hemogoblin

You volunteer for a month at a time (people get one month to respond to your prompt, so it's a month's commitment). It's not a regular position. You could volunteer for February and then never touch the Carnival again if you didn't want. The link I included in the first post contains more information. =) I volunteer with running the Carnival.

Pretty much! You propose a general, open-ended topic for people to respond to. Hosts usually ask some questions to help prompt/inspire people to respond. You can see some examples of previous calls here (Getting Old, Sentimentality, and Expression). Your post can really be as long or as short as you want. It's nice to include an explanation of what the Carnival is, what your topic is, and some ideas for how people may respond. And that, the round-up, and notifying the Carnival of where you've posted the call for submissions/round-ups are it for the responsibilities! You can choose to help promote your topic throughout the month, but it's not required. Promotion is actually a part of my job, so you post on whatever platform works best for you, and I'll cross-post it in some other places for you to help get more responses. Hosting seems kinda big and scary if you've never done it before, but it's pretty simple! It's purposefully designed that way to be welcoming to people with a variety of responsibilities/time commitments, experience with social media or other hosting events, etc. :) Ime, the hardest part is usually coming up with a topic or settling on just one idea!

Hey, all - If you frequent this section, you may be familiar with the Carnival of Aros, a monthly blogging event where aros can connect with other aros and talk about being aromantic. Hosting is really easy. It only takes about an hour at the beginning of the month and an hour at the end. At the beginning of the month, you pick a topic you want to hear other aros talk about. You post the topic and tell people how to reach you. At the end of the month, you make a post with all the responses that were submitted throughout the month. That's it! It's easy and a fun way to connect to the community. And 2023 is totally open for hosts! We need volunteers! You can volunteer for whatever month you want. If you have a bit of time or think this might be a fun or interesting experience, please consider volunteering to host here: https://carnivalofaros.wordpress.com/volunteer-to-host/

Matcha mochi. 👀 Green Single serving Protective shell around inner meltiness

My sister started dating in middle school. Romantic/sexual attraction/love/relationships aren't a mark of maturity, no matter what BS your mom or society tries to feed you. Life is hard. Life with anxiety and OCD is even harder. Life with anxiety and OCD when you're struggling with societal bias is even harder. Therapy can help. Techniques like ACT or DBT can help. Support can help (it's okay to have good friends you can count on!). Community can help. We're all just always figuring things out. It's okay if you can't put your feelings or your pain or your fear or your hurt or anything else into words. Your struggle is valid and real. And it might not really get easier until you can better advocate for yourself and get whatever help/support you need (talk therapy, alternative therapy, neurofeedback, ability to safely set boundaries with people like your mom, offline community, etc.) and have a bit more time to explore and experience life and realize for yourself that just because things are common life tropes doesn't mean they're necessary or the only legitimate way to live life. I'm really sorry things are difficult and scary right now. I wish there was a clear solution people could give you to feel better and more comfortable and more confident. But we can be here for you. We can support you. We can cheer you on. It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. A lot of people, even allos, live lives that don't 100% comply with amatonormative social expectations. Life and the human experience is so, so diverse. You can't miss something you don't even want. You wouldn't be you if you felt romantic attraction. Your mom is wrong. You are here. You are worthy of life and happiness and satisfaction. You matter for you, just the way you are.

I wrote a response, "Being “Older” But a “Younger” Aro", on tumblr!

My friends started getting theirs around 11 - 17 (the later ones were due to repressed queer attraction). I remember because that's when it started becoming exceedingly clear to me that I was different than them. :o

Lol, me too! . This post also serves as a notice that we're coming to the close of October, and I haven't received any submissions. If anyone feels like sharing anything, no matter how short or small or messy, please do! I did write up a response myself, if that provides any inspiration. As a side note: I'd also love suggestions of where else I could promote the Carnival. Promotion is my official duty, but I don't seem to be reaching very many people. :o

Lol, so it's their policy for any surveys to be approved by staff first to make sure they're legitimate. Which I get! When people are submitting to surveys that claim to be privately collecting data for statistical purposes or eventual publishing, especially when they don't have obvious credentials to validate and you aren't sure who's actually collecting the data. But A) Carnival of Aros isn't privately collecting any data - we're compiling public posts. And B) I had posted there for September, had a mod comment on the post, and nobody mentioned anything about approval. Getting the notification this month was just...confusing. xD It has thankfully been approved by now, and I'm talking with a mod who agreed we shouldn't need approved each month as we're an established group/event, so that will hopefully go smoother in the future, lol.

October's Carnival of Aros, where bloggers and writers can share their thoughts on various aromantic prompts, is up and running! This month is hosted on reddit (with a google form submission for folk not on reddit), and the theme is "Expression". Here's some prompt ideas of what you could write about: How do you verbally express your aromantic identity? How do you explain aromanticism to others? Does the way you talk to aromantics differ from how you might talk to alloromantics? How do you creatively express your aromantic identity? Are you a writer, painter, drawer, sculptor, musician, dancer, meme creator? Is your work ever inspired by your aromanticism/aromantic experiences? How so? Perhaps you even want to share one of your creations to respond to this month's Carnival (feel free to boost whatever creative social media you have to promote yourself!). How do you express pride of your aromanticism? Have you bought pride merch? Maybe you even make/sell pride merch. Maybe you've participated in a Pride event and expressed some aro pride; how did you share your pride or how did people respond to your expression? How is your aromanticism expressed in your relationships? Are you an aro in a romantic relationship; if so, how is your aromanticism expressed in your relationship or how does it impact your relationship? Perhaps your aromanticism impacts how you express yourself in other relationships, such as pursuing a queerplatonic relationship or being a loveless aro and navigating platonic relationships with people who may be very free with telling friends "I love you". I'm actually hosting this month, so if you prefer to share a link to your response here, I'll check back in at the end of the month for you. :) Cheers to AVEN, where this was considered too potentially dangerous and removed from the forums! *glass clink*

Another re-watch, another forgotten aro headcanon: Kronk from Emperor's New School/Emperor's New Groove! Probably also ace but for sure aro. Spinach puffs >>> romance

(They also think he's gay because of the offscreen the director statement confirming it, but I think this is just yet another example of how queer coding isn't black and white and queer people ofc relate their own experiences on the few meager character scraps we get.) Aroace Gobber sounds just as wonderful to me as gay Gobber or bi Gobber!

I guess it's perception, not intent, that matters, but I don't find what I said contradictory. "We don't define attraction based (purely) off of genitalia" is not inherently at odds with "genitalia can play a part of your attraction". Sorry that was confusing.

No one I know has to see someone naked in order to be sexually attracted to them. And you cannot assume you know someone's genitalia if you haven't seen it. Sexual attraction is based on SO MUCH (aesthetics, symmetricality, pheromones/smell, fashion, makeup, hair, style, body type,, etc.). Genitalia can - and for many does - absolutely play into all of that, but it's merely a part of a bigger concept. It does the entire concept and everyone who feels it a disservice to pretend it's based purely on genitalia. A focus/concentration on genitalia only would be a philia or fetish.

Hi, BigWoofEh! I like the username! This is a hard one to get a grasp on because you don't really talk a lot about what you think you may be feeling that is or isn't romantic attraction. Based on what you said here, it could easily be a fear or lack of desire to commit or simply being not yet ready to commit. It could also just be the natural course of these relationships that they were better in the "honeymoon phase" but once that passed, you realized you weren't really attracted to them (anymore) or happy with them once things settled. And, you could of course be arospec in addition to either or both of these. You're here for a reason, though. Have you checked out the threads Early Signs You Were Aro or You Might Be Aro If...? How about any of the links in this semi-masterpost about how others figured out they were aro and signs that you might be aro? I would also even suggest looking through the Carnival of Aros posts. One topic you might find particularly interesting is Relationships or even the Love topic. Do you connect with the things you read in those links? How about identifying as aromantic - how does the thought of doing so make you feel? Do you think that identifying as aromantic would help you in any way? Would it help you communicate your feelings to others? Or how about to connect with others who have similar feelings/experiences as you? If you answered positively or in an affirmative way to any of those questions, then that's a good sign that you're aro!

Since this thread has been bumped, I have to chime in. Genitalia is not "male" or "female". It can be external or internal - or both, even. Gendering genitalia like this is cisnormative and even transphobic. (I understand why you went with these descriptions, it's a common thing to do - but it has implications that aren't great.) Attraction is not based off of what genitalia you enjoy/prefer/have a fetish or philia for. We define attraction based off of gender (and to imply that genitalia defines gender is definitely transphobic). You can find someone or parts of people aesthetically pleasing without being sexually attracted to them. You can certainly have sex with people without being sexually attracted to them as well. The answer to your question lies here: "Only sexually attracted to women". That's what sexual attraction is based off of. Who (not what!) you are/can be sexually attracted to. I see your profile lists you as "female", so it sounds like - from that quote alone - you're an (aro) lesbian. However, caveat - as aepaex said, if the label bisexual is in any way useful to you and you want to use it, then it sounds like you're bisexual! If you want sexual relationships with men as well as women, regardless of who you're attracted to, then bisexual would indeed be a useful label. This seems like a good point to throw in my usual spiel: labels are not some predetermined answer to who you are. They are for us and we should use whatever label(s) make us happy/comfortable, whatever label(s) we actually want to use, and/or whatever label(s) helps us communicate how we feel/what we want to others. I know that seems a bit contradictory. I'm happy to try and talk about it more in depth if you want.

I'm not sure if maybe you have a history of manipulation and that's why you're worried that simply honestly communicating with someone you're in a relationship with would be manipulative, but I have a feeling this might be stemming from the abusive, harmful lies that so many exclusionists spread that being aro/ace is somehow inherently abusive. Let me be clear: your identity is not abusive/manipulative!!! It's just your identity. It's not manipulative to be in a romantic relationship while aromantic. It's not manipulative to be in a romantic relationship and realize that you're aromantic. As for not hurting her: you cannot control other people's feelings. If she's hurt by your truth, then she's hurt by your truth. If she needs time to process, she needs time to process. If she's happy and comfortable, she's happy and comfortable. The unfortunate truth is that even if we're not doing something purposefully hurtful or malicious, people's feelings can be hurt. We just have to accept that people have their feelings and are allowed to feel them. No, it doesn't feel great to hurt someone, especially when you specifically don't want to, but you aren't doing anything wrong. In fact, you are doing something very brave and wonderful by wanting to open up and be honest about this with your girlfriend. No matter how it turns out, you will both end up happier for having been honest and being able to make your own decisions regarding this relationship. Finally, how do you tell her? I think you laid it out wonderfully here: - You're happy and you really care about her - You don't want to break up - You don't really experience romantic attraction like other people do - For you, the relationship has absolutely been committed but based more on teamwork and friendship than romanticism Something else you might think about is if you want anything about your relationship to change or if you like everything as it is, as that's important information for both of you. All you need to do is be honest (and I do suggest trying to be a bit concise and not to ramble too much - it can be overwhelming for the both of you). Then you give your girlfriend time to process. Maybe she needs to ask some questions or wants to do some research or just needs to think. She may be hurt, you may be hurt, there may be tears, there may be hugging and affirmations - you're both allowed to feel your feelings and have your own reactions. Being vulnerable is really hard and really scary but getting to be truly yourself can really make that all worth it. Good luck!

Could sexual repulsion be related to romance repulsion? Of course, why not? These are your experiences. Do you feel they're related? Does it help for you to consider them as such? Is sexual repulsion automatically, always linked to romance repulsion? Nah, we're far too diverse and different for that. I used to very sex repulsed but not at all romance repulsed. And I'm more the opposite these days.

TW: Mention of domestic abuse I used to be pretty touch repulsed. I was fine being close with my sister and hugging her and dancing with her perhaps because I knew it was completely platonic? I had one friend who "trained" me to accept hugs, which never sat well with me, but it was really after a couple years of an abusive relationship that I became basically numb to touch. I'm not really repulsed anymore, but I don't really seek out touch either. I prefer high fives and fist bumps to hugs, if at all. I don't really even like handshakes. I don't enjoy cuddling - too intimate, too much closeness. Oddly enough, I have discovered that I do enjoy kissing (like kissing)??? But only kissing - no cuddling at the same time or anything.

I'm so sorry, Shines. This is never easy, and unfortunately, there's really no good solution. This is because it doesn't matter how hard you try or how patient you are - you can't force people to change their mind if they're not willing to have an open mind and confront their own beliefs. What you can do is decide your own limits and what it is you need for your mental health and physical safety. If you want to - and only if you want to - you can keep bringing this up to your family and try to educate them more on aromanticism. You might find AUREA a helpful starting place for this, especially if you think your family might be willing to check out some resources for themselves. Or you might decide this is a subject you want to avoid with them. Change the subject to something else when it comes up and make this something you don't really talk about with them. Frustrating, sad, hurtful - but you don't have to engage with anything you don't want. If they can't respect your feelings, then they don't get to partake in that part of your life. There is no inherently right or wrong decision to make here. The best decision is the one you make for yourself (and know that you can always change your mind and try out a different method later if you want). Regardless, however you can, I would lean more on the people you can trust and who accept and support you more. Do you have accepting friends? I don't know much about Italy, but how about any queer organizations/clubs/groups in your area? They may not really know about aromanticism, but they may also be more open-minded than your family. How about more online communities like this one (particularly in your native language so they're easier for you to navigate) and across other social media forms? There is nothing wrong with being aromantic. There's nothing wrong with being aromantic and having sex with people you want to have sex with. There's nothing wrong with your identity. < 3

Have I mentioned Stevie from Schitt's Creek as grayro? Because every time I tune back into this show, that pops up for me again!

Welcome! Hope you enjoy yourself around the forums.

Reasons I have come out or want to come out: I deserve to get to authentically, honestly live my life as who I am, including the identity labels I've chosen I do not like being misread or assumed as straight - it exhausts and upsets me Visibility is important for a variety of reasons, including helping others so they don't have to feel lost and broken and alone Because you can and should be able to talk about things like that with people you trust Because I was excited to learn there was a word for how I felt and genuinely wanted to share To connect with others Because, once initial explanations are out of the way, it's easier and quicker to say than going through whole descriptions of how I feel Pun opportunities >D Because I'm involved in aspec education and activism and it shows credibility to be able to talk about my own personal experiences Because my identity is not something to be ashamed of, it's not 18+, and it's not something I obligated to hide or keep secret - it's a part of me and I deserve to get to talk about that, just like anybody else