Alysia

I got into my preferred Uni

In my household, we used to have a dog that definitely had a strong bias in favour of women. They'd absolutely fawn over any woman who visited us but would be pretty indifferent to anyone else who came. I don't know how they would have interacted with a trans person, as far as I know I am the only person they met who isn't cis, and I don't ID as female, neither was I assigned as such at birth, so I can't say anything from that. I definitely agree that humans seem to gender others in very uncomfortable ways, and sometimes quite bizarre ways in my experience.

This presumption of the "normal" identities really irks me, and is so ingrained in my culture that even people who don't fall into society's defaults for identity presume them. One trans person I know has recently got a new cousin and she used he/him pronouns for this 0 year old; I questioned her about how she would know this cousin's pronouns, and she said they were male sex, and they don't have a brain developed enough to know what identity is. I mean, sure, maybe a baby isn't able to know what their identity is (though, that's just conjecture) but that is in no way a justification to force them into the little box that happens to be the one most statistically likely (the one where they are happy with he/him). What if they aren't happy with it, surely she knows that's possible? My policy is that it's unknown until proven otherwise, not cis/allo/hetero/whatever until proven otherwise. Sorry if I rambled, and for going off-topic.

bing

I headcanon Don Quixote as aro-spec, perhaps specifically as cupioromantic, and probably allosexual, just celibate for knight-errantry reasons. His relation with Dulcinea just shouts forced crush to me. In the first chapter he selects her as his Lady because a love is just what knights-errant ought to have and he thought she was beautiful (hence the probably allosexual).

My realisation of my gender came not long before that of my romantic orientation. I didn't really question my orientation(s) before I knew I was agender because my sexual attractions meant I was "straight" according to the gender I was assigned at birth, so it was left just unquestioned; I feel my aro-ness was obscured because I simply didn't know that romantic attraction was a thing and I thought that I just had different priorities (that's true, but I had no reason to give for that), but when I figured out my gender, I became open enough to realise that I'm aro. As for whether they literally influence each other, I wouldn't say so, as I feel gender and romantic attraction just straight up don't exist within me, so how could something that doesn't exist affect something else that doesn't exist? I have thought about whether the reason I don't experience one is the same reason I don't experience the other, but it's not as if I know why either are absent, or that I think it matters why.

Um… it is. One of the band members said it themself.

Hi, I new here too

First I saw Jaiden's video and the aro part of the video I could really connect with, but I think I was too close-minded to actually consider that it might fit me. I think being allosexual obscured the possibility for me, even though the video does briefly mention split attraction. I forgot about the video, but after I fully realised I was nb, I remembered the it and was like "Oh… that makes sense".

I've come out to a trusted queer friend of mine. When I first came out to them as aro they were quite ill (I didn't know they were in such a bad state because this was over message), so nothing came from it at that time. Some time later I talked to them about being aro and they were accepting, but it was clear they don't really understand what it's like, they said that themself, which is cool because its not like I understand being alloro. They really want to get in a romantic relationship themself, so we're kinda opposites, but we've had nice conversations about the relations we do want, and it helped a bit that we're both allosexual so we could talk about that, and they've had no issues thinking it conflicts with being aro or whatever. Uni's starting this year for me and I think I'll be more "out" there, though I'm more excited about that when it comes to my gender, because I'm only out to this specific friend with that as well.

Hello everyone! Call me Alysia. I'm aroallo, and came to this realisation recently. I'm also agender, and I didn't realise that long before the aro recognition. Glad to find a space for aros online.