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What Would You Have Done in this Situation?


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Back in December I was visiting teachers at my old high school. When I went to visit my Spanish teacher he eventually asked about my sister's engagement. [He knew my sister and wanted to be more up-to-date on her life] This led him to ask if I was engaged. I said no. He asked if I'd had bad experiences with girls in the past. I said that no, I just didn't want to date people. Keep in mind, I'd been asking myself if he was the romantic type. Boy was I right. He knows I write poetry but my poetry is NOT about romance. It has to do with spiritual growth and adventuring. Anyway, he goes on to say I'm VERY romantic because I write poetry and says that if I kiss a girl, that would result in more poetry. Bless his heart, he seems so blinded by the romantic side of things to have to romanticize like that.

 

With that said, what would you, the reader of this post, have done in this situation? How would you have countered any stereotypes made?

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I think many people like this equate romantic love with having feelings, and that only this kind of love can inspire your art.

One way to address this (without explaining aromanticism for two hours) is to point out poets who were single all their lives and wrote beautiful poetry. You could also say that many other feelings can inspire poetry: love for others (family or friends or nature or animals or whatever), joy, excitement, sadness, anger (i'm thinking of slam poetry for example).

Also, doing art isn't necessarily romantic. It can be for advocacy, for protest, for expressing your feelings in many other ways.

 

I think arguments like those could help! It sucks you had this experience but it's definitely amatonormativity (and sexism honestly) at work!

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Me? well I would coyly laugh at the kissing girls comment and say I am trying to emulate Gerard Manley Hopkins rather than Shakespeare. Hopkins wrote about environmentalism and God, and how industrialisation is a cancer and what can faith be when Nuns are drowned? then throw in one of the darker quotes from one of the more depressing poems, 

Quote

 NOT, I’ll not, carrion comfort, Despair, not feast on thee;    
Not untwist—slack they may be—these last strands of man    
In me ór, most weary, cry I can no more. I can;    
Can something, hope, wish day come, not choose not to be.

 

...though in reality I am much more likely to smile and nod then leave the room. Though there is always the possibility that I would throw out a comment about not wanting to end up writing like Patsy Cline as I left the room. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I would have trier to make him understand how blinded he is. And if he doens't work, I would have let him like this and think about it during days with anger, thinking of all the things I could have say to him. 😂

But I agree,  a lot of people associate poetry and romance. Probably because poetry became about feelings around XIX century. But first, feelings doesn't equal love, and second, we can write about everything we want.

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I am not the type of person who groans when someone talks relationships (I'm normally blank eye trying to understand it and wondering when we are going to move to something else) but that made me cringe in my class. To answer your question  "Well I've been there, done and it didn't really live up to the hype".

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Had a somewhat similar experience when my Spanish teacher informed us that her job as a teacher is to train us to be parents, and our Chromebooks are like our children so we need to charge them.

 

a. That is not at all the point of school.

b. I’d say owning a computer is just a little different from raising a child (maybe that’s just me).

c. Not everybody wants kids (or a spouse, for that matter).

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  • 4 months later...
On 4/8/2019 at 11:29 PM, Apathetic Echidna said:

Me? well I would coyly laugh at the kissing girls comment and say I am trying to emulate Gerard Manley Hopkins rather than Shakespeare. Hopkins wrote about environmentalism and God, and how industrialisation is a cancer and what can faith be when Nuns are drowned? then throw in one of the darker quotes from one of the more depressing poems, 

Quote

 NOT, I’ll not, carrion comfort, Despair, not feast on thee;    
Not untwist—slack they may be—these last strands of man    
In me ór, most weary, cry I can no more. I can;    
Can something, hope, wish day come, not choose not to be.

Poetry can really be about our "inner worlds" so to speak. Here's a poem I wrote, explaining deep moments of anger I've had.

 

Trigger Warning: The following poem mentions death and killing.

Quote

The Demon Inside Me (A Musing of My Dark Side)

This force inside my bones

infiltrates my thoughts

revealing in others' loss.

It says,

"I want you dead. Next we meet I'll put a bullet into your head."

Sure, in these times I'm mean and callous

but let this reveal its malice.

This being inside me

is growing in its cage

in a fit of fury and rage!

This entity in me roars one more time

and I feel evil's surge as I undergo the purge

to conquer the demon inside me.

 

 

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  • 1 year later...

 maybe I would've said that my poetry isn't about romance. but I'm nonconfrontational so I might just let him say it. It isn't really a rude thing for him to say, just a presmptuous one. so I wouldn't really be offended by what he said at all. I don't even know if I'd think it was weird, if no one said so. IMO romantic people are allowed to see things as romantic, as long as they aren't saying it about me.I don't even know if I'm aromantic, but like I said I might say that I don't write about romance. 

Edited by Ashe.
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