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About Aroacerabbit

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  1. Aroacerabbit

    Can't relate

    Hi! Although I cannot speak for you or know exactly how you feel, I do know that I feel similarly to how you are describing. However, I do enjoy romance stories, I ship many fictional characters together, but the think that I think made me interested, was that you said you don’t think you’ve had a crush since you were 9 and that you don’t really think about romance a lot. Although I do not know all of your emotions or your age, I know that, from talking to an alloromantic (non-aromantic) friend, most people have crushes many times after age 9 before their current age. Also, many people who feel romantic attraction think about it a lot from what I understand. In fact, the lack of crush and not thinking about it actually was what helped me come to terms and realize I was aro. Hope this helps!
  2. So I know that in the US today is National Coming Out Day and I’ve seen a ton of posts about “Love is Love” and “No love is wrong”. And don’t get me wrong, I completely agree and think that it’s all amazing, but am I the only one that gets kind of upset because everyone associates the LGBTQ+ community with “letting people love whoever they want”? I feel like everyone just thinks that it’s all about letting people marry and love when there’s also all of the aro, ace, enby, and trans communities who’s LGBTQ-ness is not about who they love. So is it just me?
  3. So today I was texting one of my friends about how something was making me sad (a romance song because I’m aroace) and I was saying that it hit weirdly for me because it made me want that because I can’t feel it. She’s the only person I’m out to so I love and trust her very much. She’s also gay. However, every now and then she says “you don’t know for sure! You might meet someone someday!” And I know she’s trying to help and make me feel better but it makes me feel like I’m faking and doubt myself even more. It almost feels like it could compare to when people say to a lesbian, “who knows! You might find a guy you’ll love someday!” I don’t know if I’m the only one that feels this way? Anyone else? Also, I want to bring it up but don’t know how because I really don’t want to offend her because I love being able to talk to her because she’s also LGBTQ+ and the only one I’m out to. Any ideas? Thanks!
  4. Thank you! And I’m glad I could help! Lol. Haha. That image of me as Sue in my brain is hysterical. And I agree, I have had that kind of dream/imagined that scenario and strangely, the significant other never showed up! Maybe they just had a super busy work schedule?🤷🏼‍♀️🤔
  5. I feel like I've asked a lot of questions recently but here we go. Looking back at when I was younger, even a few years ago, whenever I pictured and dreamed about getting married, there were certain things I always imagined. What my dress would look like, what the food and cake would be, and even the decorations. The one thing I could never picture was who would stand at the altar with me. Whenever I imagined that part of the wedding, it was supper blurred (like pixelated to the point you cannot tell anything about them. Gender, hair, clothes, etc) or just nothing there. I didn’t know that wasn’t normal until my friend was talking about her dream wedding and how when she dreamed about it, there was a woman standing there with a dress and stuff! I was shocked, but looking back, it makes a lot of sense. Lol. Has anyone else had something like this where they imagine their wedding but never who they’re marrying? Or is it just me?
  6. Thank you! This helped a lot! (And I agree. I’ve always imagined my wedding, from planning it and my dress, food etc, but I’ve never been able to picture someone at the altar. It’s always been a blur or just nothing. Lol. Looking back, it might have been a hint!)
  7. So At the beginning of the quarantine, (March) I began to really look into my sexuality. I then realized that I was aroace. I’ve come out to one of my close friends who’s a lesbian and was the main person to encourage me to investigate my sexuality. However, when I have recently thought about coming out to anyone else, I get a slight panic attack. If I think about my mother, she has always been very pro-lgbtq, very open, and she was really open and nice to my gay friend when she came out. I know she knows about asexuality because I heard her talking about it to one of our family friends one time when they were talking about the LGBTQ spectrum ( i didn’t hear the details). However, I always feel like if I were to come out to her, she wouldn’t be as accepting of me as aroace as if I was gay for example. I don’t know if this is because of romance normativity and such but I feel like she would be really disappointed. But my main point, sorry for taking so long to get here, lol, is that whenever she and my family/family friends talk about me getting married or dating or having kids it makes me sad because I feel like I’m getting their hopes up. Any recommendations on how to tell her this without revealing anything? I don’t think I’m ready to come out yet, as I still have some internalized fear of being aroace, but it hurts every time it’s brought up. Thanks!
  8. Although I have not lived through this like your friend is hoping, I have felt a lot of the feelings you are describing. One of the things your friend said was that they didn’t want to be alone but didn’t want a romantic relationship. I would suggest looking up what a QPR or queer/quasi platonic relationship is and if it is something they might be interested in. From what I understand it’s like a romantic relationship in any way shape or form that you and the other person/people agree with, but there isn’t any romantic feelings involved. That idea has helped me come to terms with it a little and made it slightly easier to accept! Hope this helped!
  9. I am a female, who recently began to identify as aro/ace. One thing that I am still struggling with is whether I want to get married and possibly have kids because of what society deems as normal, or if I actually want it, even if I don’t feel the romantic or sexual attraction. How would I know?
  10. There is a recently released book called Loveless by Alice Oseman. It’s basically a coming out story of an aroace girl while at university. It’s also an oven voices novel so it’s based loosely on her experiences. I personally thought it was AMAZING and it really helped me validate my feelings and set in my identity. I often go back to think about the book and how I felt reading it when I’m doubting myself or my identity. It’s more of a fiction book than an anthology or anything but it’s really good and describes both a sexuality and a romanticism very well in my opinion
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