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Being aroace in asexual-oriented spaces


Neon
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I've seen it time and again how when discussing asexuality in a vacuum, alloromantic asexual people feel the constant need to clarify that they are not aromantic and still feel romantic love. And while I don't think that's inherently bad, it often comes across more as separating aroaces than it does ensuring that asexuality and aromanticism aren't conflated.

I've felt at times that the alloace community doesn't really regard aroaces as a part of it. The phrase "ace people still feel (romantic) love" and variations of it is treated by the alloace community as the most important thing to know about asexuality, and a given for all ace people.

Which implies that aroaces aren't really a part of ace spaces. That we are less important, or even a threat to the "real" aces.

And while the aroallo community also emphasizes that they are not asexual, the rhetoric is totally different. It focuses more on how aroallo people aren't talked about enough, and how not all aros are ace. Aroace's existence isn't treated as inconvenient or ignored like we often are in ace spaces.

And I also want to recognize this isn't just an aroace thing. Aroallos and non-sam aros are also harmed by a lot of those implications.

At this point though, I have to wonder if it's just me reading into things that aren't there. I've never really put words to these ideas before, and I haven't seen others do so either. So I'd really, really appreciate other people's thoughts on this.

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8 hours ago, Neon said:

e: so my quote didn’t work I wanted to quote this:

“And while the aroallo community also emphasizes that they are not asexual, the rhetoric is totally different. It focuses more on how aroallo people aren't talked about enough, and how not all aros are ace. Aroace's existence isn't treated as inconvenient or ignored like we often are in ace spaces.”
 

 

That’s so much true!!!
 

 

That’s why I feel so much more comfortable in the aro communities and also with saying “I ’m aro” instead of “I’m ace” and much more connected to alloaros than to alloaces

anyway, alloaros are so cool!

Edited by Acecream
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9 hours ago, Neon said:

The phrase "ace people still feel (romantic) love" and variations of it is treated by the alloace community as the most important thing to know about asexuality, and a given for all ace people.

This is why I never felt at home at AVEN, and why I never made an account there. That phrase is so dismissive and hurtful to aro people. I’ve never understood why marginalized groups feel the need to shove other marginalized people under the bus. Acceptance of ‘the other’ is so important (and not just for aro people)…

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