Sensual attraction?

[quarterpast4am]

Hi everyone!

I just wanted to have a discussion about sensual attraction. I don't feel like it's talked about all that much, and I was just curious what your perspective on it is!

Personally, I don't feel it that much, but I have felt it before. It often comes along with other types of attraction for me, but sometimes it's on its own.

I think a reason why I don't feel it that much is because of my romance repulsion. Of course, touching someone doesn't automatically equate to romance, but a lot of romance-coded things (like holding hands, sometimes cuddling, etc) make me uncomfortable.

What are your thoughts on it?

[Erederyn]

I experience some sensual attraction. I'm generally a physically affectionate person, so it is something I appreciate having in my relationships, but that's not necessarily based on sensual attraction. If I do experience sensual attraction to someone, then I would just feel more of an urge to be physically close and affectionate with them. But on the outside, whether I experience sensual attraction or not doesn't really dictate what I do in my relationships. So while it is a distinct form of attraction that I experience, I wouldn't say it's important to how I interact with people. 

[ScarfOfSexualPreference]

A lot of my friends like to hold my hand and we sleep in the same bed and stuff, but I often find myself really tensed up in those kind of situations. I’m also not a huge fan of PDA, and find myself more uncomfortable when others give hugs or use each other as a pillow in public. 

[mewix]

Wanting to snuggle I suppose? That is something that can be totally nonsexual/nonromantic even if in some cases it can be that too. 

There are certain ppl who im like ew or I find they hug too tight and its like aghh. I used to be quite hug adverse but I realised maybe that's cuz a lot of ppl dun do it very well, or some cases it feel unequal one person wanting to overpower another or the reverse sometimes.

But the ones do well are nice and a hug becomes a snuggle when you sorta chill out and spend a decent amount hugging, open with it usually with someone you know. I don't do it a lot but I know it's nice lol. Mostly I just do short hugs between ppl

And yea holding hands can be nonromantic/nonsexual for some people it helps them relax or feel safe. Or maybe a sign of strong friendship and such. Even a kiss could be, in some cultures that is very common sign of being friendly.

Edited August 12, 2021 by mewix

[quarterpast4am]

9 hours ago, ScarfOfSexualPreference said:

A lot of my friends like to hold my hand and we sleep in the same bed and stuff, but I often find myself really tensed up in those kind of situations. I’m also not a huge fan of PDA, and find myself more uncomfortable when others give hugs or use each other as a pillow in public. 

This is a pretty good description of how I feel too LOL. I feel tensed up too, like, I'm fine with it, just tense. And PDA just grosses me out

[Just a Bear]

There was a few times I wanted to kiss, but mostly I don't feel sensual attraction.  I've done a variety of different sensual things with girlfriends, and it was something that I was okay with. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it, but I also wasn't repulsed at all. It felt perfectly okay by me, so I would reciprocate in a relationship, but I doubt I'd initiate sensual activities. It's hard to say for sure though, I could be wrong, maybe next time I'm in a relationship I'll be different. Assuming there is a next time, I honestly don't know. 

[aro_elise]

not a thing for me.  everything which could be considered sensual--like physical stuff, right?--is either sexual, romantic, or platonic to me.  so like the way(s) i'm attracted to someone would indicate the types of things i want to do with them.  since i never experience romantic attraction, i never want to do the romantic things.  for some activities, like kissing, there are different types; they again get sorted into the categories.  so i'm very into sexual kissing and very not into romantic kissing.  that's my best attempt to explain it.   

[DeltaAro]

I don’t know what “sensual attraction” means in itself. It really kind of hints at romantic or sexual attraction, imho, and does not seem to be a neutral term.

Do I feel sensual attraction when I hug my mum? The question itself sounds very strange … to put it mildly. Freud would have a field day with it.

[mewix]

On 8/15/2021 at 11:11 PM, DeltaV said:

I don’t know what “sensual attraction” means in itself. It really kind of hints at romantic or sexual attraction, imho, and does not seem to be a neutral term.

Do I feel sensual attraction when I hug my mum? The question itself sounds very strange … to put it mildly. Freud would have a field day with it.

I mean freud saw a lot of things as sexual xP though he sort of saw sexual as meaning "pleasure" in general.

And that sexual energy can be channelled into lots of things such as creative pursuits. 

I mean with family or a caregiver there usually is some kind of bond or something.

I kind of see attraction as more of a gravitation to something and feeling good I don't think that is necessarily sexual just that it can be. The reverse would be repulsion I suppose and then there is indifference. But I am not that deeply invested in the term sensual attraction either I can see it being suggestive of something else in some way too. XP still there are to me ppl who are more huggable than others or give off a vibe that is chill. One thing though it's not always apparent that some is a good hugger till you try and im not drawn so much to someone necessarily cuz they are good at it.

 

 

Edited August 17, 2021 by mewix

[arofox]

Ooh I feel a LOT of sensual attraction but Im romance neutral-repulsed which is really weird.

"Yes I wanna touch your face and kiss you, no I don't have any kind of feelings for you, nor do I want sex"

Sometimes I look at classmates and go "hm, they look really cute in that hoodie, I want to hug them". Or I see a friend and suddenly get the urge to touch their hair or their face.

My sensual attraction is not exactly linked to my aesthetic or platonic attraction but sometimes they do come together.

Edited August 25, 2021 by arofox

[BloodyBlood]

Hi! ngl im nto aromantic or and/asexual but i hope it does not bother anyone if it made anyone sad, etc i deeply apologizee! ??????

i personally very very sensula person toward everyone TnT

albeit i dont like Hug people dierectly, or in other hand its depend on person , beside i love to hold my mom hands in street, hig my mom like teddy bear or my mom hug me like teddy bear when we sleep, i like my mom pat my hands, pat and touchs my leg { like patting pls dont take it wrong QnQ } also when i was watching some video form reddit that there was someone scratching and patting their cockatiel for moments i feel like they are scratching my head and i really liked it XD my mom always call me kitten XD cause im to sensitive toward touch and pat and etc XD also i used my old cockatiel messing with my hair and neck and when her feather were touching my neck i felt soo good like omg so soft! { pls dont take this wrong too eek ;-; srryy QnQ } also once there was something happened and i was to scared and my father was scratching and patting my head gentle and i really liked it, and once i saw my Best friend`s lips in some view and i felt like { oof i wanna touch that lip i wanna kiss { not sexual one} }

so idk why but im basically super sensual XD a;beit i fel like i need to say it that i really dislike when people when meet me try to hug me i avoid it or try to kiss my cheeks i really dislike it not matter who is gonna do that i even dislike when my mom try to kiss my cheek , hand, head etc i dont much like it the sound of it make me kinda angry TnT 

                               so anyway i deeply apologize i talked so much and i said bad stuff ;-; i deeply apologize hope this dont make anyone sad/much sad etc i deeply apologizee eeekkk X0 

[Ikarus]

I have never done anything sensual before because of the romantic implications, and because I don’t think my male friends would at all be comfortable with it. 

But how do I feel about it.... I don’t know.... The only sensual thing I would like to try is cuddling. I have never done it though. 

So there is the idea of cuddling, and then the reality which I don’t know yet. If the idea matches with the reality in any way then I can enjoy sensual activities. If they do not match whatsoever, then I suppose I only loved the idea of cuddling...

Most guys probably don’t like cuddling with each other, especially if they are straight. I would feel uncomfortable for making them uncomfortable if the straight dude was actually open minded enough to try it. 

Females... amatanormativity, just want to get that out of the way. Besides that, I think more females would feel comfortable with it than males cuddling with males. 

Another part of sensual stuff like cuddling boils down to this. If the people I cuddle with are comfortable with it, then I am comfortable with it. If not, then it would get awkward. and If I feel awkward, then I must have loved the idea of cuddling, but not cuddling in reality. 

 

Person better not be stinky either...

Edited September 26, 2021 by Ikarus