A term for aro who feels no romantoc attraction : zeromantic

[nonmerci]

You know when you're in a conversation and you need to draw a distinction between aromantic as a sublabel for those who feel 0 romantic attraction, and aromantic as the umbrella term for all the aromantic spectrum? And then you end up using a very unsastifying term cause you don't have anyone else? Well that was me last night. Someone asked if aros could fall in love and if you want to be a little more precise than "some do, some can't", vocabulary can be limited. It feels like every aro identity has a sublabel except those who feel zero romantic attraction. It also can create confusion, like if you say "I am aromantic so I feel no romantic attraction", people could answer "the definition of aromantic is little to no romantic attraction", etc. Attemps of labelling I've seen are not great : it adds a word before the word aro like "full" or "complete" or "100%" etc, that all implies that some people are more aro than others. Which is be the best way to put it right?

But anyway tonight I had an idea for a label that, hopefully, doesn't have this problem. It is zeromantic. As you can guess, it is a mixed of zero, for zero romantic attraction, and aromantic. What do you think?

[Picklethewickle]

It sounds cool. It's easy to say. I like how it defines ones own experiences without implying that we have to measure against each other.

[Neon]

I love this. And, added bonus, it's pronounced "zee-romantic", and Z is the last letter in the English alphabet, so for a lot of people, it's literally an end of the spectrum.

[nonmerci]

1 hour ago, Neon said:

I love this. And, added bonus, it's pronounced "zee-romantic", and Z is the last letter in the English alphabet, so for a lot of people, it's literally an end of the spectrum.

Oh I didn't even think about it, you are a genius.

 

4 hours ago, Picklethewickle said:

It sounds cool. It's easy to say. I like how it defines ones own experiences without implying that we have to measure against each other.

Yeah that's the goal. Something neutral. I'm happy you like it! I think I'm going to start using it.

[Ikarus]

I think zee-romantic or zero-romantic are both great terms, the beauty is in their simplicity. In the proper context of a conversation these terms provide clarity without invalidating aromantics on the aro specturm. I love it and didn't realize I needed it until now. It would be interesting to note how allos react to this sublabel.

 

 

Edited April 18, 2024 by Ikarus

[P4R4D0X]

On 4/17/2024 at 3:39 AM, nonmerci said:

You know when you're in a conversation and you need to draw a distinction between aromantic as a sublabel for those who feel 0 romantic attraction, and aromantic as the umbrella term for all the aromantic spectrum? And then you end up using a very unsastifying term cause you don't have anyone else? Well that was me last night. Someone asked if aros could fall in love and if you want to be a little more precise than "some do, some can't", vocabulary can be limited. It feels like every aro identity has a sublabel except those who feel zero romantic attraction. It also can create confusion, like if you say "I am aromantic so I feel no romantic attraction", people could answer "the definition of aromantic is little to no romantic attraction", etc. Attemps of labelling I've seen are not great : it adds a word before the word aro like "full" or "complete" or "100%" etc, that all implies that some people are more aro than others. Which is be the best way to put it right?

But anyway tonight I had an idea for a label that, hopefully, doesn't have this problem. It is zeromantic. As you can guess, it is a mixed of zero, for zero romantic attraction, and aromantic. What do you think?

(im on dark mode and could not read that without turning it off-)

 

Great term! Although, I think people have already tried making it less of a 'scale' with loveless aro (loveless also makes it more intuitive), but this one I find quite interesting (in a good way).

[MondoBilby]

This is a cool idea! I think I may start using this term from now on!

[Kristoph]

It's a very creative term and may be useful for a part of the aro community.

[nonmerci]

Thank you.

 

I just got banned from reddit for 7 days cause they think this term is encouraging division in the community, which I frankly don't understand and it makes me mad, so it is nice to see positive feedback here. The whole point was finding a non-offensive term.

Edited April 20, 2024 by nonmerci

[Mult]

2 hours ago, nonmerci said:

reddit for 7 days cause they think this term is encouraging division in the community

Uh...what the what...

They want aromantic to be an umbrella but don't want people who experience no attraction to have any specific identity? Do they think saying you're "fully aromantic" or "totally aromantic" is not "divisive" or do they want you to just use the "umbrella"?

Ugh 🤦

[Kristoph]

12 hours ago, nonmerci said:

Thank you.

 

I just got banned from reddit for 7 days cause they think this term is encouraging division in the community, which I frankly don't understand and it makes me mad, so it is nice to see positive feedback here. The whole point was finding a non-offensive term.

Encouraging division in the community? Ban? That's an absurd. You didn't cause any harm to anyone by saying: "oh, hey, I think this term may be useful to some people".

Edited April 20, 2024 by Nagito

[nonmerci]

Thank you.

They don't prefer words like "fully aromantic" etc as your post is automatically removed if you use it.

I think it is a case of people knowing something is problematic but not understanding why. There are people who want to aromantic to only mean "no attraction", and I guess they put everybody who says "it would be nice to have a word to say we feel no attraction at all" in the same box, without thinking. It is counterproductive, if you ask me. But I guess it will make me spend more time on arocalypse, it's been a while since I came here. I don't even recognize people ha ha.

[Kristoph]

If there's something negative, then it's their mindset and I'm talking in general about pushing people into using specific terms and only them when we're talking about queer. Queer isn't something you can put in nice boxes that each person would fit. There always will be something that will make a certain person wonder: "is it really this? Or maybe not?" and then you (general "you") create terms and definitions that reflect your experience. I personally prefer calling myself simply "aromantic", but, like, I understand that it may be too vague for another arospec person.

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

😭 Reddit being a goddamn joke as per usual, I see... Well, I personally think it's a lovely term. Does a good job of describing itself without painting anyone as "more" or "less" aro than anyone else. Thank you for inventing it!

[Neon]

On 4/18/2024 at 5:28 PM, P4R4D0X said:

Great term! Although, I think people have already tried making it less of a 'scale' with loveless aro (loveless also makes it more intuitive), but this one I find quite interesting (in a good way).

I think (could be wrong) that @nonmerci means no romantic attraction with zeromantic, not no feeling of any kind of love/not feeling connected to love.

8 hours ago, nonmerci said:

Thank you.

They don't prefer words like "fully aromantic" etc as your post is automatically removed if you use it.

I think it is a case of people knowing something is problematic but not understanding why. There are people who want to aromantic to only mean "no attraction", and I guess they put everybody who says "it would be nice to have a word to say we feel no attraction at all" in the same box, without thinking. It is counterproductive, if you ask me. But I guess it will make me spend more time on arocalypse, it's been a while since I came here. I don't even recognize people ha ha.

The silly thing is is that "zeromantic" fixes both issues. It takes away the weirdness of "fully/vanilla/etc" aromantic AND makes it clear that aromantic =/= no attraction bc there's a different term for it.

But hey. That's reddit for you...

[Rinpochard]

21 hours ago, nonmerci said:

I just got banned from reddit for 7 days cause they think this term is encouraging division in the community

Yeah, I wrote a very long rant just to have it removed because I said that I'm "fully aromantic" to specify my label :/

[Mult]

2 hours ago, Rinpochard said:

Yeah, I wrote a very long rant just to have it removed because I said that I'm "fully aromantic" to specify my label :/

So they punish everyone who tries to express that they experience zero romantic attraction since declaring aromantic as an "umbrella term". 🙄 I shouldn't be surprised. Sounds like they've effectively censored anyone who specifies that they don't experience romantic attraction at all.

There's similar issues in the Asexual community. Strangely some people act like experiencing no attraction at all is either not possible or somehow offensive to those who experience some attraction. I've been told by certain people in the Ace community that I shouldn't say that I will never fall in love because I'm "not a fortune teller". They act like we have to be open to being in a relationship because some people realize they actually do experience attraction later in life and they say that I have to avoid saying "never" or else I'll be "embarrassed" in the future. I have to wonder why they feel like that's their business.

[nonmerci]

20 hours ago, Mult said:

There's similar issues in the Asexual community. Strangely some people act like experiencing no attraction at all is either not possible or somehow offensive to those who experience some attraction. I've been told by certain people in the Ace community that I shouldn't say that I will never fall in love because I'm "not a fortune teller". They act like we have to be open to being in a relationship because some people realize they actually do experience attraction later in life and they say that I have to avoid saying "never" or else I'll be "embarrassed" in the future. I have to wonder why they feel like that's their business.

Strange when the a-spec community should be a safe place where you can say "never"...

Edited April 22, 2024 by nonmerci

[Neon]

20 hours ago, Mult said:

There's similar issues in the Asexual community. Strangely some people act like experiencing no attraction at all is either not possible or somehow offensive to those who experience some attraction. I've been told by certain people in the Ace community that I shouldn't say that I will never fall in love because I'm "not a fortune teller". They act like we have to be open to being in a relationship because some people realize they actually do experience attraction later in life and they say that I have to avoid saying "never" or else I'll be "embarrassed" in the future. I have to wonder why they feel like that's their business.

Yeah, ngl, I do not feel safe in a lot of asexual spaces. They can get really hostile to aro people really quickly. I've ended up just avoiding internet places that are primarily focused on asexuality as a result.

[Mult]

3 hours ago, Neon said:

Yeah, ngl, I do not feel safe in a lot of asexual spaces. They can get really hostile to aro people really quickly. I've ended up just avoiding internet places that are primarily focused on asexuality as a result.

There's a bit of a thing where some people suggest that being romantic but not sexual in a relationship is more "pure" or "genuine" and there's definitely an emphasis on having relationships which doesn't align with who I am. Some people get a little defensive when I suggest that I don't see much of a difference between sexual and romantic attractions and they are equally unimportant to me. There's definitely belittling going around based on age too where certain people insist that young people can't call themselves ace or aro unless they've have "experience" while being vague about what that is supposed to entail, and it just ends up being about their age and the commenter projecting their own experience onto others.  

[nonmerci]

Well reddit apilogized and the post is nacknso everything turned out ok.

 

i guess this the end of nonmerci drama ! It didn't last long. 😄

[Mult]

1 hour ago, nonmerci said:

Well reddit apilogized and the post is nacknso everything turned out ok.

 

i guess this the end of nonmerci drama ! It didn't last long. 😄

I'm glad someone on the Reddit mod team has some sense to see that the ban was ridiculous