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Does anyone else get this?


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alright, i'm not sure if this is in the right topic but it does have to do with headcanons.

Sometimes when I tell people that I consider certain characters aromantic/asexual, people get mad and say that i'm homophobic for not considering them homosexual or stuff like that. A huge example of that is Isabella from Encanto. Most people see her as a lesbian, which is totally fine! but they tend to get angry when I say I consider her aromantic.

I don't know if I'm in the wrong, but if i'm not i'll say it's very annoying.

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That does sound super annoying. As long as you're not acting like your headcanon is the only correct one and that other people can't have different headcanons or erasing characters' canon identities, there's really no issue with any LGBT+ headcanons.

When I see people with a different headcanon than me I'll just be like oh that's a cool headcanon and move on. I don't know why people argue about this, I just headcanon for fun and sometimes to relate to characters.

Also as for Isabella, why not have her be both arospec and a lesbian? I love both headcanons and there's no reason we can't have both.

Edited by bat
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I agree with @bat, I think that if you're not erasing or denigrating a character's canon identity then it is all in the eye of the beholder.

In my experience, people that get angry over conflicting headcanons often do so because their headcanon is so important to their understanding and love of the character.

And then, of course, some people like to look for reasons to be indignant on the internet & irl, & when you encounter them, I recommend a very liberal use of the block function on whatever site you're on. If someone said that to me irl? I would reply by saying that aspec is part of the queer community & how can it be homophobic to have a queer headcanon for a character? Don't let anyone try to gatekeep our own spaces, & never feel ashamed for seeing some small representation when we so rarely find it.

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Honestly, speaking as both an aro and a Hispanic woman, Isabela's character is more reflective of the very real pressure that still exists for many Hispanic women- Yes, even straight women- to marry someone they're not interested in "for the sake of the family". You have every right to headcanon her as aro, just as much as anyone else has a right to headcanon her as a lesbian, but the cultural aspect of her character should not be ignored. Anyone who insists her storyline is clearly about being a lesbian is ignorant at best, outright racist at worst.

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5 hours ago, merlindfluorite said:

In my experience, people that get angry over conflicting headcanons often do so because their headcanon is so important to their understanding and love of the character.

That is my experience as well. I get it, there is very little non-hetero representation going around so a lot of people are grasping at straws and getting really passionate about it. But like @merlindfluorite said, use that block fuction. You do not need to be nice to people who do not respect you for having a different headcanon.

3 hours ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Anyone who insists her storyline is clearly about being a lesbian is ignorant at best, outright racist at worst.

Oh yes, insisting your headcanon is canon is not ok and really harmful.

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Yeah, I've seen people say this about Sherlock too...

I think that one of the "problem" woth aro headcanon is that it often begins like "this character has no romance interest, so aro", and that it can also be the case with gay representation (not always, but Merida, Elsa and Isabella are good examples of this). So there is a lot of overlap between two groups, and it can lead to some conflict because some people are very sensitive about their headcanon. And I also think that some people are so sure that instead of getting that some people just disagree, they go with the easy "you don't like my ship cause your homophobic". It is not about you headcanoning Isabella as aromantic, but about you not headcaning her as lesbian.

Anyway I think people who do that should work on themselves so they stop projecting their thoughts on others.

3 hours ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Honestly, speaking as both an aro and a Hispanic woman, Isabela's character is more reflective of the very real pressure that still exists for many Hispanic women- Yes, even straight women- to marry someone they're not interested in "for the sake of the family". You have every right to headcanon her as aro, just as much as anyone else has a right to headcanon her as a lesbian, but the cultural aspect of her character should not be ignored. Anyone who insists her storyline is clearly about being a lesbian is ignorant at best, outright racist at worst.

Yes, I've seen a lot of people raising this concern.

It also reminds me that originally, Isabella was supposed to have a boyfriend (you can find deleted things where she tries to run away with him). So insisting that she is only about being a lesbian when she wasn't thought to be one originally is very weird to me.

Edited by nonmerci
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I personally think Isabella was aromantic too! It's totally not homophobic. As an aromantic, I like to headcannon characters as aro until proven otherwise >:) 

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On 3/25/2022 at 7:11 PM, bat said:

That does sound super annoying. As long as you're not acting like your headcanon is the only correct one and that other people can't have different headcanons or erasing characters' canon identities, there's really no issue with any LGBT+ headcanons.

I agree, I have no problem with others who headcanon characters as other sexualities, it just makes me upset when they ignore everything else about the character and refuse to admit they aren't who decides the characters gender or sexuality.

thanks for the comment! you have really good points.

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Agreeing with everything said here, in my experience homophobic people don’t usually know what aromantic means. I personally like seeing her as aromantic and allosexual but I have no strong feelings towards her sexual orientation lol

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  • 3 weeks later...

I think the underlying issue is the lack of representation and the long ongoing tradition of implied LGBT+ characters. The way it's set up now it's encouraging people to read any small sign as a proof that they're gay. Cause Disney would never state it outright. So the only way to get any kind of representation is to pretend that the small details are in fact subtext intended to be interpreted in one specific way.

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I've found that some people just don't think two headcanons can coexist. They take every dissenting opinion as an attack on their own, rather than individuals each having different interpretations. I think it generally happens more with aspec and trans headcanons (and canon characters), simply because we are an easier target at the moment than other parts of the LGBTQ+ community.

And then there's the one's who will say anything to justify a character not being aspec. The most common one I see is that being aspec inherently infantilizes characters. And just.....no. If you think that, you're infantilizing aspec people.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ahh, Encanto, a very sweet movie about family and expectations with a point that flew over most people's heads. The emphasis made by the fandom on characters having romantic relationships (Camilo especially) and their sexualities was probably the most unnecessary thing ever in my opinion. (it's a movie about FAMILY, why can't people just focus on that?)

I personally had no problem with people's headcanons (Isabela included), it's just a headcanon after all! I will say, however, some people were way too excited to bring down anything regarding Isa being a lesbian, and a few others were also way too excited and happy to group us all together as these evil people ruining fandom spaces...

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My friend wouldn't listen to me when I said Merida from Brave (yes ik we all know her she's an icon) is aroace. She insisted she was a lesbian XD

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