Holmbo

You're not gonna figure it out by thinking or talking to people online. You'll need experience to see what feels good or not. If your anxiety is preventing that you should probably see if it's possible to get professional help about it.

There's a virtual meetup group

I like reading your analysis even though I've neither watched the musical or read war and peace. I've seen other people headcannon the hopeless romantic characters as aro. I think it can make sense because when you don't really experience romantic attraction you might get swept up in the idea of it.

The only way to know is to experiment. Go on some dates and see how it feels like. If you're too anxious that doesn't have anything to with your romantic orientation likely, check with a therapist about possible treatment for anxiety.

Since you enjoy speculative fiction I'll recommend all of Becky Chambers work. They are very light on romance and are generally lgbt+ themed. Record of a spaceborn few even has an aromantic pov character. You could start with the long way to a small angry planet.

Tv show ⚽👍🇬🇧🇺🇸❤️

I also feel like this. I wish I could be more affectionate to people but the mere idea that they would take it as romantic makes me uncomfortable. I really feel this is a hindrance for me living my authentic self. If anyone has tips on how to overcome this I would welcome it. I'm thinking one way could be to find a friend with similar values as me about wanting to be more affectionate and we could practice with each other.

Thanks @Sad aro I think the reason I'm not sure about it is I just don't have the information. I'm thinking maybe dating would be an effective way to meet more people with similar values as me who wants to form new connections. But as I put it I'm concerned that pretty much everyone only dates for romance or sex. I feel like the only way to find out would be to try it but it's a lot of work to choose apps, create profile, meet up with people, I'm not sure it's worth the time since it might likely come to nothing. But at the same time I won't know unless I try. @Sad aro

I'm not sure what that is but the shape make me feel like we always have to design every detail of something. It has so many curves when a simple cube like thing could probably work. And white is a symbol for our obsession of cleanliness.

I would be interested in posts about this and I would try not to reply in any judgemental or dismissive way.

A common characteristics for autism is problem interpreting ones own emotions. Your friend could choose to identify as aromantic if he wants but in the end that's up to him.

The recent year I've been thinking about maybe dating but I'm not sure. I'll write some of my experience and others could give their opinions or share some experiences of your own. I haven't been on a date in about 9 years, since the time I figured out I was aromantic. Back when I did date the pattern was usually the same. The first date was enjoyable most of the time. We'd have a good time talking and perhaps make out a bit which I really like. But by the third date, if we got that far, I'd feel really bored and kinda trapped. I also never had a good sexual experience for anything beyond making out. I'm not sure if that is because I was inexperienced and didn't know about my asexuality though. Since then I've started to explore my own body and I enjoy masturbation. I'm considering trying out some online dating apps because I feel it might be a good way to more deliberately search for people with similar values as me. I consider myself a relationship anarchist and single for life. It would be nice to meet others with that mindset but I'm concerned that at the end of the day most people just go on dating apps to get romance or sex. The former is repulsive to me and the later I'm kinda positive to in theory but it's not a priority for me at all. I know I could just try it out and see but setting it up and looking around takes time and energy, so I'm trying to figure out if it's worth it.

@LIVI0what's pfps?

Yes you must return your aromantic membership card to the aro gatekeeping police

The common definition for aromantic is someone who experience little or no romantic attraction. What counts as little is subjective. If you feel the label fits your experience it's really all that matters. You can always change your mind later if you feel like you feel more romantic attraction.

I was thinking about how with sex there's a difference between sexual arousal and sexual attraction. Is there a romantic equivalent? Could someone be "horny" for romance? And if so could they self satisfy by doing romantic activities with themselves? Also what would be the romantic version of an orgasm? I know these concepts are not really comparable one to one like this but it's fun to try anyway.

Agree romantic spectrum is a useful term for society in general.

Same but for sexual attraction.

Yeah I agree that romance is kinda elusive as a concept. It's so subjective too. I know several people who don't experience romantic attraction but they don't choose to identify as aro because they still want a romantic relationship.

Welcome 🍨

I've never heard anyone using the term platonic friendship. Platonic relationship and friendship are somewhat synonymous I think. But the definition of both platonic and friendship are pretty broad and can vary depending on the person.

That sounds cool. I feel like villain clothes could easily be aro culture. It's problematic that most aro coded characters in fiction are villains but at least they are often stylishly dressed so we could claim them. @Pumpkincatyou could check out this thread for inspiration Some of the stuff mentioned in there is clothes. Overalls and clogs 😄

Lack of emotions in general could be due to psychological or physical causes. Have you seen a therapist or doctor about it? Meanwhile you could try some mindfulness exercises and see if those make you connect more to your emotions.

Sounds really weird. But people write all kinds of weird things online. I wouldn't put much attention to it