Coby Asola Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 So I have a friend who is ace and on the aro spectrum like me. She's super awesome and I have a squish on her. I eventually want to ask her to be my QPP. Any advice on how to do that when the time comes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodecahedron314 Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 My situation is a bit different than yours, but I'll do the best I can. When I brought it up to my QPP, we'd already basically been interacting as though we were in something like a QPR for a few years at that point, and it was sort of just a matter of "hey, there's this thing that basically describes what we already kind of are." "Yep, that sure is a thing." "Is that what we are?" "Sure, why not?" So, I suppose my advice would be more along the lines of timing than methodology--if you wait to bring it up until the point where it's already sort of something that's developed out of your friendship functionally if not formally, it might be easier to get the concept across and see if that's what the two of you want to call it. That's just in my personal experience though, which isn't entirely the same as yours, so other people might have more applicable takes on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coby Asola Posted June 16, 2017 Author Share Posted June 16, 2017 Thank you so much! I will definitely be using this for the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confidential_Con Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 Something similar happened to me and my QPP as to Dodecahedron. In the six to eight months before they brought up the subject of what exactly we were, we'd already pretty much been acting like we were in a QPR without me really realizing there was a word for it. I didn't mind calling it that when they asked me what I thought of it, and here we are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coby Asola Posted June 21, 2017 Author Share Posted June 21, 2017 So specifically in my situation, my squish is newer, we've only been friends for a few months now. However, I already know her quite well and really want her to be my QPP. I think that it probably would work out well and that I could ask her now. Do you have any advice on how to ask her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omitef Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 Been in your situation twice. First time, I handwrote a letter talking about how much I enjoyed their company, and ended the letter with an explicit request of "want to be queerplatonic friends?" Second time, I asked in person, after we just went to a concert together. Like, I just asked, "do you wanna be queerplatonic friends?" If she doesn't know what a queerplatonic friend is, be prepared to give a definition, with a couple examples of what the relationship would entail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coby Asola Posted June 21, 2017 Author Share Posted June 21, 2017 Thanks for the help! I plan on asking her soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ettina Posted July 18, 2017 Share Posted July 18, 2017 I wish I had an aro friend. My only a-spec friend is allo ace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Non-Month May Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 I'm in a QPP with this girl I had a squish on, and it's great! I was terrified of asking her, but she responded just the way I had hoped she would! The way I explained it to her, while relatively incorrect, helped me. I basically told her it was like my way of asking her to be my platonic girlfriend, and even though she already has a girlfriend she was fine with it! It does also help that she was relatively aware of Aromanticism and Asexuality. Just sit the person down, and explain exactly what it is. You have to set certain boundaries, and respect what your partner wants. Also, if the person you want to be in a QPP with is in another QPP or simply a romantic relationship, make sure all of those people know and understand what's happening, and make sure they're okay with it. Other than that, good luck to anyone who is planning on asking someone to be in a QPP with them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coby Asola Posted August 21, 2017 Author Share Posted August 21, 2017 Guys I finally asked her and she said she would definitely consider it and that she wanted to talk in person about it! So that's a solid maybe! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momo Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 10 hours ago, Coby Asola said: Guys I finally asked her and she said she would definitely consider it and that she wanted to talk in person about it! So that's a solid maybe! Congratulations! Good luck to the both of you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SamwiseLovesLife Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 12 hours ago, Coby Asola said: Guys I finally asked her and she said she would definitely consider it and that she wanted to talk in person about it! So that's a solid maybe! That's awesome! Let us know how it goes <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coby Asola Posted August 21, 2017 Author Share Posted August 21, 2017 I'll get to talk to her this Wednesday! Thanks for your support! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarcastic kitten Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 I know I'm too late for giving advice (the others members gave excellent ones.) but I'm rooting for you and hope that it'll go alright for both of you !! Good Luck ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coby Asola Posted August 25, 2017 Author Share Posted August 25, 2017 It didn't work out. She said she'd be more comfortable with a regular friendship for now but would consider it in a year or so. I'm just glad to have it settled and that asking her didn't change her wanting to be my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confidential_Con Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 Aww. I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out, but I'm glad that you two are still friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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