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How are the allos not also fed up with just having songs about romantic love?


Holmbo
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In Sweden there's a radio show in which various people each gets an hour to talk about whatever they choose and pick music to go with it. I was listening to one about a opera singer who in one segment talked about her experience of finally finding a song teacher who could help her develop her voice. The song that went with this story... a romantic love song of course, about a woman finding her perfect man who brings her coffee. How come there aren't a doussin popular songs about someone finding their teacher or mentor? It's such a common experience. 

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I guess on one hand (at least in Germany), for pop songs, most people tend to not exactly listen to or process the actual lyrics of a song and thus might not even realize how much music is about romantic love.

The second reason I can think of is that for a lot of people, romantic love is inherently connected to huge amounts of dopamine released in the brain. Music does a good job of activating these memories, prompting a new release of dopamine and leading to a happy feeling.

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I think it is difficult to write a song about a strong bound that isn't romance because allo will romanticize them anyway. For instance the other day, on the youtube section of the song "Unsaid Emily" from Julie and the Phantoms, I saw someone say "I wish my boyfriend would sing this to me". Which is weird because in the show, the guy sings this to his mother. How can she saw romantically something a guy wrote about his own mother? I'm not saying that it can be interpretated as being about romance (in a show, a character thought it was), but this girl watched the show so she knows what it was about. She still romanticized it.

Seing a song about feelings, people automatically think it is romance. So artists are kinda stuck because even if they write about something else, allo will see it as romance.

Now, why they don't get tired, I don't know. I get that romance songs are still be made, but I don't get why it is one of the only thing people write about? This is either that or "confidence" song.  There is so much things people can talk about, other type of relationships or else.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I asked a friend something similar to this and she just listed the best type of songs as:

  1. Break-up songs
  2. love songs
  3. yearning for love/sex songs

....as if there is no other types of songs out there. Maybe there is the assumption that these songs are based on strong emotion and are therefore more 'genuine' (whatever that means) and therefore anything with strong emotion is a romance-related song. I'm sure there are some people who think Green Day's American Idiot album is about relationships....

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I remember an American stand-up comedian in the 80s complaining about the radio spewing out the same type of song over and over.  I don't remember exactly, but it was something like:  "This is WLUV where we play nothing but love songs.  Just an endless string of love songs until you single people kill yourselves."

On the other hand I thought this was just another love song, but when my BFF heard is she said it was a good description of our friendship:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiGKiHAwr50&feature=youtu.be

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Break-up songs are good though. In fact this is how I like live songs the most, and I'm sûre it is a sign of my aromanticism : I can relate to the sadness or anger in it, more than the usual love stuff.

 

But yeah that's annoying how people equal strong emotion with love. My favorite kind of songs are think like Defying Gravity from Wicked, full of empowerment! More inspirational than a love song. 

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On 1/16/2021 at 3:11 PM, nonmerci said:

I think it is difficult to write a song about a strong bound that isn't romance because allo will romanticize them anyway.

To add to this point, if someone has most of their life experiences tied up with romance and already values romance above other relationships then any song about an experience is likely to be seen as a romantic song because to them it is a reminder of their experience with that person. e.g. a youthful song about partying becomes a song to them about the early days of meeting their partner. 

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Can't talk on behalf of other aroallos, but yeah. I do get tired of it. Especially since recently a friend and I were trying to do narrative playlists for the last few years of our lives, and I genuinely couldn't find enough songs that didn't have romantic love????

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  • 1 year later...

ok, I have a rambly idea I thought about recently which might be part of this.

there is this idea called the sieve of time, basically a lot of things happen at any time and only a few stick around. generally there are some things that stick around better than others. a good example would be roman architecture, the really good bits stay around like the collosseum or the pantheon or hadrians wall but the slums disappear.

This also applies for music, we only remember a small fraction of what comes out, and what seemed big at the time might not be the thing that lasts.

I have a feeling that sappy romance stuff is really popular as its released but has utterly terrible staying power, it gets lost in the sieve.

Really good example, 1969. This was the year 'fortunate son' was released. that peaked at 3rd in the US billboard top 100.

you know what did hit #1 that same year. this:

apologies to your ears folks, this sat at #1 for four weeks that year. But i would say if you asked people now, this song is certainly less well remembered.

ok thats one example but i think i have something that illustrates it better. the rolling stone top 500 songs of all time.

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-lists/500-greatest-songs-of-all-time-151127/marvin-gaye-whats-going-on-37363/

looking at the top 10 i see 2 that i would call romantic, plus one that is about a breakup. The whole list has a fairly small number of romantic songs compared to what you might expect.

So if most aros here are fairly young, you are probably somewhat aware of new releases and seeing a constant wave of romance being fired at you. But as you get older, the things you listen to and remeber move away from the romantic songs that struggle to stick around whereas things that are interesting, or strike a chord politically or socially stick around.

So maybe a lot of allos, especially as they get older, don't see most music being about romance because after a few decades of sieving there is a lot less glurge and a lot more diverse topics and themes.

also, have a palate cleanser:

 

 

edit: I should probably add, rolling stone's top 500 is a list made by other musicians, so it is a bit music snobby and is not quite a list which would reflect what most people would think would make the list, but it isn't a bad list and I suspect my idea about romance her ewould stand up ok in other lists too.

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On 5/26/2022 at 9:37 PM, roboticanary said:

ok, I have a rambly idea I thought about recently which might be part of this.

...

So love songs are the equivalent of fast food! I like it.

Now I feel like I want to listen to that top 500 and categories what the songs are about 😄

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Wooing the romantic target with music has a very long tradition (e. g. Minnesang of the 12th century). So in this context the amount of love songs isn't so surprising.

Of course, this does not answer the question how it got that way in the first place. This is honestly a mystery to me.

Humans could compose songs that are about their connections to friends and family. But they simply do not do that.

Now in nature, singing is something even animals (birds) do for romantic courtship. So maybe alloromantics are similarly biologically programmed for that?

PS: this overabundance of songs about romantic love pushed me to Metal / Industrial, where romantic love songs are a very rare occurrence. I'm not at all fond of war☮️but I can still tolerate Manowar lyrics more than Taylor Swift lyrics.

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58 minutes ago, roboticanary said:

yep, although maybe not quite as bad for your health

To me the McDonald's Side Salad seems healthier than a love song.

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1 hour ago, roboticanary said:

yep, although maybe not quite as bad for your health

Maybe they are bad for our mental health ;)

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Posted (edited)

Honestly I haven't gotten tired of it at all. I like love/yearning/etc songs as much as other subjects, even if I can't directly relate to the meaning.

Regarding music that isn't (explicitly) about romance, Aggressivelyarospec has Aro Tunes Thursday, where followers can submit songs with aro vibes. There are a ton of playlists and I figured people here might appreciate them.

Edited by Apex
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