does anyone feel that their gender identity has influenced their orientation

[ellie04]

I feel like being who I am has definitely influenced it in some ways and I don't think I'd be aspec if I wasn't the gender that I am.

 

[SwiftySpeedy]

No, not really I'm cisgender.

[TrueEvergreen]

I think it's the other way around for me, the fact that im aroace led to me realizing my gender identity

[HelloThere]

I think I’m cis? I’m not sure but yeah my orientation would actually be what helps me along the way.

[Balfrog]

I think my gender identity and orientations played more into my confusion at gender for others then into each other.

[WanderingEvan]

On 6/2/2023 at 8:02 PM, Anaim said:

I think it's the other way around for me

Same for me! I think that me being ace (and more specifically my sex aversion) has influenced my aversion towards gendered aspects of myself. However, I do think that my lack of gender isn't inherently influenced by my orientation.

[Queerdo]

I do not find the concept of "romance" accessible to me as a queer person.

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

I honestly don't really know with this question. I realized my gender first, and then my aromanticism, but I know that because of who I am now that I couldn't be one without the other.

[Keith]

Kind of?? It's a long story... I found out that I wasn't straight before I realized that I'm not cis either, so it probably influenced what I identify as now, but I don't think it happened directly. I mean at first I thought I was bisexual, but then it hit me that I wasn't really attracted to men, which immediately led me to the mindset that I must be a lesbian then. But after I started identifying as a lesbian I started questioning my gender identity as well, and it was a hell of a journey... I tried pretty much every single label, and even now all I know is that I'm somewhere on the non-binary spectrum. 

So, my point is that yes, my gender questioning definitely helped me realise that I'm aroace, but I don't think it was the main factor.

Edited June 4 by Keith

[Atypique]

I'd say it's the contrary, my orientation is "fuck society" (aroace) and therefore my gender is also "fuck society" (non binary)

[nonmerci]

There is the label arogender but I think it is more the other way around (when aromanticisim influences the gender).

[AstrophelDragon]

Probably not really. I'm asexual and idk how genderfluid would affect that. Maybe there's some sex repulsion bc of dysphoria, idk, but I'm so sex-repulsed and so unattracted in that way anyway I don't think it matters.

I'm not really sure about my romantic orientation, I feel like I'm basically aromantic, but like, idk there's some weird things that seem to contradict that and it bothers me that I don't have a clear-cut definition of what romance is. So if I'm not just aromantic, then I don't see how I could be "straight" or "gay" when my gender changes all the time. But other than that it doesn't mean much either

[MulticulturalFarmer]

For sure, but only in terms of the labels, since I am an intersex person, it almost feels like I have to be "pansexual" by default.

[aRowanAce]

I feel like once I figured out orientation, identity came quickly after.

[loveloses]

Not really, but I think realizing I was trans made it possible for me to accept I am aro.

[Alysia]

My realisation of my gender came not long before that of my romantic orientation. I didn't really question my orientation(s) before I knew I was agender because my sexual attractions meant I was "straight" according to the gender I was assigned at birth, so it was left just unquestioned; I feel my aro-ness was obscured because I simply didn't know that romantic attraction was a thing and I thought that I just had different priorities (that's true, but I had no reason to give for that), but when I figured out my gender, I became open enough to realise that I'm aro.

As for whether they literally influence each other, I wouldn't say so, as I feel gender and romantic attraction just straight up don't exist within me, so how could something that doesn't exist affect something else that doesn't exist? I have thought about whether the reason I don't experience one is the same reason I don't experience the other, but it's not as if I know why either are absent, or that I think it matters why.

[flowingleaves]

Personally it's more the other way round for me. The aromanticism made me genderqueer. I think it personally has something to do with me viewing society treating gender roles as something that don't matter a lot of the time but absolutely matter when discussing romance and relationships so not doing romance led to me letting go of gender more easily than I would have if I had to participate in all that. If that makes sense, I guess.