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What does platonic dating mean?


PissLover2
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I've seen this a couple times on here. I really would like to know what this means and what the relationship would be like. What it would entail. Is it like friends with benefits? I'm a newbie to all of this and the aro community

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In my experience, "friends with benefits" usually means someone you have a sexual but not a romantic relationship with.

My understanding of "platonic dating" would be more like, setting an evening aside to spend with one of your best friends to go out for dinner and a movie because you like spending time with them.

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I'm not an expert, but I feel like I've seen it used in a few ways? More casually as going on date-like hangouts with your regular friends, or to mean actual dates with a platonic partner. I'm not sure if it refers to qpr dating as well, due to the confusing (to me) distinction between platonic and queerplatonic, but definitely the previous uses. I don't think I've seen the phrase used to ever imply a sexual component though, which friends with benefits specifically does (since the phrase usually means sex with someone you aren't dating or having a date-like relationship with as far as I know).

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  • 2 months later...

I personally don't get the idea of platonic dating. If I visit the cinema or a restaurant with a friend it would be no "date" for me because it's a friend.  It would be more like "just a normal trip" even if it's always the same special best friend

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  • 4 weeks later...

I have found the definitions for each word

Platonic love: Absence of sex or romance, rather based on the philosophical writings of Plato. Striving towards spiritual or ideal beauty. 

(mostly got scientific definitions, from urban dictionary) Dating: When two people really like each other, and decide to hang out to see if they can stand being around each other. Wikipedia: A form of assessing each others abilities for a future intimate relationship. To discover if ones prospective date is romantically or sexually compatible with them. A form of courtship consisting of social activities. 

Combine these two definitions

Platonic dating: A form of assessing each others abilities for a future intimate relationship. However instead of assessing sexual or romantic qualities, the people, daters, get to know each others platonic characteristics. Platonic characteristics simply meaning who the person is, and if they would like to develop an intimate “friendship” or “qpr" with them.

(Alternative) Platonic dating carries romantic baggage with it. The definition of dating, and how it functions societally is built around two people getting to know each others romantic or sexual abilities.

 If you strip these away, what do you get? Well you get two people getting to know about each other. Why not call platonic dating, Platonic Acquainting? It sounds a little choppy but its the only english word I can think of which doesn’t carry romantic connotations. If you're going out with a friend, is it a date? 

On 8/29/2021 at 4:08 AM, JustMe said:

I personally don't get the idea of platonic dating. If I visit the cinema or a restaurant with a friend it would be no "date" for me because it's a friend.  It would be more like "just a normal trip" even if it's always the same special best friend

Thats how it is for me as well... You can call it other names as well. A meet up, an outing, etc. 

I suppose people who do qpr wouldn’t mind the term dating. Especially those who are Quoiromantic(don’t know if they experience romantic attraction, and cannot define it or differentiate it from platonic attraction)./Quasiromantic: (There Platonic and romantic attraction blend / mix together in a non traditional way. Feel rare attractions.) 

I like to think of platonic dating as a term some aromantics prefer. It depends whether or not they are comfortable with its romantic implications, which I am not... The term can be simplified to getting acquainted to each other non romantically / sexually. 

I also think Quasiromantic and Quoiromantic, who usually engage in qprs more often will feel more comfortable using the term since they have a unique relationship to romance that most aromantics do not have. 

 

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