The Gray Warlock

Yep pretty much. I'll tell you something cool though. The local radio station is on 93.7 fm, and they named it Magic 93!

Thelemite. Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law! And no, I'm not one of those people who idolizes Crowley. I simply am drawn to the theology (if you can call it that) that at the core of the being of every individual is a Divine Will that manifested this existence for a purpose. And it is up to each of us to use whatever methods we find suitable to discern that purpose and act on it. In order to facilitate True Will, as it's called, most Thelemites espouse a libertine ideology (as outlined in Liber Oz) that declares that every individual "has no right but to do thy will" meaning everyone lives their lives as they see best and fit, and no one has the right to tell anyone else how they may live. And yes, I practice magick. Love is the Law, Love under Will! 93

You ever hear a song by Bowling for Soup called High School Never Ends? Yeah.

"It Doesn't Matter If You're A Loser, Or A Nerd, Or A Freak! All That Matters Is That You Become Badass!" My favorite line from Cobra Kai. Because it's true.

That's the reason I've been sticking around. Every now and then I see a young person posting their struggles and I chime in with my own two cents or relate my own experience hoping it helps.

I'm kind of at that point myself. I feel I've learned everything there is to learn about it. It really is a pretty simple thing, I don't experience romance. What more is there to say about it? It was wonderful learning about it so I could process the concept and let go of old ideas and expectations I was holding onto. But now I feel I'm on the other side and ready to move on to other things.

For my entire adult life my idea of relationships was "best friend you have sex with." I knew what falling in love is, intellectually, I just never had the experience. And I already take friendships seriously, so it was logical to think of a lover as an even closer friend. But finding out about aromanticism really cleared a lot up for me.

Not only that, but they're genetically closer to being animals. And some species have over 90 sexes!

Ever since I was a kid I've had a fascination with mushrooms. Irl and in fiction, from the mushrooms encountered by Alice and Mario in their respective fantasy worlds to the fawns that sprang up in Missouri every April that barely fit in my 5 year old hands. I have seen them everywhere, growing on everything. Old logs, cow dung, multiple flushes coming out of the ground where trees once stood..I've even seen fruit bodies springing out of sticks laying on the ground! They just amaze me. As organisms, and for their uses as food and medicine. I've even grown my own. Yes the one you're probably thinking of...Oyster. They're a real treat properly cooked.

I guess the grass is always greener...

Yosemite Sam. The only one Bugs has not been able to trick by dressing as a woman and flirting with him.

You could probably get one custom made. Just be ready to spend for it.

In listening to LGBT+ discussions, and hearing accounts of that community, there seems to be this weird victimhood one-upmanship. E.g. Lesbians are more accepted in society than gay men, queer blacks are less accepted than queers whites, bisexuals aren't real gay/lesbian. Drag queens are gatekept in the trans community. Ok I haven't actually heard anything about that last one, but I'd believe it. Whatever the cultural causes (that could be a whole discussion in itself) there's an underlying pathology of I-suffer-more-than-thou. In fact many minority groups seem to have this kind of gatekeeping. The "you're not black enough" mentality for instance. I've even directly observed it among the local Native American population, displaying a similar "you're not Indian enough for me!" way of thinking. Personally, I think it's one of two things. Either a type of self-emisseration where one projects their own low value on others, or a narcissistic status game.

These guys. Multiple movies per franchise and they NEVER show any romantic or sexual interest in anybody.

There is no being "allowed" to feel anything. Emotions do not ask for permission. And you can't control what others believe. As for being certain, I know it's cliche but there are only two things in life you can be sure of. People change, the world changes, life happens. If you believe you are aromantic, go ahead and call yourself that. If that changes, no big deal.

Here's my two cents. All this talk of gender identities is just another way for human beings to do what human beings do best: make life way more complicated than it needs to be. If modern society was really as individualist as we like to think, there would be no need for categories to fit ourselves into. Not even gender ones. People would simply live their lives, thinking believing, and behaving as they see fit and best for them. But, because we are human beings with egos that want to make damn sure everyone believes what we do, and have an intellectual grasp on everything, we have to come up with all these complicated systems to pigeonhole people in artificial categories. Now having said that, history and mythology provide some fascinating examples. In Babylon, there is the well known practice of sacred prostitutes devoted to Ishtar. Turns out the majority of these devotees were physically male, and dressed as women, but were not regarded as male or female, but a third gender called "womb people." In Ancient Egypt men and women alike wore cosmetics on a daily basis. It was a kind of religious practice imitating the faces of the gods, as it was believed facial features symbolized the creation of the cosmos. In fact the word "cosmetic" means "create the universe." Gives a different meaning to "makeup" doesn't it! Also, women of high status often wore false beards. From pre-Christian Northern Europe there are records of the priests of Freyr dressing as women and celebrating with the dancing and ringing of bells. It's thought the goddess Nerthus was similarly worshipped. And of course there is the tale of Thor, the most quintessentially hyper-masculine of all deities, dressing like a bride to be married off to the giants as a ploy to infiltrate his enemies' camp and retrieve his stolen hammer. And there is at least one tale of none other than Odin disguising himself as an old woman. In Hinduism there is a story where Vishnu changes into a woman, Mohini, as a way of helping Shiva (who also becomes female on occasion) to overcome a demon. So, if nothing else, I say if gender fluidity is good enough for the gods, it's good enough for me!

For my fellow fitness fiends

Reminds me of Dragon the Bruce Lee Story. Bruce Lee opened a studio to teach Kung Fu to the public. The first person to come in was a large black man inquiring if he can take classes. Bruce says "I'll teach anyone who wants to learn." The man says "You know I'm not Chinese right?" Bruce responds "I noticed that." Context: it was forbidden for any master to teach Kung Fu to foreigners.

I've been hearing the MCU has been going down the tubes. Like a lot of mainstream movies these days. I wouldn't know myself. Frankly I haven't seen or been interested in seeing anything coming out since The Force Awakens.

Even counting my 3 half siblings, I'm the oldest of 5. Separation Brother 2 years, brother 10 years, sister 14 years, brother 16 years. No LGBT in the family as far as I know, except for a bisexual sister-in-law. I have two grand-uncles who never married, and one grand-aunt. She's a nun though, so I'm not sure what to make of that. They're from an old-fashioned hard core Catholic family so they could as easily be closeted gays as anything else. I just don't know and I don't think I will since one is dead and the other two are nearing the end of their life.

I'm getting a sense that your real issue is that you believe getting love from someone else will make you feel worthy of love. I know that was the case with me for a long time. But the truth is it's the giving of love that makes you worthy of it, and that can only come from within yourself. The good news is there is a part of everyone (who isn't a psychopath or narcissist) that is a source of unending love. Different people have different names for it, so call it what you want. The catch is those of us who've had trauma early in life (I get a sense that's the case with you as well) have to go to a good deal of effort to access it. I'm not going to give any advice on how to accomplish this because for one thing what works for me might not work for you. For another there is already plenty of material on this matter out there for you to find, and this is something you have to take charge of. No one else can do it for you. But that doesn't mean not asking for help when you need it. I commend you for reaching out. And no, you are not alone.

I once stood exposed to the Dragon's Breath so that a man could lie one night with a woman. It took me nine moons to recover. And all for this lunacy called, "love", this mad distemper that strikes down both beggar and king. Never again. Never! Merlin to Arthur, from the film Excalibur