEPARTMENT WE SHOULD HAVE AN ASTROPHYSICS VS ART GAME AS WELL

walnut

@aroMa(n)tisse THEN ITS A WIN/WIN

@aroMa(n)tisse WHY DO THEY HAVE TO KNOW?

WELL, THEN I'D ESPECIALLY RECOMMEND IT. THE SENSE OF ACHIEVEMENT WHEN CREATING ART IS A GREAT ANTI-DEPRESSANT, AND IT TECHNICALLY HELPS YOU TO FOCUS AT WORK AS CREATIVITY HELPS TO PRESERVE NEUROPLASTICITY AND REFINES FINE MOTOR SKILLS.

@aroMa(n)tisse WHY NOT NOW? TEXTILE ART IS BEAUTIFUL, NOT JUST WHEN ONE IS RETIRED.

1

cold

Zucchini brownie with ice cream...I'm surprised this isn't explored in the pun thread yet.

8

MACRAME IS NOT KNITTING, ITS KNOTS. YOU DO NOT NEED NEEDLES TO MAKE MACRAME. ITS QUITE TRICKY TO MAKE THEM EVEN, SO I'D SAY ABOUT 1-3 HOURS DEPENDING ON YOUR SKILL LEVEL. KNITTING AN ARM WARMER IS DEFINITELY MORE WORK, AS YOU HAVE TO LEARN TWO TYPES OF STITCHES, AND FOLLOW A SIZE APPROPRIATE KNITTING PATTERN OTHERWISE IT WON'T FIT PERFECTLY. YOU CAN USE DIFFERENT TYPES OF NEEDLES, OBVIOUSLY ITS EASIER TO DO IT WITH 2 THAN WITH 5 NEEDLES, AND ITS IMPORTANT TO HAVE APPROPRIATE TYPE OF YARN. IT WOULD TAKE ABOUT 2-5 HOURS TO LEARN TO KNIT WELL ENOUGH TO MAKE A DECENT ARM WARMER.