YMBAI you needed to pause movies and take 10-15 minute breaks because you felt weirdly fidgety when a kissing scenes started.
YMBAI if when trying to think about what kind of theoretical wedding you would like, you negotiate so much, you basically end up with a non-wedding.
(younger me was so vaguely uncomfortable with the whole thing, I kept making lists of things I don't want. like nah, I'm not going to wear white. no long dresses or tuxes...just boots and jeans and a band t-shirt? nah, I don't want any flowers on me or in my hair. no decorations? nah, I don't want any guests. especially no religious or any other type of official marriage person saying big words. and not going to tell my family, only when its done so they can't make a fuss. we will just like go to the pub, sign some papers or whatever, and go on a holiday? can we sign for five years? maybe ten, that is still foreseeable-ish? can I keep my own room and bed tho? how do people even do this? )