Is there any real benefit of telling people I’m aro?

[bluster kong]

Title is pretty self explanatory, is there any reason? I feel like all it would be would be a semi awkward conversation that wouldn’t end up having any real affect on anything but I could be wrong. Being aro doesn’t really affect me in my day to day life so I don’t see why it would affect anyone else

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

I dunno, is there? Do you want to? Think about it. It’s your choice. 

[CanadianBird]

As long as you aren't having lunch with a bunch of TERFs, I think it's awesome (if circumstances allow). Possibly meet other aros, or a subtle way to politely tell people where you stand. 

[Picklethewickle]

It lets people understand you better. It lets you know if your friends are accepting, or if you need new friends. I can't think of anything besides that.

[S-Hawk]

i do this to establish boundaries n potentially meet fellow arospecs irl

[Holmbo]

To me it helped a lot because many of my friends were wondering why I hadn't been in any romantic relationship for years. But I don't know your situation so I don't know if it would be useful for you.

[Green Bean]

I personally think it's not really a conversation worth having unless it's talking with a trusted close friend/family or a potential partner. At the end of the day, you don't owe anyone any explanation.

But then again, some people managed to make new friends because they came out as aro, so I suppose it's your call!

[Collie]

Do you want to? Do you feel safe to? Those are the main things.

For me, it's mainly just a facet of myself. It's good for explaining myself if need be. Other times it may just be an interesting bit of trivia.

[nonmerci]

It depends on the person really. For some it is because they want to share an important with their closed ones (in particular after the self-discovery phase). For some it is to explain why they are not dating. For some it is to shut down questions and pressure from others (that doesn't necessarily work cause arophobia but...). For some it is because they are looking for QPRs and don't want people to assume it is romance. Some are just proud.

Anyway lot of reasons can be involved. Personally I just mention it in a conversation if I feel like it when the topic of my relationships is brought up. Cause I feel like I would be lying or hiding the truth if I don't explain I don't date cause I'm aro. Not saying that was everyone who doesn't share their identity is doing, but that's how I feel about myself.

 

To sum up : if you don't think coming out is important for you, then don't.

Edited August 22, 2023 by nonmerci

[Firebird]

On 8/19/2023 at 6:05 PM, CanadianBird said:

As long as you aren't having lunch with a bunch of TERFs, I think it's awesome (if circumstances allow). Possibly meet other aros, or a subtle way to politely tell people where you stand. 

Wait, TERFs are going after aros now? What the actual fuck 😭

On 8/19/2023 at 3:20 PM, bluster kong said:

Title is pretty self explanatory, is there any reason? I feel like all it would be would be a semi awkward conversation that wouldn’t end up having any real affect on anything but I could be wrong. Being aro doesn’t really affect me in my day to day life so I don’t see why it would affect anyone else

I can't not tell people I'm aro, because I see it as a way to set a boundary. I have been the unfortunate target of romantic BS too many times, and it's so traumatic, that any arophobic BS people might say is nothing compared to having to deal with romanticism. Not to mention, I feel like I can assert my boundaries a lot more easily if I declare the reason for the existence of said boundary in the first place. Not to mention, having an explanation for my behavior and way of thinking just makes it so much easier to connect with people, as opposed to putting on a mask of being someone I'm not.

[DeltaAro]

11 hours ago, Firebird said:

Wait, TERFs are going after aros now? What the actual fuck 😭

That's new to me, too. The only self-identified TERF that I know who mocked aros is Ophelia Benson.

On 8/19/2023 at 9:20 PM, bluster kong said:

Title is pretty self explanatory, is there any reason? I feel like all it would be would be a semi awkward conversation that wouldn’t end up having any real affect on anything but I could be wrong. Being aro doesn’t really affect me in my day to day life so I don’t see why it would affect anyone else

I want my friends to better understand me and my choices in life. Also, it's just more authentic.