The Gray Warlock

Question: What will save the Western World from total economic collapse? Answer: An authentic Bob Ross painting.

When I was 9 I was analyzed for a year and told I have pervasive developmental disorder. Apparently it's a category for people who show autistic symptoms, but not enough to be on the spectrum. I spent four years in a branch of special ed called behavior disorders because I wasn't socializing properly, whatever they meant by that. I was tested at 18 and they didn't find any abnormality. So I don't know. I have considered that I might have c-ptsd.

Looking at this thread is reminding me of a cartoon I watched when I was little. I don't remember the name of it. There was a child bear voiced by Paul McCartney who wanders from home and ends up in a cave where there are a bunch of frogs putting on a symphony. At the climax a king and queen frog, wearing a crown, a cape and everything, emerge out of the pond on lily pads. Then an owl swoops down to catch them, and Paul McCartney bear shouts "Look out!" and saves them. Then he hears his mother calling and he goes home and that's the end.

Yeah. For years. The hell of it is I was doing it to myself because I just didn't know any better.

I'm not going to worry about coming out about being aro. I'll tell if asked, if it comes up in conversation, or I believe someone needs to know. Otherwise I don't think it's anyone's business. I can tell another kind of coming out story though. It was when my mom found out about my being into the occult. She freaked the fuck out! We were all just out of the JWs and I was still at home. My brother and I each rebelled against the indoctrination in our own way. Him by drinking, partying and raising hell. Me by delving into spiritualities that encouraged self-empowerment. I was especially interested in magick and paganism and discovered Wicca (the gateway drug!). I had a book called "The Wiccan Mysteries" that she found one day rooting around in my room. It's a 350 page book that has one short chapter about sexual rites, but she turned to that part first because of course she did! Now there's two things to understand. 1, Even though none of us had stepped into a Kingdom Hall in a couple of years, mom was still in that headspace. 2. It was also the tail end of the 90s when the Satanic Panic was winding down. Look it up kids. If you think today's conspiracy theories are batshit you ain't seen nothin'! There were news stories all over the place about secret cabals of Devil worshippers targeting youth for all and sundry nefarious purposes, and my mom swallowed every bit of it. I'd like to take a moment to say there's a reason Xers were the first generation to stop trusting mainstream media. So, how do you think it went over? A Satanophobic mother convinced there's diobolaters everywhere finding a book on witchcraft rites in her introverted son's room? Answer: It didn't. It was a firestorm. Fortunately, my brother the hellraiser was dating a girl who was a Wiccan, and I was already friends with her at that point, that my mom really liked and got along with. They're still friends to this day in fact. She was able to help me help my mom understand that this wasn't anything harmful, but very positive. I think it also served as the beginning of mom's deconditioning, so it ultimately has a happy ending. The irony of it was I was losing interest in Wicca and was getting into Ceremonial Magick and learning who Aleister Crowley was. And then 7 years later I accidentally left out a piece of paper with some hand written notes headed "prayers to Satan"... So what does this have to do with the topic? I have a good deal of sympathy for people with non-normative orientations or identities who are facing an unaccepting social environment. I know what it's like to have a part of who you are not be accepted by those close to you.

A rubber tipped screwdriver.

I understand romance as a natural drive humans have. Like an instinct. People who have this "instinct" simply feel they need a significant other to be fulfilled. As to the odds, not good when you really look at the numbers. It's much more often than not that an attraction is unreciprocated. It's a numbers game played by dating. I never understood or cared for dating myself, it just seems so tedious to me.

I don't care for spooning. I can never get a good night's sleep with someone's full dead weight on my arm, and I can't turn to get into a more comfortable position without waking her. So I get to wake up with a limp arm, stiff spine and foggy brain. How wonderful!

If that's the case, then it's my fault for not doing my due diligence. True. Again I'm not saying these issues are non existent, but that far too many people lack perspective. Another point I would like to make to make is that if we take the premise of this "suffering hierarchy" that seems to be the rationale of aro/ace exclusion, apply it to society at large, and take it to its logical conclusion, then a very large portion of the population would lose their place in the discussion of public issues as well as the right to voice their ideas or opinions, and only a small few would ever benefit. One might say they would be privileged. And the world will not have changed for the better save for those few. And personal opinion, just so people know, I'm just fine with not being counted as LGBTQ et al. I don't even think of myself as fitting that label. It's just this whole "you haven't suffered as much as I have" thing that sticks in my craw. I know I bring this up a lot, but I was raised in a cult and was abused physically and verbally by a parental figure. So most people haven't suffered like I have. But, then again, how do I know that? How do I know what their experiences were and how they stack up to mine? Is it even fair to either me or them to make such an apples to apples comparison even if I could get it? And even if I could fairly make that comparison, the other person isn't any less deserving of my respect, or my compassion, for it.

Nothing really glamorous. It's ultimately inspired by a gray bandana I like to wear, and I had an interest in Traditional Witchcraft at the time I thought of it. I thought it sounded pretty badass. It's also kind of a tribute to the Gray Wizard, i.e. Gandalf.

This whole thing about (insert demographic) privilege is a form of social manipulation by playing the victim. And I know what that looks like because I was friends with a sociopath for almost two decades. To say one has privilege is to suggest victimhood of another, and anytime one says "You're privileged!" they suggest they are the victim. Anytime someone names themselves as a victim you can bet it's a manipulation tactic toward some kind of gain. Those using such tactics will rebuff any sort of attempt at being related to, because it lessens their victimhood status and hence their leverage at getting what they want. What makes it more objectionable for me is the self-centeredness of it. There is a lack of perspective on a grander scale that insults those who have suffered greatly. Sure, lgbt people still face hardships, I'm not denying that. But in 2022 what guy, bi, lesbian or trans person is facing being burned at the stake for their orientation? That's where "faggot" comes from, did you know that? That word in its classical context means a pile of sticks for burning. Wanna guess how it came to be applied to gay men? I'll bet you no gay man in the modern West has had that happen to them. Does this not constitute a "privilege"? So maybe these people should get some perspective before calling someone else "privileged."

When I was growing up gender=sex. Then someone decided it was...something else. And not everyone agrees. All I will say is if a word is to have any meaning at all, it must have a consistent definition that everyone agrees upon.

To this day people think Every Breath You Take is a love song. They play it at weddings for Christ sake! It isn't. It's a song about obsessiveness. “I think it’s a nasty little song, really rather evil. It’s about jealousy and surveillance and ownership,” Sting, 1983 I guess that tells you what love is all about?

Actually, just hearing the word was enough to start making the pieces come together. I just didn't think of it as an orientation until I started researching it. But once I got the basics of it, it all made sense. And once I'd accepted it I started feeling better: less stress, no more confusion.

I appreciate that.

No wife, no in-laws, no child support, no divorce. My time is my own, my money is my own, my space is my own, my mind is my own. No concerns about having "market value" since I'm not concerned about attracting anyone. My very existence throws a wrench into society's value system. And being one of the few people who understood "Every Breath You Take" the first time I listened to it.

Yeah. My mom accepts who I am. To be fair, she's always had anxiety issues. And everyone else is too focused on their own life to care much about what I'm doing with mine.

White male working class Midwestern GenXer. Through my mid 20s everyone was trying to fix me up with somebody. Or gave unsolicited dating advice. My mom even got scared about me not being romantically active and, not shitting you about this, thought I was going to be a mass shooter.

I thought I was the only one!

Over the years I've gotten increasingly practical about my food, to the point that I view diet as a tool more than anything else.

Nothing like the classics he c