hemogoblin

2651

I've really never dreamed about love or romantic relationships in general, even when I was allo. But I also don't remember dreams all that often either.

Really enjoyed this one! Strange and unique and a lot more relaxing than my recent fare. Had a good amount of twists and turns that kept me on my toes. It was interesting! I'm not sure I could have ever truly predicted what a ride I was in for, lol. And man did it just keep escalating! . I've been halfway through Harrow the Ninth for months now because moving and starting a new job and a bunch of other factors totally threw me off, and I'm struggling really badly with executive dysfunction. D| I want to finish, I just don't know how to pick up the book again. Argh.

2649

No. They are neither romantic, nor platonic, hence the name. I've (and others) talked about this recently more in depth here, including with links to tons of people describing their QPRs. They are different from romance, just like any other type of relationship differs from others, by the intent behind them, which is queerplatonic. Not romantic. Not platonic. But something else: queerplatonic. Some friends have sex. Some friends kiss. Some friends go on dates. Many people consider those "romantic/intimate/committed relationship" things but that doesn't mean they inherently are. The difference is the intent behind them. People get to define that for themselves.

Wipe

2647

Twine

2644

There's no rules you have to follow. If that's what you want to do, that's what you get to pursue and ask for and potentially do that with someone who wants the same thing! I personally have no interest in relationships, so I don't pursue any of any kind. But your desire sounds absolutely amazing for you to look for and hopefully get to experience.

2640

Teen

There are different legal systems out there for various options (and some may even try opting out of involving legalities if they trust who is involved), but there are people who have children with willing donors by means other than IVF or surrogacy or whatnot. Like, the "turkey baster" is a thing because people actually do that. Some people even have platonic sex for the purpose of kids with willing partners. There may be more options out there than you know. There's also non-parent ways to have kids in your life, such as volunteering with organizations like Big Siblings or being the cool aunt/uncle/cousin/mentor to friend's kids. It's not the same as being a parent, but it can bring a joy that helps fill that need. But also, yeah, we don't always get what we want in life. And that sucks! You just gotta let yourself grieve as best as possible. I'm sorry. Keep working to understand, respect, and prioritize your needs. It's okay to seek out casual, short-term sex if that's what you want. There's a ton of atypical and relationship relationship anarchical relationship types that reading up on may give you some ideas of how you want to approach relationships (which can mean, also, not really approaching them). Just because amatonormativity has presented us with one option doesn't mean there aren't other options out there if you're willing to get creative! Feelings are hard, especially when you have conflicting and contradicting ones. But I would say expand your horizons. There may be more ways out there for you to have your needs met that you don't even realize yet. =) Good luck!

Ultimately, the only people's opinions whose matter are those who are directly involved in the relationship. That's you and your partner. Not me, not your (former) friend (who, btw, I suggest making that "former" official; sounds like he sexually harassed your partner, and that is unacceptable behavior). Unfortunately, thus is the nature of life. This is kind of the point of dating, as well. You can't predict the future. He can't either. Best just appreciate the time you have together while you have it together. This may end up being days, weeks, months, years, or decades. Enjoy it for as long as you're able. You have no idea what will happen in the future. Tons of things could happen. Things totally unrelated to your different identities could happen and cause hurt. You're just gonna have to face that potential possibility if it ever happens. If you spend too much time worrying about the future, you'll miss getting to actually live in the present.

Teas

2638

2635

2633

2630

2627 Yeah, I'm jealous you got that number, lol :P

I don't want to tell you what to do, but you two sound like a terrible mismatch. You're polyam. They're monogamous. This level of jealousy easily leads to toxicity and even controlling behaviors. They are traditional and want a traditional romantic relationship. Being a boyfriend makes you feel trapped and anxious. You haven't even started dating yet and you're filled with dread and discomfort. They don't listen to you or respect your feelings. You have told them all of this, and they basically said "so? I'm going to get what I want". You don't sound safe, much less happy, pursuing this. It sounds like they're probably being pushy and not taking no for an answer, and that's hard and scary to deal with. But breaking things off only gets harder the longer things go on. Remember that you don't need them to understand or agree with how you feel. Ie, you don't have to debate them on your feelings. You get to say "I do not want to go on this date, and I need some space from our friendship" and leave it at that. Your feelings are not up for debate. Your comfort matters. Your happiness matters. You get to say "I do not want to go on this date, and I need some space from our friendship" and then (at least temporarily) block them and just focus on taking care of yourself. It is their job to process their feelings about this. I promise: they will recover. Good luck. Also, re: your title. Sometimes (actually, a lot of times), people enjoy fantasizing about things they don't actually enjoy in real life. Many people may have grandiose dreams of being famous - but very little interest in putting up with the reality of what actually comes with being famous. People see themselves traveling or learning some instrument or being fluent in another language but don't want to actually indulge in the time, effort, or money these things may need. And some aros enjoy the concept of romance in fantasy but not so much in reality.

Umm...true, I guess. I'm really not good at it, though. TPBM has drawn fanart or written fanfic within the past two months

Leese

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/grey-rock-method/ . Chicken smoothie?

2625