Are QPRs romantic?

[alto]

So a dude that I've been talking to lately says that considers QPRs "romantic".  Are they romantic?  If not, how are they different from romance?  What makes them different?

[hemogoblin]

No. They are neither romantic, nor platonic, hence the name. I've (and others) talked about this recently more in depth here, including with links to tons of people describing their QPRs.

They are different from romance, just like any other type of relationship differs from others, by the intent behind them, which is queerplatonic. Not romantic. Not platonic. But something else: queerplatonic.

Some friends have sex. Some friends kiss. Some friends go on dates. Many people consider those "romantic/intimate/committed relationship" things but that doesn't mean they inherently are. The difference is the intent behind them. People get to define that for themselves.

[Collie]

No, I would think it's not romantic by definition. I don't know if queerplatonic attraction is a thing or not (some say it is), but a QPR specifically, is a relationship that would appear closer than friendship and yet not a romantic relationship. The definition is broad and vague by design, but one thing is that it's not a romantic thing. People outside of the relationship may assume that it's romantic, but that doesn't make it so.

[nonmerci]

I think about it as the non-binary relationship, if that helps. If you take gender, you have the whole non-binary spectrum that defies the idea that you have to be either a girl or a boy. In this spectrum, you have agender people, bigender people, demiboys, demigirls, etc. Depending on the specific label, they can have things in common with male and female gender, or be completely disconnected from them. However, they all have in common one thing : they are neither a boy or a girl.

That's the same thing for QPR. They are defying the binarity between platonic and romantic relationships. For some it will be close to a friendship, for some ot will be close to romance, for other it will be both at the same time, or it will be neither of those. It really depends on the people involved, no QPR looks the same. However, they all have one thing in common : they can't be synonymous to friendship or romance.

So if it is true to say that QPRs can sometimes have romantic components, it is not accurate to say they are romantic per se, or that they are the same thing as a romantic relationship.

In fact, from the experiences, I've read, those who enter a QPR thinking "it is just like a romantic relationship" are usually disappointed and the relationship doesn't last.

[Mark]

On 10/24/2023 at 4:56 AM, alto said:

So a dude that I've been talking to lately says that considers QPRs "romantic".  Are they romantic?  If not, how are they different from romance?  What makes them different?

Since QPR is an umbrella term, it will end up being used to describe relationships which are romance like and/or pseudo-romantic as well as those which are different.

Very often depictions of OPRs, especially in mainstream media, are of coupled relationships. Which especially if they are also hetero, mongamous, cohabiting/marital, etc have little to tell apart from amantonormative ones.

 

[DeltaAro]

On 10/24/2023 at 9:29 AM, nonmerci said:

I think about it as the non-binary relationship, if that helps. If you take gender, you have the whole non-binary spectrum that defies the idea that you have to be either a girl or a boy. In this spectrum, you have agender people, bigender people, demiboys, demigirls, etc. Depending on the specific label, they can have things in common with male and female gender, or be completely disconnected from them. However, they all have in common one thing : they are neither a boy or a girl.

Can you have multiple separate relationships with the same person at the same time? Normally you can!

I wonder 🤔: can you have a QPR 💚 with someone and also have a romantic relationship ❤️ with them?

Or are QPRs supposed to be exclusive in this sense? Honest question! I guess... they are exclusive?

Edited November 2, 2023 by DeltaAro
Simplified

[Synthetic Adrenaline]

Personally they're a bit too relationship-like for me. I'd rather just have plenty of strong friendships and be part of communities. 

[ellie04]

Explicitly no but it’s up to the beings in a relationship to decide

[retrobeetism]

QPRs are whatever the person makes them to be.

• In between romantic and platonic
• Beyond platonic/ extra platonic
• Completely apart from romantic and platonic.
• Pseudo-romantic
• The queering of friendship
• A romantic friendship
• etc.

For me they are in between platonic/amical and solaic/exteramo relationships, so there's nothing romantic to them; and I distinguish them from QRRs which are in between romantic and solaic/exteramo relationships, with no platonicity/amicality connected to them.

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

Kind of like what @nonmerci said, a QPR is a relationship that goes against the binaries or expectations of what platonic and romantic relationships look like, or what platonic and romantic relationships have in regards to feelings, or activities, in their own respective ways. At the end of the day, a queerplatonic relationship is a relationship that can't be clearly defined, and can mean anything to those in that type of relationship. I do genuinely like the analogy of viewing QPRs as the non-binary gender of relationships.

[Synthetic Adrenaline]

nvm already replied to this

Edited January 27 by Synthetic Adrenaline